


Whisper that you love me || Sequel to 'It started with a Whisper ||

by MukeSinner



Series: It started with a whisper [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AlcoholAbuse, Bad Boy Harry, BadBoyGoneSoft, Blowjobs, Booktwo, Bottomlouis, BoyxBoy, Bullying, Drugabuse, Fanfiction, M/M, MentionsOfPastAbuse, NotSoInnocentLouis, SchoolBadAss, Topharry, Toplouis, Violence, analsex, bottomHarry, handjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-10-25 06:17:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10758456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MukeSinner/pseuds/MukeSinner
Summary: Sequel to “It Started with a Whisper”|| Don’t read if you haven’t read the first book. ||~~~I SUCK AT SUMMARIES!!!! SO MUCH MORE WILL HAPPEN~~~After problems with their families, school, and both of their attitudes, Harry and Louis are still going strong. Their relationship has never been better. But what happens when the pressure from the real world sets in? It’s no longer problems involving an outfit they are going to wear or school bullies, but what college they are going to and how they are going to afford it. Will the relationship they worked so hard to put together, tear apart from Louis worrying about getting a job and stressing about which college he is going to get to, and Harry worrying about their relationship in general and college? How much can they really take before they give up and go their separate ways? Or, will all this pressure bring them closer together and make them realize they can’t do this without each other?Guess you’ll have to read to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AND IM BACKKKKK!!!!! I bring you the first chapter to my second book!! The first one is posted on this account, so if you haven't read it, I suggest you do. This chapter takes place a week after the last chapter in the previous book, and I wanted to bring back first person POV, so I figured Harry would be the best person to start out with. I have so much planned for this book, and I can not wait to hear your guys' thoughts!!! 
> 
> ON WITH THE SHOWWWW!!!! (I'm highkey so excited)

My teeth were gritted together as I stood outside, trying to get some peace and quiet, but like always, that was never going to happen. My jaw was throbbing painfully when I began to grind my teeth, my head turning to the right so I could watch the thing that bugged the living shit out of me, come running around the corner, followed by its owner. Her black body stood out in the snow, making it easy to spot her.

The cat, Zoey, came and rested by my feet, and I couldn’t stop myself from growling, hoping she got the picture and fucked off. Turns out, she didn’t care. She maneuvered her way between my legs and began to purr, her head rubbing against the top of my shoe. “Growl again, I think it’s sexy,” Louis said, coming to a halt in front of me and placing his small hand on my chest.

I wanted to grab his wrist and throw it off of my body, to show him that I wasn’t in the mood to play, but his damn eyes grew soft as he stared up at me from underneath his thick eyelashes. “Will you get this damn thing away from me?” I asked instead, my foot nudging at the cat’s side.

I had silently hoped it would tip her over, but it didn’t. It just messed up her balance, and she swayed for a second, but she caught herself and glared up at me. “Oh, come on, Hazza, she likes you. Just give her a chance,”

“She just glared at me, Louis. The cat glared at me, and you want me to give her a chance?” This was no amusin the the slightest, but Louis seemed like it was because he laughed and picked the cat up, his fingers brushing the fur on her back.

“It’s a cat, not a human, she can’t glare,” he said, shoving the black ball of fur at me. For a split second, I was tempted to leave my arms at my sides and let it fall, but then I knew what that would do to Louis, so I quickly caught her in my arms and stared down at her.

She was an odd looking thing. Her head was far too large for her body, and since she’s been here, her stomach has grown too, but not her body. Nope. She had a large head and a protruding stomach, with tiny legs and everything. “It’s ugly,”

At that, a hand was swatting my arm and Louis was ripping the cat out of my arms.  _ Thank fucking god.  _ “She is not!” he gasped, shocked, even though I have told him she was ugly since the first day he got her those many, many months ago.

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the house, propping my leg behind me. “Whatever you say, love.”

“I do say so! She is adorable and fuck you if you say otherwise! You need glasses,” he shouted, making me grin. He was adorable when he was aggressive.

“Fine, fine, she’s cute,” pausing, I threaded my fingers through my hair and whistled quietly under my breath, my eyes falling on the rising sun. “How about you and the adorable little thing go and play in the woods, yeah?” 

Louis rolled his eyes, but spun around and began to skip towards the woods, leaving his shoe prints behind in the powder white snow. My eyes followed after him, and it wasn’t until he disappeared into the thick trees that I finally let my eyes drift around me. Snow covered the ground like a thick white blanket. The tree branches hung low from the weight, a few looking as if they were about to snap.

I shook my head and let my head rest against the cool brick, my head tipping back and up towards the sun. I wanted to relax, to let myself soak in the sun without getting absurdly cold. I was wearing one of my old hoodies, because Louis begged me to let him wear my jean jacket, and I couldn’t bring myself to say no. Even with the thick material, I could feel the cool air, and I imagined my nose was bright red, because I lost feeling to it a few minutes ago.

Sighing, I let my mind drift off. I haven’t had any time alone since I gave Louis the damn promise ring. When it was him I was with, I didn’t mind, but I hated the fact that my mum has been breathing down my neck since last week. She’s watching my every move, either waiting for me to drop down on one knee and propose to Louis, or break up with him and break his heart.

The first seemed more realistic than the second, but don’t ask me why. I can’t figure out why I love the annoying little shit so much. It doesn’t matter if he is jabbering on and on about something I couldn’t give two shits about, or simply sitting in my lap with his fingers raking through my hair as he tries to coax a story out of me.

And, without fail, I always tell him one. They range from princes’ getting married, to some silly made up shit about a boy stumbling to the woods and finding a man there that he falls in love with, that he later discovers is time himself. He makes me tell him the latter one more than any other story, and I think it’s because of the fact that time freezes the moment he meets the young man, and stays there for years, mesmerizing each detail on the young boy’s face and of the space around them before he starts time again and disappears, leaving the boy questioning everything that happened.

He then, later, visits that same place again and finds the young man is still sitting there, waiting for him. Despite everything that has ever been said, Time does wait for one man, and that man later becomes his husband. It’s cheesy, and I would deny ever telling that story, but Louis loves it, so I tell him it.

Louis Tomlinson is the boy I wanted to fuck last year, but want to make my husband this year. Quite a change he’s made to me in such a short time, yeah? Yeah. 

I cracked my eyes open and watched the last few seconds of the sun rise. It was a beautiful thing to see as the sun finally came to rest above the tall trees in my backyard. The snow seemed to react to the sun, and it began to shimmer brightly, reflecting the light and sending it in multiple different directions.

Ah, yet another thing that he has changed about me. I have found myself wanting to view the things around me more, and actually sit back and admire them, rather than just glance at it and piss off somewhere else. Smiling, I pushed myself up off the wall and glanced at the woods, debating on whether or not I wanted to follow after him. 

I had decided not to. He needed time alone, and I was going to give him that. Then I heard this noise, and goosebumps covered my skin when a high, loud pitched scream followed it. I listened for a second to see if anything followed. Nothing did. Fear kicked in and I didn’t think twice before I was running towards the woods, my feet working faster than my brain. I followed Louis’ footprints and found him in our meadow, his eyes wide with tears as he reached over the edge of the pond, his sobs being heard from where I was standing.

“Louis, baby, what’s wrong?” I asked, panting as I walked up behind him, my eyes widening when I seen what had him so worked up. There was a Rabbit floating in the water, it’s frozen body continuously hitting into the ice that surrounded it. 

“We have to save it, Harry, we can’t leave it,” he sobbed, turning to face me with red, puffy eyes.

“It’s dead,” I whispered, my heart constricting when he sobbed even louder and leaned forward, stick now in hand, and began to break the ice so the rabbit could float closer to him. I didn’t have the heart the pull him away and tell him he was beyond help (I’ve turned mushy, I know, but fuck off) so I grabbed a large stick instead and dropped down onto my knees, next to him, and began to help him break the ice.

I eyed the small creature, and even from here, you could see it was obviously dead. A white layer covered his eyes, and his body was frozen stiff, meaning he has been out here for quite some time. Regardless, I helped him break the ice and when the thing got close enough to us, I used two sticks and fished him out of the water.

All hope left Louis’ eyes when I laid him on the ground and his body stayed the exact same way. There wasn’t any indication of life; not one tiny twitch of the ear, or a barely visible movement of the paw. He was dead, and Louis knew that now.

Without saying anything to me, he bent down and grabbed Zoey from her place on the rock, and began to walk away. “Stay,” he told me without looking back at me before he disappeared out of sight.

_ What the fuck? I was supposed to stay? _

Ha, like that’ll happen.

I went to walk forward, but I hesitated before I sighed deeply and moved back to where I was before. Louis better fucking come back, or I was going to spank him for leaving me out here for no reason.

Oh, spanking.

At the sudden change of topic, my mind wandered to Louis bent over my knees, a pair of pretty blue panties on his bum. His ass was a pretty shade of pink, and when I placed my hand on it, it was warm. 

My dick began to stir in my pants, and I quickly diminished those thoughts because I could feel the rabbits dead eyes staring at me, judging me. I cleared my throat and shifted on my feet, my hands clasping in front of my body as I rocked back and forth on my feet. How fucking long was I supposed to wait here until Louis got back? Was I supposed to wait until my balls froze off, or just until I could no longer feel any parts on my body?

“I grabbed you gloves so you could pick it up,” Louis said, suddenly appearing behind me. I jumped back, nearly tripping over the rabbit and falling ass first into the water, and looked down at him.

He had a pair of thick gloves, a shovel, a piece of wood, and a sharpie. I had no idea where he got the wood, but I didn’t have any time to ask before everything, aside from the shovel, were being thrown in my arms and he was walking towards a tree in the far side, where there was little to no snow under it, and began to dig.

Well, he tried to dig.

The ground was frozen solid, so all he managed to do was make a little nic in the dirt. “Give me the shovel,” I said, rolling my eyes as I reached out for it.

He turned his head and looked questioningly at me, and I nodded in response. He grinned and handed it to me, then took the stuff out of my arms and stepped aside, allowing me access to dig. “You need to wear this,” I growled at him, taking off my hoodie before he could fight. His nose was bright red, his cheeks were even redder, and he was sniffling. If he didn’t get warm soon, I would be taking care of a sick Louis tomorrow.

He, surprisingly, didn’t fight me on it. He set the stuff on the rock, pulled off the jean jacket, put the hoodie on, then put back on the jean jacket. I smiled in satisfaction, and began to dig. 

It was a lot fucking harder than it looked. It was nearly impossibly to get the shovel through the frozen dirt, but when I did, everything went fine from there. I could see Louis watching me out of the corner of my eyes, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth. “Like what you see?” I teased, my voice breathless.

“More than anything,” he whispered in response, his eyes growing a shade darker. I chuckled and shook my head, focusing back on the task at hand before I say ‘fuck it’ and screw him out here, yet again. 

A few minutes later I finished digging a hole that seemed deep enough, and I waited for Louis to grab to rabbit. I shoved the shovel into the ground and leaned against it, my arm propped up on the cool, metal handle. My skin was bright red by now from the chilly weather, but I didn’t care about me getting sick. I could handle myself. Louis, on the other hand, was a whole other story when he was sick.

“Got him,” Louis half screamed half shrieked as he turned around, the rabbit dangling in front of him. He had ahold of his ear, that’s it, nothing else. 

“Hurry up, pansy,” I said fondly, rolling my eyes. Louis ran over to me and threw the rabbit into the hole, his nose scrunching up in disgust as he threw the gloves in random directions.

I laughed at him, but didn’t say anything because I wanted to go home already, so I buried the rabbit while Louis wrote “Rest in peace, Judy” on the piece of wood. When I was finished, I shoved the piece of wood into the ground, above it’s head, and stepped back to admire my work.

“You did good,” Louis whispered to me, his warm hand sneaking out and grabbing ahold of my ice cold one.

“You are way too good for this world, Louis Tomlinson,” I said, and not for the first time. I was awed by him and his heart more days then I wasn’t. He was far too kind and good for this world, and I honestly don’t think that anyone should ever have the chance to tell him that he is anything but a wonderful human being. 

Because he is so much more. To me, and even to this frozen rabbit we just buried.

****

Time skip: Next day

“Are you ready for this?” I asked Louis, my hand grabbing the door handle, but I didn’t pull it open just yet. Today was our first day back to school after christmas break, and Louis decided he was going to ‘toughen’ up and go to school without his hoodie. Me, being the ‘amazing’ boyfriend I am, encouraged him and told him to do it.

“What about the ring?” he asked, his hand flying over to his other hand so he could play with the band. 

“What about it? If anyone gives you shit at all today, I promise you I will kick their arse,” I promised him, taking his hand in mine. I hated how his eyes filled with fear and how he cowered back at my touch. I hated all the people in this fucking school for making him doubt himself, but most of all, I fucking hate his mum and Seth for making him flinch every time I tried to hold his head when I didn’t let him know beforehand.

He smiled shyly up at me, rewarding me with a dazzling smile that made my heart throb in my chest. “My hero,” he whispered, batting his eyelashes and placing his hand lightly on his head, like he was about to faint.

I snorted and rolled my eyes, my worry for him already disappearing. He seemed to be able to calm me, even when I was on the verge of killing someone. He never seemed to fail.

“Fuck that, I’m not a hero,” I said, and I wasn’t. In no way shape or form have I saved Louis, or made this world a better place. I was just me, Harry Styles, boy with a bad temper and very active labido.

“You’re my hero,” he said sincerely, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. I noticed how he instinctively leaned closer to me when I smiled back, and my heart began to race.

I pulled him to my chest, placed a quick kiss on his forehead-- to reassure him and let him know that I was always here for him, and turned us so we were facing the door. “Let’s go,” I said, pride blooming in my chest when he leaned forward and tugged to door open for the both of us.

He stayed close to me as we walked down the hallway, and the moment we reached a hallway with a lot of activity, I began to feel my body tense. People snickered around us, and a few murmured about Louis’ outfit, his ring, or both of us. My eyes darted around to see a few older and younger students looking at us in disgust.

I didn’t care what they thought, I really fucking didn’t, but the boy that I cared about did, and I wasn’t about to sit back and let any of this slide. “What the fuck are you staring at? We’re two males that are dating, get the fuck over it,” I fumed, my arm tightening around Louis.

“It’s wrong,” someone yelled.

“Don’t fucking flaunt it around school,” someone else yelled.

“It’s fucking disgusting how you think it’s okay to be with another guy,” another person yelled, and I snapped.

“It’s fucking pathetic how you guys have so much to say about my life, yet your own life is fucking shit. How many of you can say that you aren’t drunk? Or that you didn’t go out and get wasted this entire winter break?” I asked, watching as everyone fell silent and nobody raised their hand. “Exactly. So fuck off and get your life together before you start judging mine. Get on the fucking web, you small-minded bigots, it’s the twenty first century,” I growled, every single muscle in my body tight and my breathing shallow.

I wanted to hit something, or somebody, and make everyone understand that my life is none of their fucking business. What goes on between me and Louis, is our business, we get to decide what is right and wrong and I know for a god damn fact that loving him isn’t  _ wrong. _

“So, the fag gets all angry and tries to scare us,” Gage, the school’s biggest douche, says as he steps out from the crowed. “Face it, Styles, you’re nothing but a fucking queer who takes it up the ass every night,”

I was stepping away from Louis, my vision going in and out as my anger grew until I felt like I was going to burst, when Louis gripped my arm tightly and drug me backwards. “Gage, honey, I wouldn’t make it a habit in making fun of gay people, considering you and Tristan have been fucking for a few months now,” Louis spoke up, making me and everyone else freeze and look at him. “And don’t even try and deny it, Gage. You forget, I’m a T.A seventh period. I hear everything that goes on in the bathrooms,” he grinned widely at him and I my eyes widened.

Where the fuck did that come from?

I heard a few people snicker and call Gage a condescending prick, and some very colorful names, before he turned around and ran down the hallway. “What was that?” I asked Louis, pulling him into a tight hug and kissing the side of his head. “You’re a fucking genius!” I have never felt more delight from something Louis has said, than I have now.

He giggled against my chest and pulled back, his right eyebrow inclined. “You needed help, so I helped you,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders, acting as if what he said wasn’t probably going to get his ass kicked later. I’d never let it happen, of course.

“Is it true? Are they fucking?” 

“Mhhm. Gage likes to be called a bad girl,” Louis said, shuddering as his mind seemed to play some memories.

I grinned widely and grabbed his hand. We began to walk down the hallway once again, everyone now fucking off and paying no attention to us. “I’m going to call him that everytime I see him,” I said, my eyes lighting up at just the thought. God, this was going to be so much fucking fun. I was going to make his life  _ hell. _

Louis opened his mouth to respond, but then his head seemed to turn in another direction. My ears perked when I heard his name, and like him, I began to listen. “Did you hear about Louis Tomlinson? He told everyone Gage is sleeping with Tristan,” there was a small pause, “Yeah! The nerd that used to keep quiet! He called Gage out! Dude, you should have been there, it was awesome. Gage looked like he was about to piss his pants and cry at the same time!”

“Well, Louis Tomlinson,” I began, my hand curling around his hip, “Looks like you aren’t the quiet little book boy anymore,” I finished, the same feeling of pride returning. 

Turns out that maybe, just maybe, I have helped Louis. I helped him come out of his shell, and now…. He is the somebody to these idiots that he should have been all along.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is setting up a lot of future events. I won't spoil them and tell you what they are, but just this chapter in mind. Haha. So, I have only posted one chapter of this story but I have already got so many people reading it, and I honestly feel blessed! You are all so amazing and I am so glad you are giving my stories a chance!
> 
> Ugh, I will stop with this now. No ugly tears today. Haha. So, back to the whole 'do you want to know the songs I write each chapter to?'. Because, I will be more than glad to tell you them. And I was thinking about doing random facts about me each chapter, just so you guys can get to know me a little better. Let me know if you'd like that? Okay, i'll let you get to it! 
> 
> Much love, Xx

Louis’ point of view:

I stared at the folders in front of me, my hands shaking at my sides. I couldn’t believe that in a matter of three days, I would be retaking my ACT test, _and_ sending out college applications. The red folder looked so intimidating. I felt like it was taunting me, telling me that even though these schools were offering me scholarships, that I wouldn’t get in, that I wasn’t good enough.

“Breath, Louis,” Harry reminded me, his hand gently rubbing slow circles into my back.

_I couldn’t do this._

“Can’t I just do high school over? I’ll gladly get bullied. Please, don’t make me do this,” I pleaded, closing my eyes so I didn’t have to stare at either of the folders. The red one, while it was intimidating, was nowhere near as scary as the yellow one. The yellow one was my transcripts. The bulging binder was full of my entire high school years. It had every last thing I did here, down to the three months I had been apart of the student council, but dropped out so I could focus on tutoring students.

I had been active all three years I spent here. I did a plenty of extracurricular activities, I helped out at homeless shelters and put in a ton of hours helping at old people homes. I kept my grades up and hardly ever missed any school and my test scores were above and beyond any other students in here. But 90% of that folder lied. Jen made sure that she included proof and what not of all the minutes, hours, days, months and even years that I spent tutoring kids. She wrote a letter of recommendation to each one of the colleges and told them how hard working I was and how I could improve the school and what I could do and crap like that.

But they weren’t looking for that. All these years that I have busted my ass helping these kids, means nothing to those colleges. They wanted kids that put themselves out there, that showed they had good people skills and would actually do good things in their school. They wanted students that were student council members, or even the captain of the football teams. Not a boy who was simply good at math and could help others learn.

“You have to, Lou. Look at how many colleges want _you._ You can’t let yourself be afraid when you have come this far I mean, look,” Harry opened the yellow folder and pulled out my transcripts, his eyes widening in surprise for a second before he caught me looking and shook it off. “You have 5.0 gpa, your test scores are bloody amazing, and your ACT…” he cut off and his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull.

“What?” I asked, leaning forward and trying to snatch the papers from him but he leaned back and held them up, out of my reach.

“I’m dating a fucking genius,” Harry whispered, ducking the tissue box Jen threw at him.

“Language!” she scolded him, but she didn’t look very intimidating with that smile she wore.

“I’m sorry! Have you seen these test scores? Mine aren’t even half of these,” Harry gaped, waving the folder at Jen.

The two began to discuss how I was a genius and how all of these colleges would be begging at my feet to get me to come to their schools, but I couldn’t believe that. I was smart, sure, but only in this school. There are plenty of people out there way smarter then me, and it would take Harry getting slapped in the face with proof before he realized it.

“Maybe I can be the next Albert Einstein,” I joked, but my heart wasn’t in it. How could I make myself believe that I was smart, when my brain and practically every other person in this school was telling me otherwise.

Sighing, I leaned back in my chair and watched as Harry stood up, grabbed a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and stapled it to the front of his shirt. “I’m dating the new, hotter, Albert Einstein,” was written across the white paper in big, black bold letters.

This time, I laughed. “You are not wearing that around school,”

“Am so. I want all these fuckers to know that I supported you from day one. Otherwise, they’ll think i’m a hot gold digger going after your money when you’re rich and famous,” he joked, waggling his eyebrows as he stared my body up and down. “I’d be one lucky gold digger,”

“Alright, alright, fine,” I sighed, letting him have his way. This was the last period of the day anyway, so I would intentionally take longer than necessary to get my things so not many people seen the sign, or we could just leave early. “Help me grab these books so we can take them home. I need to study if I’m going to do good on this test,” I said as I stood up from my chair, three thick books in my arm, along with the two folders.

I had two books for each subject, and there was four subjects so somehow me and Harry were supposed to carry eight books out to his car. “You do know there is this thing called the internet, where you can study,” Harry said, staring incredulously at the books.

“Grab the books, Harry,” I said, rolling my eyes fondly. He managed to shove three books in his backpack, so that left him with two to carry, which he did happily… at least that’s what I pretended. “Bye Jen,” I said over my shoulder, pushing Harry out of the door in front of me.

“These things are fucking heavy,” Harry whined, his words echoing in the quiet hallways, School didn’t get out for another few minutes, so nobody would see Harry’s ridiculous sign, and we wouldn’t be trampled.

“Suck it up, wimp,” I teased him, nudging his arm with my shoulder. Harry was anything but a wimp, and he knew that too, but he seemed to have been hurt by what I said because he pulled back from me and hefted his heavy bag up on his shoulders, his eyes casting to the ground.

I have become an expert Harry reader. I know that when that bounce in his step is gone, and his body seems to be closing in on itself, like he's trying to hide, that he is starting to feel insecure about himself. It rarely happens, but when it does, it always makes me feel…. Unsure about myself. If someone like Harry was insecure, then imagine what someone like me felt.

“What's wrong, Hazza?” I asked him quietly and pressed the handicap button with my elbow so the doors swung open for us and we were able to walk outside without having to juggle our backpacks and books while trying to keep the doors open.

He stayed quiet as we walked down the stairs, his eyes void of any emotion. “Hazza, what's wrong?” I repeated myself, louder this time. He jumped back, startled, and blinked several times, like he was bringing himself back from somewhere far, far away.

“Huh? Did you say something?” He asked, voice low as he looked up at me with confusion painted on his face. His eyes looked duller, like he still wasn't full back from wherever his mind had taken him.

I set my books and bag on top of the car, and allowed him to do the same, before I cupped his cheek and tilted his head down so he was forced to look at me. “You were gone there for a second,” I said quietly, to which he nodded. “Where did you go?”

Something flashed deep inside his emerald orbs, and for a second I could have swore it was a faint flicker of pain (maybe regret) but it was gone too quick. “When you become successful, will you leave me?” He asked, his voice so quiet and so painfully… Broken?

“No,” I wanted to scream to him, to tell him I would never leave him, even if I do become successful, because he would have been my motivation to get me to that point. “Why would you ever think that? I am here to stay, Haz, regardless of where my future takes me,” I paused and brushed a few curls out of his face, my fingertips locking in the long locks. “Do you want to know something?”

He hesitated, his face hard and emotionless before it all melted away and I was face to face with Harry, and not the man he wants everyone else to see. “Yes,” his head nodded softly, and my fingers moved deeper into his hair.

“When I think of my future, no matter if I'm rich or poor, you are always there. My life, is now your life too, and without you, I just can't imagine what anything would be like,” I spoke softly --carefully, and allowed him time to process my words before I spoke again. “Now, tell me where you went and why you would ask me such ridiculous questions,”

He sighed deeply, and his body seemed to slump back against the car as he closed his eyes and let his head rest in my hand. “I just… I was thinking about your test scores and I just realized how stupidly smart you are today and I guess that I just… Started to worry. I'm not like you. I don't do well in school, I don't enjoy doing my homework or school work. What if you get tired of me? What if I'm not enough for you or that big brain of yours?”

“You are more than enough for me, Harry, and I don't know what I can do to make you realize that. I was smart when I got in this relationship, so why would I suddenly decide that you weren't enough for me after having been together for so long? You can't start doubting yourself, not when you have someone like me looking at you as if you're the man that could walk on water,” I was babbling, but I needed Harry to understand that he is everything I want, and more. There was never a day he didn't surprise me or keep me on my feet. Rather if it's with cooking, his generosity, his large heart, or even the fact that he helped me save a rabbit that was already dead. He was the man I could see myself with for the rest of my life.

Finally, finally, his lips lifted with a smile and his eyes sparked, a bright flame soon burning in those dark emerald eyes. “I love you,” he whispered so sincerely, and I felt my heart pick up speed. I knew he loved me, he proved that daily, but I still acted like such a fool when he actually said those three magical words that had my head spinning and left me breathless.

“I love you, Harry,” I said, hoping my words were just as sincere. I loved Harry Styles and his attitude. I loved how he stared at me with so much passion and love, while he stared at everyone else with ‘killing’ eyes. I loved it when he would cuddle close to me at night while he was sleeping, or how he was always so selfless. I hoped I could make him feel like he makes me feel. I want him to know that he is so much more than the schools bad ass… Because he is the man that climbed over my walls, killed the beasts that lived in my mind, and helped pull me together when I thought I was beyond saving.

He was truly my knight in shining armor.

“Now, why don't we go and get a hot cup of cocoa?” I asked him, watching as his lip twitched, a smile threatening to escape but he wouldn't let it. He was stubborn.

“What about the ACT test? You have to stu…” I silenced him with a kiss, my lips barely pressing against his.

“They can wait,” I said, my lips brushing over his. I loved how his arms felt when they wrapped around my body and pulled me closer. I always felt so safe in his arms, so protected, and I never doubted my safety when I was with him. Because I would bet my life that Harry would always protect me.

“Can I wear the sign?” He asked hopefully, eyes mirroring a childs that just asked his mum for a toy.

I rolled my eyes and pulled back, my eyes falling on the horrid sign. Even though I knew I shouldn't like it, my chest still felt warm. “Go ahead,”

Harry let out the most girlish squeal I have ever heard come from his mouth, and he quickly threw everything in the backseat of the car before he jumped in. “Are you coming?” He asked, head peeking out of the window.

“I'm coming, I'm coming,” I mumbled, though I stood in the snow for a few seconds longer, just admiring the man who owns my heart. I grinned into my hoodie as my thumb played with my ring, my heart full as I climbed into the car and listened as Harry serenaded me to every single song that played on the radio on our way to the cafe.

We pulled into the parking lot of the same cafe we went to after Harry had forced me to play in the snow. I glanced out in the window at the snow, remembering how confused I was that day, but how much fun I had. I may have been a Popsicle by the time we found warmth inside the small building, but I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't take that day back.

“Do you think Isabelle still works here?” I asked, unbuckling my seatbelt when the car came a full stop.

“God, I hope not. She tried too hard,” he said, shuddering in disgust as he climbed out of the car and walked to my side, waiting for me as I scrambled out of my seat. He closed the door behind me, his hand automatically resting on the small of my back as he led me to the door.

I giggled to myself. I didn't hear what they had talked about when we were here last time, but like Nicole, she definitely tried too hard with her fake nails and clumpy mascara. “Do you think there was anything natural about her?” I asked, my hands gesturing in front of my chest.

_You know, for boobies._

Harry rolled his eyes and opened the door for me, the strong smell of coffee wafting out of the small cafe and surrounding us in a bitter embrace. “Please, she's the stereotypical barbie doll. Small waist, big boobs, pretty makeup,” he said, his lips tipping downwards in an adorable smile.

“She's here,” I whispered harshly under my breath, my head jerking towards the right corner of the cafe, where she stood helping a customer. Harry eyed her in disgust, but didn't say anything as he drug me towards the counter.

The first thing the male behind the counter did was eye Harry's sign. He looked confused for a second, then smiled knowingly at him as his eyes darted to me for a second. “So, Mr. Einstein and Mr. Einstein, what can I get you today?” He asked, leaning on the glass top.

A piece of his long brown hair fell in front of his right eye, blocking the blue orb before he pushed it out of the way. “Uhm, just a second,” Harry said, eyeing the menu as I stayed staring at the other guy, who was staring at me.

He wasn't attractive in the slightest. He had crooked teeth, a large nose, a long face and a thin, lanky body. His steady gaze was beginning to make me uncomfortable. I could feel his eyes as they moved over my body. It was creepy, and I didn't like it at all.

“I want a cocoa,” I said up to Harry, finally moving my eyes away from the cashier. Harry didn't look down at me, but he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Go find us a table,” he mumbled, still completely oblivious to the creeper behind the counter.

Eager to get out of there, I stepped away from Harry and looked at all the empty tables, smiling when I seen the same booth we had set in last time, was empty. I quickly walked over to it and set on the same side, my legs crossing over each other as I glanced around my familiar, warm surroundings.

It hasn't changed at all since I was last here. I mean, not one bit. Everything was exactly the same, and I didn't know if that was by choice, or just because of laziness. Shrugging, I looked over at Harry and watched as he paid for our stuff before he made his way over to me.

I had noticed that the guy behind the counter looked pale now, and his eyes were no longer straying anywhere in my direction. “What did you say to him?” I asked as Harry sat down across from me. I tried to act annoyed, but I couldn't seem to muster up even the slightest bit of that emotion, no matter how deep I dug.

“Told him if he kept looking at what's mine, I'd rip his eyeballs out of his skull and make him watch as I kick his arse,” he said, shrugging like it was nothing.

I laughed quietly and shook my head. This, Harry threatening people, was not something new. I was used to it. “I thought you didn't notice,”

“Ha! Fuck you. It's hard not to notice when the wanker is undressing you with his eyes and fucking you in his mind. The pile of drool on the counter was a dead giveaway,” he said, glaring at me with his dark, brewing eyes. The look, while would scare most sane people away and make them shit their pants, made me giggle like a child and lean across the table so I could peck his nose.

“Calm down, Hazza. I'm only yours. Nobody else's,” I assured him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before I leaned back and sat in my seat.

Harry seemed to calm down some from my actions, and words, but his face didn't soften. “Better stay that way,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and I couldn't help but stare at his bulging biceps.

“Always,”

Satisfied with my answer, Harry relaxed in his seat and looked around us, just now taking in the cafe. “Not a bad place,” he mumbled, head tilting back so he could stare at the ceiling, that honestly was nothing special.

“Nice to see a familiar face,” a woman's voice purred as she stepped up behind Harry, and I felt my spin go straight and my body rigid. _Here we go again._

“Can't say the same,” Harry said, eyes glancing over every single person in here, except for me, before they came to rest on her. “I don't know who any of these people are,”

“I'm Isabelle! I helped you guys last time. You said you'd call, but you never did,” she said, but Harry shook his head, pointer finger rubbing his bottom finger.

“Nope, not ringing a bell,”

I seen her take in a deep breath, readying herself for a long speech or something to try and convince Harry that he knew her, but I didn't want to hear it, and somewhere deep inside of me, was a part that felt bad for the girl and wanted to put her out of her misery.

“Oh, Isabelle, she gave you the towel last time we were here, when you spilt hot cocoa on you,” I interjected, getting a side glare from Harry and a death glare from Isabelle.

“That's right, but _who_ are you?” Her head did a bob like thing, and her hip popped out as she placed her hand on it, her perfectly manicured nails tapping away.

 _His boyfriend, you chicken legged, fake ass bitch._ “Louis. I came here with Harry last time,”

“Hmm, I didn't notice you. You don't have a very rememorable face.”

 _At least my face isn't fake and full of lip injections and nasty ass chemicals._ “Well, sorry for that. And I'm sorry that my _boyfriend_ deleted your number from his phone. If I remember correctly, and my memory is never wrong, you are _not_ his type,” _you aren't packing the eight inches he's looking for._

“Can I get my coco?” Harry asked, clearly never having been taught not to butt into the middle of a bitch off.

She glared at him and scoffed before she spun around and stomped over to the counter, grabbing our tray. I could hear her mumble the entire time she was walking towards us, but I didn't say anything when she set it down, and Harry didn't either, thank god.

“Enjoy,” she hissed, splashing some of the coco on the table, but she didn't seem to care.

“We will,” Harry said, grinning as he grabbed his warm beverage and took a sip of it. A thin, white line was left on his upper lip from the coco, and I giggled loudly as his tongue tried to lick it all off.

“You're a dork,” I said, not being able to keep the fondness out of my voice. His eyes were crossed and his tongue was halfway out when he paused and looked at me, grinning as his finger dipped into his drink and he tapped the tip of my nose, leaving behind a blob of whipped cream that smelt like cinnamon.

I laughed and went to wipe it off, but a gentle hand wrapping around my wrist stopped me. “Leave it. We can be dorks together,”

So I did. And we were. Him with half of a mustache, and me with a blob. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY!!! I AM SO VERY SORRY! This update is wayyy later than I would have liked it to be, but I have been busy with work and other things. I wrote this chapter especially cute, though, to hopefully make up for it! Forgive me, please!?! Oh, a little secret I want to share with you... I wrote this chapter to Harry's album!!! It was blasting in my room! I am in love with it! My favorite would have to be Two Ghost's. What are yours? And from this day on, I promise I will try to get at least one chapter up a week. If not, then I will fully understand if you hate me! I won't be mad, I promise! haha. Alright! Onto the reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Much love, Xx

**Harry’s POV:**

I walked down the stairs, sighing quietly to myself as my palms rubbed every last trace of sleep from my eyes. It was nearly two in the morning and Louis hasn’t came to bed yet. I hadn’t cared for a while, knowing he was staying downstairs a little longer to study, but then I got this itching feeling to be _closer_ to him. Then the itch soon turned to a burn, and that wasn’t easily ignored, so here I was, standing in the doorway of the library (which had been completely forgotten until Louis bitched about having nowhere to study alone) in my boxers as I watched the small, sleeping boy. He was curled up in a ball on the chair, his head resting on the arm and a book laying on his chest. Papers littered the table in front of him, and hanging crookedly on his face was a pair of thick, black glasses.

_Oh Louis._

My heart swelled at the sight. How was it possible that the same boy I was head over heels in love with, still made me get such strong emotions at just the sight of him? Shaking my head, I quietly padded over to where he was and took the book off of him. He had moved on to Science. The last time I had been in here, he was on math, but I wasn’t shocked he read through it as quickly as he did. This boy catches on quickly, and could do something you’ve been doing your entire life, better than you in only a matter of hours.

I closed the thick book quietly and set it down on the wooden table, next to the papers. There was all sorts of things scribbled on the white lines, and the longer I stared, trying to decipher the gibberish he had wrote, the more the words seem to jumble and make no sense. The joke he had made earlier floated to my mind, and for whatever reason, I knew he was going to change this world, and possibly do great things, just as Albert Einstein had done.

Taking my time, I slipped one arm around his neck and the other under his knees. He stirred a little, but didn’t open his eyes until I hefted him up, his body cradled to my chest. I took notice on the fact that he had gained weight since the last time I held him like this, and I felt nothing but gratification. He had been too small, too skinny before, and now, he had a small pooch that I possibly loved more than anything else on his body.

“Wha zime ‘s it?” he asked sleepily, his head nuzzling against my arm.

“Don’t worry about that. Go back to sleep,” I whispered as I began to walk out of the library, leaving the lights on and the door open. Despite his weight gain, he was still easy to carry through the house and up the stairs to my room.

“Mmm,” he mumbled when I laid him down on the bed, his arms suddenly wrapping around my arm in a vine like grip. “Don’t leave. Sleep.”

 _I would, but I need to get you situated. You’re lying half on my side and half on your side._ I wanted to say that, but when I looked down at those droopy eyes that were staring back up at me, I felt myself cave in. Without moving his arms, I kneeled on the bed, then climbed over him. He let go of me long enough for him to turn on his side, then he was burying himself in my side. He laid his head on the crook of my arm, and one arm went over my torso while the other one was sandwiched beneath his body. His short legs were curled up and digging into my side, but I didn’t make him move or say anything.

Grabbing the blanket, that was already messed up from when I had been asleep, I pulled it over both of our bodies and made sure it was tucked around his back before I relaxed back against the mattress, my arm locking around his back. “Goodnight, my little genius,” I whispered to the quiet room before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. I grabbed his glasses, that had somehow made their way onto my chest, and put them on the night stand table.

With one last glance at him, I clapped my hand against my chest quietly and the lights turned off, enveloping the room in darkness. I didn’t have much time to think about anything before my mind was going blank, and the last image I seen was Louis asleep, his cheek squished, his mouth half open, and his little button nose wrinkled in the most adorable way.

~~~~

“Harry, love, you have to wake up for school,” a soft, gentle voice whispered to me as they shook my shoulder. I swatted their hand away and growled before rolling onto my side and wrapping my arms around Louis’ body. Even still deep in sleep, his body responded to mine and he turned onto his side, pressing his face against my chest.

His soft snores were slowly lulling me back to sleep, but then my shoulder was being shook again and small droplets of water pelted the side of my face. “I will rip off your arms, Gemma,” I growled, my voice thick with sleep. I moved my head down and let Louis’ feathery hair soak up the water.

I felt her hesitate, the bed behind my body bouncing slightly from her movement. “Rip em off, grouch-ass. Better that than what mum will do to both of us if you don’t get up,” she said, sending images through my mind that had my eyes snapping open. I knew my mom would be pissed, and I didn’t want any one of those sceneries to come to life, but I couldn’t will myself to let go of Louis.

His body is warm against mine, and when I lifted my head up slightly to look down, I seen how our bodies looked so perfect molded together like this. “I’ll be out in a second,” I sighed, letting my head fall back against the pillow. Gemma mumbled an ‘mhhm’, but didn’t say anything further before she left the room and closed the door behind her.

Out of habit, I nuzzled my head into Louis’ hair and inhaled deeply, my mind relaxing when the vanilla ocean breeze spread up my nose like a wildfire and clouded my lungs. Holding my breath in, I unwrapped my arms from around him and scooted back, my fingers brushing over the visible, silky skin on his back.

It was only six thirty in the morning, so I decided to let him sleep in a little longer before I woke up. Exhaling his scent as I walked into the bathroom, I stripped from my sparse clothing and climbed into the shower, my muscles relaxing the moment the warm water cascaded down my back.

I would stay in the shower all day if I could, but I wasn’t a big fan on wrinkly fingers and weird feeling skin. Quickly getting to it, I soaked my hair in water before I grabbed the bottle of shampoo and lathered it into my hair. I had forgot how good it felt to massage the shampoo into my hair, my fingernails scratching against my scalp.

I was lost in the feeling when I felt arms wrap around my waist and a body pressing flush against my back, a pair of chapped lips tracing my spine. “Good morning,” I murmured to Louis, ducking my head beneath the steady stream of warm water to rinse the shampoo out.

“I’m so tired,” Louis said around a yawn. He kissed my back one last time before he broke away, and I found myself missing him even though he was literally standing behind me.

“You need to go to bed early. Stop staying up so late to study,” I said, not intending to sound so commanding, but I did, and Louis didn’t say anything else.

When the shampoo was out, I stepped aside, allowing him access to the water, and watched as he stepped underneath it. My silent pleas to keep myself unaffected by Louis standing inches away from me, his body wet and his ass perfectly aligned with my dick, went unanswered when I felt myself start to grow hard.

The sight would forever be rooted in my brain. Water trickling down his back and pooling in the small curve above his ass before it disappeared between the two round, perfectly shaped cheeks. Blood rushed to my cock when Louis bent forward a little and I caught sight of his puckered hole, one that hasn’t been stretched for over a week.

I reached forward, the tips of my fingers burning to touch his body anywhere, but then he started to hum and he started to sway his hips and I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t let my dirty thoughts come in between him and his shower, not when it was the reason he was in a good mood this morning. Which is completely rare.

Coughing and quickly grabbing the conditioner, I lathered it into my hair and let it set while I grabbed a washcloth and squirted soap on it. The rough rag felt nice as I scrubbed it against my body, and it seemed to help me calm down because when I got to my legs, I no longer had a problem.

“Nice butt,” Louis giggled, a hand colliding with my right buttcheek. It stung, i’m not going to lie, but it also felt _really_ fucking good.

“Do it again,” I said, daring him to spank me again. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t want him to, that I didn’t want to feel his warm hand hitting against my bare flesh again, but I was silently hoping he did.

_And he did._

“It jiggle…” he began, but abruptly stopped when I grabbed his wrist and pulled him forward. The sound of wet flesh smacking against wet flesh was music in the room, but was nothing compared to the way Louis’ breath hitched in his throat when my nose ran along the length of his neck.

“I told you,” pause as my teeth scrape against his collarbone, “not to do it again.” I said, the last word coming out as almost a growl. My mouth moved up his neck a little and I began to suck on the smooth, tender flesh, revelling in every small noise he let out as I marked the clear skin. And then I was gone. I pulled back long enough to catch sight of his hooded eyes, then I was lost. I moved my hand to grip the back of his neck and, without being able to really control myself (not like I wanted to) I crushed our lips together.

When I shoved my tongue past his chapped lips, his small hands gripped my biceps tightly and my arm snaked around his waist to hold him up. I could feel his knees become weak and begin to wobble as I practically thrusted my tongue in his mouth, tasting nothing but the faint flavor of apple juice he had drank last night with dinner.

My hand trailed down his neck, along the curve of his spine, and then came to rest on one of his cheeks. Nothing more than that had to be done before Louis’ back was arching, pressing his ass back further into my hand. I laughed against his mouth, my stomach twisting in the most delicious way when he whimpered, “Harry…. Please.” _I instantly became rock hard._

“What do you want, Louis?” I asked him, my breath ghosting along his neck.

“Y-you. I want you to fuck me,” he whispered truthfully, his ass pressing back just a little more.

_And who was I to deny the princess when she made such a straightforward request?_

“The princess and her filthy mouth.” I teased him, shaking my head slightly as I laughed. But then I gave him what he wanted. Both my hands were suddenly grabbing his ass and I was spreading both of the globes far enough that I could fit my finger between them. The tip of my pointer finger lightly touched his tight, puckered hole, then I was shoving it in.

Louis’ body tensed against mine, but he didn’t ask me to stop. I worked my finger in and out of his hole, making sure it was stretched enough before I added a second. I knew that we were short on time, and that we had been in the shower for at least twenty minutes, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was too far in.

Noises, both sinful and innocent, floated around in the bathroom. I was beginning to think that he was trying to be quiet, but then I added the third finger and he was moaning at the top of his lungs, his entire body shaking as he thrust his hips backwards, making my fingers go deeper and deeper until I was brushing his prostate lightly.

I leaned down and kissed him, trying to silence him so nobody would come in and investigate what was going on. Slowly, with Louis still thrusting back on my fingers, I pushed him out of the shower, steering clear of the water because I didn’t want to get my hair wet and have conditioner running into my eyes, and shoved him against the closest wall.

“Be quiet and jump,” I said, though it came out as more of an order. He nodded silently and wrapped his arms around my neck, then jumped. I gripped underneath his legs tightly and pressed him against the wall so our chests were touching and his cock was throbbing between our bodies. Removing my fingers, and ignoring the pitiful noise Louis made, I lined myself up, but didn’t thrust in yet. “Look at me as I fuck you,”

His eyes snapped open just as thrust forward, bottoming out in seconds. Tight warmth was all I knew for three split seconds before everything came rushing back and I was pounding into him, his body sliding up the wall with every thrust. Still, with his head tipped back against the wall, his swimming eyes held mine.

He held onto me tightly, his back arching at just the right moments so I hit his sweet spot with each and every thrust. Pleasure shot through my body like lightning shot across the sky, and suddenly my body was on fire. “Let me hear you, Louis. Let me hear how good you feel while I fuck you,” I growled, and it was like a switch was being flipped on in his brain at the command because his lips parted and without missing a beat, he moaned louder than he has this entire time and slammed his ass down.

“Faster, Harry, harder,” he begged, our moans twining together as I picked up speed. It was rough Louis wanted, and a small part of me did too, but a bigger part of me had wanted to slow down, to take in each and every small movement Louis made and to cherish all his beautiful noises.

Strange for me, Harry Styles, to want slow sex, but I did. With Louis, that was all I wanted. Otherwise, it was over too quickly and I wouldn’t be able to hold him, to feel him as long as I had wanted to.

Closing my eyes, I tucked my head against Louis’ damp chest and breathed him in. My heart was beating wildly in my ears, and for a second, I swore I could hear Louis’ too, pounding in the same fast paced rhythm mine was.

Louis shoved my shoulders back and for one jagged, breathless moment, I thought he was asking me to stop. The hands on my shoulders pushed even harder, and when I pulled back to ask if he wanted down, desperate lips were pressed against mine in a heated kiss. All the air left my lungs and this moment became so clear to me. Everything from the feel of Louis’ weight in my palms and his body clenched around my cock and his lips moving against mine, to the heavy scent of vanilla and mint swirling around us, tethering us in more ways than just physically.

Breathing in the crystal clear air, I pulled back from the kiss and whispered the words my heart was chanting. “I love you,” _and i’m close._

Catching his pinky with mine, Louis smiled broadly up and me, looking more beautiful and radiant than I have ever seen him, before he responded. “I love you, Hazza”

Without warning, both of our bodies tense and our pinkies stay intertwined as we come together, leaving us breathless and spellbound by the pleasure.

A promise neither of us plan on breaking keep us together as one, even when we break apart to clean up and finish our shower.

A promise that means through this all, no matter what comes our way or what happens, we will always _love each other._

Thirty minutes later, we were pulling into the parking lot to the school, Louis rambling about how good breakfast was, and how I should have tried it. I didn’t regret giving up the ‘omelette with red and green peppers, onions, turkey bacon and a sprinkle of cheese’. It not only looked disgusting, and had fake bacon in it (which shouldn’t even fucking exist) but it also had this gross, healthy smell to it.

I had sugary, fattening, delicious froot loops for breakfast. _No regrets here._

“Can we go shopping tonight? I need to get some things,” Louis asked as he climbed out of the car, not giving me the chance to respond before he was standing by my door, his hand on his popped out hip.

“What kind of things?” I asked, leaning over the console between the seats to grab my backpack out of the back. My ass cheek hurt a little, but I wasn’t complaining. Louis would be uncomfortable the entire day.

“I don’t know… Um… Toothbrush, underwear, cat food. Just, you know, necessary things,”

I climbed out of the car and locked it, my dimples making an appearance when I turned to face Louis. “Can I buy you panties?” at the question, he swatted my chest, gasped, and flushed before turning a bright red color. “Please? They’ll be pretty,”

I could see him debating it while his face was still twisted in embarrassment. His lip slipped between his teeth, and I was suddenly leaning forward, brushing the abused piece of flesh away and keeping my thumb pressed firmly, but softly, on it. “We’ll see,” he breathed out, and I seen blue eyes flicker to met mine before he pulled away and fixed his (my) jean jacket.

There's no use in fighting over it anymore, really. He's taken it over.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, reaching his hand out to grab mine with a shy smiled hidden behind the jacket. I grabbed his hand and together, we began to walk to towards the doors to the school.

Walking through these doors when I had first got here, felt so different then how it felt right now. Before, I was angry at everyone. I didn’t want to go to yet another school and have to deal with all these people flocking around me before they realized I was a prick. I had planned on kicking someone's ass (worse than the few people I did) and doing whatever I could to get kicked out of this bloody school. But now, it felt like I had a purpose as I walked down the hallways.

I now have a person to take care of, even if he denies it. I could do things at this school I had never thought possible, like not busting a jackasses face for looking at me the wrong way, but rather helping Louis help students. I didn’t need to make anyone fear me, because nobody else mattered but the boy I was walking next to right now, the boy who I had planned on fucking, ruining, and leaving, but now plan on sticking around and watch as he crawls out of the fucking hole his mother has shoved him into.

“My ass hurts,” Louis murmured, and I laughed as that thought pierced my train of thought. Yeah, that would be the same boy who months ago would have kept that small secret to himself, but now would announce it in the middle of a crowded hallway. When I looked down at him, I could see he didn’t care anymore. He was only focused on me, as I was on him.

~~~~

A basket hooked on my arm, I followed after Louis, my teeth digging into the skin on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from laughing as he hopped, skipped, and practically ran down the hallways when he seen something he liked.

“What about this, Harry? Can we get this?” He looked hopefully up at me as he held the small stuffed frog.

“Put it in,”

“Oh, and I need this,” he said, and I didn’t question why he needed a box full of kinetic sand that he placed on top of the cat food in the basket. He was in charge of shopping today, and he could get whatever he wanted. Hell, it’s about time my credit card got some action.

Keeping the frog tucked safely underneath his arm, Louis wandered down another aisle and reappeared in seconds, holding a green vibrating tooth brush in one hand, and a tube of toothpaste in the other. “Basket,”

He threw them in, then disappeared down the shower isle. I followed him, my eyes roaming over the various fluffy shower ball things, shampoos, conditioners, body wash, etc. I grabbed two of the fluffy balls, one multi colored and the other yellow, and threw them in the small basket, as well as some weird vanilla body wash that I knew Louis would love, and a pack of razors.

Louis put in some deodorant, shampoo and conditioner (that were in green bottles, and had flowers on them) and a small rubber ducky. “What next?” I asked, moving the basket a little so it was no longer digging into my arm.

He looked around to make sure nobody was listening, then leaned forward and hissed “Panties” under his breath, then scurried out of the aisle and towards the woman's clothing section. I rolled my eyes and followed after him, ignoring the wave of pleasure that washed over my body when I seen him pick up a pair of blacky panties with white polka dots.

I have never been one that liked womens underwear. I thought that they were ugly and were absolutely terrible at concealing things, but the thought of seeing Louis in some was doing things to me. “Put them in,” I said, setting the basket by my feet before I leaned over the bin and grabbed a pink of lacy panties that had a small white bow on the front of them. I shrugged and threw them in the basket, knowing they would look good on him.

“How the hell will those hold anything in?” Louis asked when I picked up another pair, only these were more of a thong and had a very tiny front.

“Calm down, i’m not getting them,” I lied. I thought they would look good on him, but apparently my taste in panties didn’t matter.

Not that either of us cared, anyway. I ended up choosing five more pairs while Louis only grabbed a pair of mint green ones that were simple. “That’s enough,” Louis said, pulling my hand away from a purple pair.

The hell it was. I wanted a drawer full of these, but I was lucky I had even got him to agree to the few I had got. I had to promise to try on a pair of his choice before he would wear any of them, so I could only imagine what I would have to do to get him to agree to a drawer full. “Alright, are we done?” I picked the basket back up, making sure the underwear were tucked away so they wouldn’t fall out.

“I think so,” he hummed to himself as we began to walk. “Wait, I forgot body wash,”

I dug into the basket and waved the tannish colored bottle at him, and his eyebrows shot up. “Vanilla scented.” I informed him, placing the bottle back in the basket.

“Razors?”

“Got em”

“So, we have everything?” he asked, his brows furrowing and forming a small ‘v’ between them.

I nodded and brushed my thumb lightly over his brows, the ‘v’ slowly disappearing. “If not, then we can always come back,” I grabbed his hand and we began to walk. “Now, let's go get something to eat,”

He patted his stomach, as if just now realizing that he was hungry, and nodded.

We walked to an empty check out stand and I put everything on the black belt, noticing how Louis was hiding his bright red face behind the sleeve of his jacket, and pulled out my card. The woman, who had mid-length brown hair and warm brown eyes, began to ring us up, her hand hesitating when she went to reach for the underwear.

She looked up at me curiously for a second, then glanced behind me at Louis. “Yeah, yeah, we’re both males. Ring up the damn underwear so we can leave,” I sighed in frustration and shoved my hands into my pockets.

Bowing her head in embarrassment, she quickly finished. “Is that everything for you today, sir?” she asked, voice muffled and head still bowed.

Rolling my eyes, I swiped my card and punched the four digit code into the tiny keyboard. “Yup,” it was a short, clipped answer and she seemed to get the hint that I wanted to leave because she ripped off the receipt, shoved it into one of the bags and handed me the four plastic baggies.

“Have a nice day,” she yelled after us, her eyes staying locked on Louis.

“You too,” he said with a nod of his head. I refrained from rolling my eyes yet again and pulled Louis out of the store and to the car, but stopped when he began to tug on my hand. “Can we go there?” he asked in a hush voice, eyes pinned on the fast food place across the street from us.

_McDonald’s_

I hated this place. Not because of the food, but because of the pricks that work here. I’ve only been to this McDonald’s once since I moved here, and I vowed I would never go again. Until today. “Sure. Drive through or are we walking in?”

“Can we walk in? Please? I wanna play on the playground,” he asked, hands clasped in front of him as he silently begged me.

“Fine,” I threw the bags into the car and locked the doors.

“Can I get a piggy back? My wittle wegs are tiwed,” Louis said in baby talk, his bottom lip jutting out.

What is with him and this childish side I get to see when we are out in public. Not complaining though, because it’s an excuse to have Louis clinging to me in public, I turned around and remember not to crouch. “Climb aboard,”

Several seconds later a small body was hitting against my back and legs were wrapping around my waist, clasping tightly over my stomach with his heels crossed. Stumbling the first few steps from the loss of balance, Louis squealed “Don’t drop me! I’ll splatter on the sidewalk,” luckily for him, I moved past the drunk stage and was able to walk a straight line across the street and into the crowded McDonald’s lobby.

“Stay,” I growled up to Louis when he tried to hope down. I grabbed below his knees and held his legs in place. People were giving us strange looks and I seen a few teenage boys, that were at least three years younger than me and Louis, pointing and laughing.

Burying his head in the crook of his arm, he tightened his grip around my neck. “They’re laughing,”

“Won’t be when I throw a table at them,” I growled, glaring at the three boys who flipped me off.

“I can help whoever is next,” a male said, his multi-colored hair sticking up in a mohawk. _Yummy. Rainbow hamburgers._

Stepping up to the counter, Louis tugged at my shirt and made me turn my head to the side so his lips were pressed against my ear. “Can I order whatever I want?” he asked, his breath tickling my ear and making goosebumps rise on my skin. I nodded, keeping my head turned towards him even when he pulled away. “Okay, I want a chocolate milkshake, extra whipped cream, a twenty piece chicken nugget, a large fry and a…” pausing, he looked at the menu, his blue eyes scrunching as he struggled to see the small print.”Uhm, a apple pie and a pepsi,” the entire time he was ordering his fingers were twirling strands of my hair and his foot kept rubbing against the top of my thigh, signs that he was nervous.

I was proud, and amazed. _He had never eaten that much._

When the guy put all that into the machine, he looked at me and it took me a few seconds, and very awkward eye contact, before I realized he wanted my order too. “Uhm, just double that order. I want two of everything,” I said, clearing my throat and moving my eyes away from him. I really didn’t want all of that, but I panicked for a small second and just said whatever came to mind.

Then again, none of that sounded bad at all.

He doubled everything, then gave me my total. I struggled to reach my back pocket, because I didn’t want to drop Louis, but I finally pulled my wallet free and swiped my card. “You’re order will be ready in a few minutes. We’ll call your number,” he said, handing me the receipt with three big, black numbers on top.

_246_

“Time to go play?” Louis asked, jumping slightly though to bystanders, it looked like he was humping my back.

Grinning, I walked into the play area (that was thankfully empty) and set him down on his feet. “Time to play.” the moment he was off of me, I ran towards the stairs and began to climb them. It was really fucking difficult to do because of my height, and by the time I reached the top I had to crouch down so my knees were hitting my chin, but the giggles I heard following me, made it worth it.

“I’m going to get you!” he yelled at me as I crossed the wobbling bridge and ran towards the purple slide that had three different paths you could take once you were in it.

“You catch me and I’ll let Zoey sleep with us tonight!” I yelled back and slid into the slide as fast as I could, then used my forearms to drag me. Instead of taking the first opening I was offered, like Louis would expect, I took the second one and slid down, falling into another level of the playground that had small punching bags and black netting to keep you from falling over the edge, even though there was a ball pit below it.

I walked over the black floor that had holes in it, pushed my way past the punching bags that had ronald McDonald on it, and made my way to a red rock-climbing wall thing. It was easy to get a grip and pull myself up, but when I reached the top, I had to bend my body in half to fit through the tiny ass opening. _This place was not made for anyone above three feet._

“HARRY! I SEE YOU!” I heard a voice yell behind me, sounding so close yet so far away. I looked over my shoulder and seen he was staring at me from the small bubble window there was in the purple slide “Which one did you take!?! The first one led to nothing!” Grinning, I stood up and walked across the black floor, towards the red slide that led to part of the ballpit.

“Meet you in the ballpit!” I hollered, smirking at the place I had last seen him, but he wasn’t there. I watched the opening to the purple slide that I had came from, but a sudden flash of brown below me caught my attention. “Fuck!” I squealed (I would never admit that to another living person) and sat down at the opening of the red slide.

Louis was trying to climb the rock-wall, but his short legs weren’t cooperating. “Help me!” he pleaded, and I was honestly debating it until I seen that dark gleam he had in his eyes.

“You’re beyond even professional help!” with that, I pushed myself forward and twirled down into darkness. I had to lay down flat, that being the only way I would fit, and watched as streams of light appeared with every crack I went over.

“I’m coming!” Louis yelled, his voice echoing in the slide, meaning he was at the top of it. Seconds later I was being deposited into a hard bed of balls. One of the damn things came up and smacked me in the middle of the face when I began to scramble towards the other side of the pit, in the direction of safety.

People were staring at me and Louis through the glass windows in the lobby, and the only logical thing I could think of doing was sticking my tongue out before I rolled onto my back and began to wiggle. The balls began to move and I began to sink into them, but not quick enough because I felt a ball hit my right shoulder, followed by another.

“Blue balls! Take your blue balls home!” Louis laughed like a maniac and took cover behind the side of the slide, his eyes peeking above it.

I sat up, balls falling off of my body and bouncing off of the others, and smiled at him. Picking up a ball, I brought my arm back and was about to throw it, but I heard a loud voice over the speakers that called my number. _Damn it, I was having fun._

Frowning, I dropped the ball and gestured for Louis to sit down at an empty booth, then I climbed out and walked towards the counter. “Sir,” a hand shot out and grabbed the edge of my tray, stopping me from taking it, “you do know that the playground is for children, right?”

“Guess I’m a child today,” I remarked, grinning widely at him before I ripped my tray out of his grasp and made my way back to Louis, who was now sitting in the booth. “Food,” I said when I dropped the tray on the table, and he didn’t give me time to even sit down before he was grabbing at a milkshake.

“Dessert first,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. Brushing off my stern look, he shoved a straw into the milkshake and took a large sip of it, his eyes practically rolling back into his skull. “It’s sooo good,” he moaned, greedily taking another sip.

I chuckled and grabbed a few fries off the tray and popped them into my mouth. Doing the exact thing that I love most about him, Louis began to ramble about nonsense as we ate our meal. He didn’t give me a chance to get even a word in before he was changing the topic to a completely different one. So I just sat back and listened, occasionally nodding my head when needed, but I just watched him.

Something I have found myself doing a lot lately.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gets annoyed, and jealous for a second, but then swoops in and helps calm down a panicking Louis with his usual nonsense that makes little to no sense, but is always sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLER!!! How are all you lovely people tonight?? I realized that I was wayyy late on updating (damn my job) so I quickly sat down and wrote this chapter. I've already started to work on chapter 5, so you should expect that one within the next few days. Also, I would like to add that this chapter is definitely not my best. It is a little rushed (because I wanted to update asap for you guys) but it has someone I think you will all like in it! I won't say who, though. He may or may not become a major character... I have yet to decide. Well, anyway, I will let you guys get to reading! And I promise next chapter will be much better.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> Xx

Harry sat at his usual spot in the overcrowded lunchroom. People were chattering all around him, but his attention was focused on his plate of pizza solely…. Until _he_ walked in. It was a small boy, though he was slightly larger than Louis in both height and weight (and that’s saying something because Louis is tiny) and Harry found his interest in the boy spiking when blue eyes fell on him and he began to walk towards him.

The boy must be new, or he just hadn’t heard that nobody fucked with Harry period. That, or he just didn’t give two fucks. “What do you want?” Harry snapped when the blonde lad reached the table, his fingers fumbling in front of him and his eyes wide with fear, though it wasn’t as enduring as it was when Louis did it.

“H-Harry..” _Fan-fucking-tastic. He was already stumbling over his words. He got his name right, though, so props to him._ “Is your name Harry?”

Que the annoyed sigh and eye roll. Harry had become convinced years ago that was his way of trying to find his brain (which he still hasn’t found). “If it’s not, then i’ve been living under a false identity for almost eighteen years,”

Doing exactly what Harry wanted, the boy blushed and squirmed under his gaze, his hands gripping the edge of his shirt tightly, desperately. “Was there a point to this, or are you just going to stand their like a speechless fool trying to wring the sweat out of his shirt?” his eyebrow cocked and he grinned cockily when he _heard_ the fake blonde gulp _loudly._

_Yup. He’s bored already._

“You have five seconds to speak before I throw you in that garbage can,” The threat was real. There wasn’t one hint of joking in his voice, nor did his features read anything but annoyance with a hint of anger.

_What? Did you forget who big bad Harry Styles was? He was still deep inside the curly haired lad, he just rarely made an appearance now. Thanks to Louis and his damn spell he had over Harry. Still, Harry was a (almost) heartless bastard. It grew a few sizes, but he never let anyone see it except for his boy._

_Louis._ “Uhm, yeah,” _Maybe he should take it easy on the kid._ “I-I just need..” He sat down at the table, his knee hitting underneath it which sent Harry’s chocolate milk spilling over the side of his tray and down his pants. _FUCK THAT!!!!_ “I-I’m so s-sorry! Here.” He tried to offer Harry a paper towel, but the brown haired asshole didn’t take it.

Harry gritted his teeth together tightly, his eyes flashing red for a second as the cold milk seeped into his pants. He opened his mouth to bark some rude thing to the kid, or at least give him a three second warning, but then the kid had to open his damn mouth again. “Louis a-asked me to ask y-you if you’d go get him s-something to eat,”

He froze, fists clenched at his sides, and inhaled deeply through his nose. “Did he say what he wanted?” he asked, followed by deep, loud inhale of breaths to try and maintain his calmness. He hasn’t had a release for a long while. In fact, the last time he can remember kicking someone's ass was that ugly ass, cocky jock after he beat the shit out of Louis. He can remember the way it felt when his fist connected with his--

“H-He want’s chinese.” fishing into his bag, the blonde pulled out a crumbled piece of paper and handed it to Harry. “He gave me a list.” the blonde sounded absolutely terrified, the fear was practically seeping out of every pore on his body.

That left Harry satisfied, and managed to get him to calm down to a somewhat manageable level. At least people were still afraid of him. Harry glanced down at the paper, a soft smile tugging at his lips when he seen all the food on the list-- all the food he knew Louis would no doubt finish by the end of the day.

Biting his lip quickly, and suppressing the smile because he didn’t want to give the kid the wrong idea, he looked up at him and nodded. “How’s he doing on the test?” Harry asked, genuinely curious. He hasn’t been able to see Louis since second period because Jen, much to Harry’s disapproval, promised him that if he missed one period today, she would call the school security and have him escorted to the principal's office. He wasn't much help to Louis there, so he sucked up his annoyance towards the woman and has went to every single period. Paid attention during them is a totally different story, though.

At this, Harry noticed the kids eyes light up and a smile break through the frown he had previously thought was permanently etched into his features. “He is so smart! I have never seen someone whiz through the act test as fast as he has!” he gushed, a look of admiration taking over his face.

 _Mine._ Harry thought. _He’s mine, fuckface, so cool your jets and do me a favor and shove your foot up your ass so I don’t have to._ “Tone it down there, loverboy. He’s taken.” Harry tried to keep the irritation out of his voice, but shocker, he failed.

A soft blush tinted the over excited boys face and he ducked his head. “Sorry,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with Harry at all cost.

Rolling his eyes again, Harry shoved his tray to the middle of the table (not planning on throwing away his uneaten food) and stood up. He tried his best to ignore how uncomfortable it was to have his wet jeans rub against his thighs. He had made it to the double doors at the end of the lunchroom when he felt someone behind him, far too close for his comfort.

Spinning around, and miraculously missing the small body that was literal inches away from him, Harry inhaled his green apple scent and automatically took a step back. He smelt _wrong._ “What do you want now?” Harry growled, over trying to play nice.

“I-I actually wanted to see if I could come with you,” he admitted sheepishly, the red still coloring his cheeks. “To get something to eat. I would go myself but I don’t have a car and the food here is gross and my mum…” Harry held up his hand, silencing the ramblin kid.

He could handle the awkwardness the kid was radiating, and he could endure his overly powerful scent, but he _could not_ listen to him talk any longer. “Keep your mouth shut and you got a deal,”

Looking taken aback by Harry’s rudeness, he lifted both eyebrows and exhaled slowly. “You don’t have to be so..” he cut off, deciding not to finish his sentence when he seen the hostile look that suddenly appeared on Harry’s face. “Nevermind. Sorry.”

Not saying anything, Harry spun around and made his way through the hallways, all too aware of the boy behind him running to keep up with him. It reminded him of Louis and his short ass legs, and despite the little devil sitting on his shoulder, telling him to go faster and jump in his car so he could leave the annoying twat behind, he slowed down his pace and shot a glare at the smug looking angel sitting on his shoulder.

“Holy shit, you walk fast,” he said, and Harry literally just realized that he was irish. How he has missed that fact until now was completely unknown to him.

“You walk slow,” Harry shot back, walking towards his beautiful, beautiful car. A smile instantly appeared on his face when he climbed into the driver seat and due to the sudden movement, the air around him shifted and the familiar vanilla scent stirred alive and wafted around the car, settling a comforting blanket over his shoulders.

He shoved the key into the ignition and the car roared to life. “When you ask for a ride, that usually requires getting into the person's car,” Harry said when he rolled down his window, his eyes watching the naturally brown headed boy that was standing in front of his car.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, quickly scurrying to the passenger side of the car and climbing in. The moment the door was closed the air around hair was disturbed and the vanilla scent disappeared and was replaced with green apple. _Calm down._ He whispered to himself. _He’ll be gone soon._

“You apologize way too much,” Harry said, his foot pressing down on the gas pedal. It was annoying, honestly. Louis had long passed the stage for apologizing for every small thing he did, and Harry hasn’t has much human interaction around his boyfriend, so it would once again take some getting used to.

“So-” biting his lip to hold back the response that was nearly always dancing on his lips, he swallowed thickly and turned to look at Harry. “I’m really fucking nervous. This is my first day here and I haven’t exactly been welcome with open arms because I’m a fucking weirdo,” Harry couldn't help but laugh at how serious he looked when he said weirdo. “And the only person that has talked to me is Louis and the teacher and I’m just…” pausing the inhale deeply, the noise grinding on Harry’s nerves, the boy leaned down and grabbed something out of his bag. “I’m sorry to ask this, but can I smoke in your car? If not, i’ll totally understand I just really need a ciggy and…”

“Dude, if it gets you to stop talking, have as many cigarettes as you want,” Harry’s mind was spinning as he tried to digest every word the kid just uttered. He went from talking about this being his first day and that he was nervous, to how he was a weirdo that nobody talked to, to asking for a cigarette. He changed subjects faster than Gemma did.

Sighing in relief, Harry watched out of the corner of his eye and the kid rolled down the window. “What’s your name?” he asked, focusing on the road when blondie pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

A few beats of silence passed, the only thing to be heard was the wind whistling through the windows, the pure of the engine, and the cigarette burning and turning his lungs black. “Niall,” he finally answered, his head tilted towards the window so he could blow the smoke out.

Not really knowing what to say, Harry just nodded and continued driving. A few seconds later, an arm was nudging his and a cigarette was waved in front of his face. “Want some?” Niall asked, his nerves finally relaxing from the nicotine which allowed him to actually be able comfortable enough to talk to Harry without rambling, fidgeting or stuttering.

Harry hasn’t smoked cigarettes much before. He was more keen on smoking the green, but he did smoke the killing sticks every once in awhile. Shrugging, and figuring why not, he took the white stick between his fingers and inhaled, the smoke clouding his cheeks before he inhaled it.

His first reaction was to cough, but he held back the urge for a second, then two, and he was able to exhale without being a little bitch. The two smoked the rest of the cigarette and by the time they reached the restaurant, Niall was flicking the butt out the window.

“So, Harry, how long have you been dating Louis?” Niall asked innocently, just trying to make conversation while they waited in the short line.

Casting a questioning look at Niall, Harry rubbed his chin and thought back to how long they _had_ been dating, but he couldn’t think of the exact date. “Almost a year,” he answered, moving forward along with the line. “I met him like a 14 months ago,” he added as an afterthought, trying to cover up the fact that he didn’t know their anniversary was actually really bothering him.

Niall hummed and looked up at the menu. “When did you propose to him?” all the questions he was asking were innocent, but they didn’t seem like it to Harry.

Harry stopped the conversation long enough for to order everything off Louis’ list (without actually pulling out the paper), and then some for him and just a little extra. “It’s a promise ring, but Christmas Eve,” Harry answered without so much as a thought. Pinning his accusing eyes on Niall, Harry pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. “ _Why_ do you care so much?”

Niall laughed and shook his head. “Whatever you’re thinking there, big dog, is wrong. I have a boyfriend.” holding up his hand, Niall waved his fourth finger and it was just then that Harry noticed the plan silver band on his finger. “It’s a promise ring,” Niall clarified, his eyes going soft and mushy. “He gave it to me on my birthday last year,” he breathed, voice dripping with love and fondness.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable and a little embarrassed, Harry quickly changed the subject. “Were you going to add anything to the order orrr?” he shifted his weight back and forth on his feet, eyes moving from Niall, to the angry looking chinese lady behind the counter, back to Niall.

“I was going to do a…”

“Just get on with it and order something,” Harry growled, fingers raking through his messy mop of curls. He looked down at the ring on his ring finger and smiled. It was a silver ring that opened out into a rose. Louis chose it a few days after he gave him his, and he specifically requested this one because of the rose tattoo on Harry’s arm. The tattoo didn’t have much meaning (yet), but Harry wasn’t going to fight with him. He loved the ring, and he promised himself the day he put it on that he would never take it off.

After being drug out of his thoughts by the woman giving him his total, Harry paid then took a seat at one of the empty booths, Niall following right behind him. “So, why do you act like you have a permanent stick shoved up your ass?” Niall asked, sitting down across from Harry.

Where the hell did the bumbling, stuttering idiot go? “Because annoying fuckfaces like yourself try to talk to me and I don’t like talking,” Harry said with a frown and all. He was completely serious, and it took Niall a few seconds for him to realize that.

“Ohh. You aren’t social,” he said slowly, as if the words were a foreign language he was trying to learn. “Well, why the fock (fuck) not? You are hot, you obviously know how to talk, and you are somewhat interesting.”

“I. Don’t. Like. Talking. To. People. Because. They. Make. Me. Want. To. Punch. Something… Teenagers. Are. Idiots. Who. Don’t. Know. Proper. English.” Harry growled, emphasizing every single word hoping that then they would sink in.

“You’re weird,” Niall mumbled, but then quickly agreed on the fact that teenagers are ‘dummies’ and could use a dictionary or two to the face.

“Oh my god,” Harry mouthed to the ceiling, sending a silent prayer to whoever the fuck was listening that a bolt of lightning would come through the ceiling and kill him so he didn’t have to listen to Niall any longer.

When his name was finally called and Harry was able to leave the table, he couldn’t have been any happier. The forks on the table had actually tempted him to shove them in his ears so he could finally get some peace and quiet.

Grabbing the three bags full of food, Harry shoved some fortune cookies and chopsticks into a random bag then all but ran out the door. “I swear to god, you say one more word and you are riding on my roof,” Harry growled as soon as they sat down in the car, the food sitting in the backseat.

“I don’t see what Louis sees in you. You’re like the grumpy old man that chases children off his lawn,” snorting, Niall punched Harry’s arm in a playful way (though it had red lights flashing in Harry’s mind) and said the last thing Harry expected. “That’s a lie! The old man would make better company.”

Niall laughed and Harry imagined thirteen different ways he could get Niall to shut up for good. One involved shoving him in his trunk, and a more idealistic one involved Niall’s foot shoved down his throat.

“One more word,” Harry warned him, and something in his tone must have made Niall realize he wasn’t kidding because he kept quiet the rest of the ride.

But the peaceful quietness was pierced the moment they stepped inside the school. Niall began rambling about how chinese restaurant always skimped on chicken and how he should get a lot more for the price he pays. “Dear god, Louis, make it shut up!” was the first thing Harry said when they walked into Jen’s classroom.

The sound of someone giggling floated in the air and twirled around the room, making every single muscle in Harry’s body relax on their own accord. “Aw, come on Hazza, Niall isn't that bad,” and finally, finally, Louis walked out of one of the small rooms in Jen’s class and came to stand in front of Harry, his eyes bright. “Be nice,” he mouthed, pecking Harry on the cheek before he grabbed the bags and immediately began to take everything out of the bags and set them on the table.

Mimicking Louis, after he made sure the boy wasn’t looking, Harry huffed and sat down in a chair, looking like a little kid who got told he couldn’t have icecream for dinner. “Are you finished with your test yet?” he asked, taking the styrofoam box from Louis that had his sesame chicken and lo mein in it.

Louis didn’t answer until he made sure Niall and Harry had their food and everything else was set out. “Yup.. I finished just before you came,” he breathed quietly, keeping his eyes hidden from Harry because he knew the moment his boyfriend was able to look at him properly, he would be able to read Louis like an open book.

The doubt, fear, insecurity, and overall worry that he had failed would all be things Harry would pick up instantly. “Louis,” Harry said, and he didn’t need to say anything else. Louis knew what Harry wanted just by the way he said his name, and despite his heart picking up speed and his hands shaking at his sides, he gave into him and looked up.

“What if I failed?” His voice was so painfully quiet and sounded so full of fear, that not even Harry could stop his heart from stopping in his chest.

Louis, literally the smartest person Harry knows, was doubting himself over a test he could pass in his sleep. No. This will not work. Acknowledging Niall for a split second, who just smiled around a mouthful of shrimp, Harry leaned over and pulled Louis chair closer to his. When their knees brushed, jolts of electricity shot through Harry’s leg and his entire body awakened.

“I can’t fail, Harry. So much is at stake here and if I failed a test as simple as this one, imagine how many tests i’ll flunk in college,” it almost sounded like Louis was whining, but not quite. He was worried about so many things that, even if he was whining, nobody here would ever ask why. His eyelashes fluttered in a way that could only be described as enchanting, even in a moment like this.

“You won’t fail,” Harry promised, and it was one he knew would never be broken. When Louis gave him a look, as if he was asking ‘How the fuck could you possibly know that,’ Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Remember when Robin left his folder on the table? The one that was full of all that shit for his company about expanding and possibly buying a building and a bunch of other boring shit?” Louis nodded and slipped his lip between his teeth, his eyes focused on Harry to show him he was giving him his undivided attention. “You organized it, then finished every single paper in that folder. You, a teenager, did the job of a CEO, better than the damn CEO ever could. You helped Robin expand his company and figure out a bunch of other stupid shit that he had been thinking over for months.”

When Harry seen the ‘v’ formed between Louis’ eyebrows, he sighed and palmed at his eyes. How the fuck could he explain this that would actually make Louis beleive he was smart? He just wish that right now, he could make Louis believe in himself like Harry believed in him. “Okay, what I’m trying to say, I guess, is that you were smart enough to do the work a grown man, who has been doing the job longer than you have been alive. An ACT, next to that, is so small and insignificant that I _know_ you passed it. You are so damn smart, Louis, and when you get these test scores back, I hope to fucking god that you know I am hanging it up on our wall in a picture frame.”

Louis giggled and leaned into Harry’s body, his arms wrapping around his waist. “Thank you, Hazza,” he whispered, nose digging into Harry’s chest before he pulled back and kissed him on the lips.

“I’m really focking confused,” Niall said, his eyebrows crunched together. “That was sweet, Harry, but I only caught onto half of what you were saying,” he waved his fork full of food around the room, then pointed it directly and Harry and asked in a serious voice. “Is this why you don’t talk? Is it hard for you to form sentences longer than a few words?”

_Blondie wasn't able to react in time to dodge the book that was suddenly thrown at him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Niall.... What do you guys think? Is he a keeper? Haha. This chapter is shorter than all my other ones, and I'm sorry about that, but I figured a short chapter was better than no chapter.
> 
> Oh, and by the way, I decided I was going to do a random fact about myself each chapter, just so you guys can get to know me a little better. 
> 
> Random fact #1: When I was younger I was in a dancing class (and I was pretty good), but ended up quitting because I realized girls were way too much drama. I still dance, though it is in the comfort of my own home. XD
> 
> First fact wasn't very interesting. I'm sorry. Haha. I'm not a very interesting person.
> 
> Edit: There is a lot of mistakes in this chapter. I usually read through and fix the ones I see, but I didn't have time to tonight. Tomorrow I'll try and get on and fix them, though. And just so y'all know, I don't have a beta, so any errors I make are on me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia, lovelies! How are you doing this fine morning? I am doing great today, and I am pleased to not only bring you this chapter, but to let ya'll know I have chapters 6-8 finished! I have been in a writing mood lately, don't ask me why, and I have been spewing out chapters like crazy. Haha. This chapter is a kind of a filler, unfortunately, but the next few chapters (which you should be expecting soon) will make up for it. They're full of drama and all that good crap, I promise. XD 
> 
> Well, I guess I should let you guys get to reading, yeah?
> 
> Much love, Xx
> 
> Note: Obviously this story doesn't really follow either of the characters actual lives at all, and I would like to let ya'll know I didn't change the name of his younger brother because I don't like his name. None of his other siblings are in the story except for Lottie, so I didn't want to add Ernest. And before you ask, Daniel Deakin will not be a part of this story. Don't ask me why, he just won't.

Louis stood in front of the double glass doors that opened with every step forward he took. His throat was dry and his stomach had twisted itself into knots the moment he had got the phone call from Lottie. He wanted to walk into that hospital, but at the same time he wanted to turn around and run home and hide under his bed, where he could pretend none of this was happening.

His hands shook at his sides and his vision kept on going blurry the longer he stared at the woman sitting behind the counter. _He could do this,_ he thought, _all I need to do it put one foot in front of the other. I just need to.. Go._ But he couldn’t _go._ He was frozen in place, stuck in an emotional turmoil that left him confused and dizzy.

“Come on, you can do this,” and encouraging voice said next to him, sounding so far away yet so close. A warm hand closed around his and his entire body jolted forward as if it was an instinct. One foot fell in front of the other, and his eyes grew blurrier the closer the doors came.

“What if she doesn’t want to see me?” he asked quietly. What if the woman sitting up in that room didn’t want to see him, or want him to meet his new sibling? What if she demanded he leave at once, or have him escorted from her room the moment she seen him. “She won’t accept us,” he added as an afterthought, sounding both pained and panicked.

He heard a low chuckle from beside him, and before he seen where they were, Harry pulled him to a stop in front of the woman he had been watching. “There’s only one way that we will find out the answers to your question,” Harry said, fingers drumming on the counter as he told the woman the information to the room Louis’ mother was in, doing exactly what Louis couldn’t do.

_Speak._

As Harry lead them down the hallway, Louis got lost in thought, completely relying on the taller lad to lead him right and not let him hit into anyone or anything. He was sure that Harry was wrong about them not having the answers. Louis already had the answers. He had got it eight months ago when his mother kicked him out on the street and told him she didn’t care what happened to him, or if he had to drop out of school to support himself. The only answer he didn’t have was if he actually wanted to see her.

Was he ready to forgive her after the hell she had put him through? Was he willing to put their past behind them and embrace the future they could have together? One where they could both be happy? The answer came rushing to him, pounding against his body like a ton of bricks the moment Harry swung the door open and he seen that small bundle right in front of him, securely tucked in his sister's arms.

_He would do anything for that baby._

“And look, there’s your brother Louis and your grumpy uncle Harry,” Lottie said in a small, quiet baby voice, her body rocking back and forth without her even realizing.

Harry, completely oblivious to the puddle Louis was turning into the longer he stared at the new born baby, rolled his eyes and grinned at her. “You claim I’m grumpy, yet you’re the one that threw a chair at me and Louis when we woke you up,” Harry retorted, though he was secretly enjoying the sound of someone calling him an uncle. It sounded right, and oddly made him feel exhilarated.

“YOU WOKE ME UP AT SIX IN THE MORNING TO MOVE SHIT!” Lottie shouted, instantly cringing and looking down at the infant to make sure she didn’t startle it. She found it still soundly asleep and sighed in relief before she looked back up at her brother that was standing in the door, looking terrified.

Glancing at her mom, she gave her a look she hoped was ‘TALK TO HIM’ and nudged her head in Louis’ direction. The woman hidden behind the blue curtain pursed her lips in displeasure but leaned forward nonetheless and pulled the thin material back so she came face to face with her boy…

Her breath caught in her throat when she finally seen him and was able to take in how much he changed since the last time she seen him that rainy day many, many months ago. His body no longer slouched, like it was trying to disappear within itself, and his head no longer hung low. Instead, his head was held high, his back was straight and there was a light in his eyes he never had before.

Then her eyes drifted over to the man next to him, a man she had never seen but knew enough about from the many conversations she has had with Lottie. Her daughter had done explicitly well when she explained the dark haired man her son had taken to. From the long hair, to the piercing green eyes that looked as if a storm was brewing within them, to the strong jaw, to the smallest fact that he _towered_ over Louis.

“You must be Harry,” Jay quickly spoke up, internally kicking herself in the ass for not speaking up sooner. “I’m Johannah, Louis’ mom.” she noticed the slight hesitation in his eyes before he broke free from Louis and walked over to her to shake her hand. Instantly she took note of not only the size of his hand, but the ring she felt encircled around his fourth finger.

Smiling, and biting the inside of her cheek to keep from saying anything she could possibly regret, she retracted her hand and patted Harry’s shoulder. “It’s lovely to meet you,” Harry said, words obviously forced to everyone but Jay, and nodded his head when she patted him. It was awkward, to say the least, and he had no idea what he was supposed to say or do. He hated the fact that he was the one making it awkward when he was only here for emotional support.

“Can I hold him?” Louis asked out of nowhere, eyes focused on the blue bundle Lottie held. Everyone turned to him then and watched as he carried himself with so much confidence as he strode across the room and stopped in front of Jay’s bed, his back to her and his hands extended to Lottie.

“You bet,” Lottie said, instantly transferring the infant into Louis’ open arms. “Be careful, though. The kid has bad reflux and _amazing_ aim,”

Louis giggled wetly and through watery eyes, he stared down at his new brother… The little boy he had once thought he hated, but was now possibly the only chance he had at having a future with their mother. “Hi…” he trailed off, eyes --for the first time since he entered the room- flicking up to meet his mother's.

“Noah Jace,” Jay said, her eyes, as well as everyone else's, focused on the two youngest boys in the room. Everyone felt a certain something, and Jay instantly recognized hers as pride and love, but Harry couldn’t put his finger on what he was feeling… He liked the way Louis looked holding the baby, and he got this certain sense of… contentment just staring at Louis as he stared down at the child with light brown hair.

A small part of him, and he didn’t know how small that part may actually be, wanted to see Louis holding their child for the first time. He wanted it to be their child's hand instantly latching onto Louis’ finger and his eyes popping open for the first time, giving them a chance to finally see his sky blue eyes that had all the blood rushing to Harry’s head and made him feel like their family was finally complete, like this is where they were supposed to be after all this time they’ve spent together.

But he wasn’t ready yet, he knew that. Neither one of them were. They were still in high school, both trying to make it through the stressful rollercoaster the last year of high school was, and a child was the last thing they needed. Still, with all of that in mind, Harry couldn’t get the image out of his head… and it made his heart warm, especially when Louis’ smiled big and cooed down at the baby,

“Hi, Noah Jace,”

Harry was so enchanted with the sight before him that he didn’t notice Lottie sneaking up to his side until her shoulder bumped against his and broke the spell he was under. “He looks good, doesn’t he?” she asked quietly, just loud enough for Harry to hear, and as if she could instantly detect his uncomfortableness at her question, she rolled her eyes. “Calm down, dude, it’s only me. You can admit you like the idea of my brother having a baby. _Your_ baby,” she then shrugged and smiled, neither one of them correcting her on the fact that Louis couldn't _have_ his baby. “Zayn admitted that when he seen me hold him for the first time. It wasn’t until we were alone in a closet, sure, but he still admitted it.”

Harry gagged, of course in a playful way, at the image Lottie planted in his mind and pushed her gently. “Thanks for that, Lots. It’ll be the main thing that haunts my nightmares until the day I die,” Harry said, snorting and completely becoming relaxed. To this day, it still amazed him that he was able to feel so comfortable around the big mouthed female with the snarky attitude.

“Come on, man, don’t act like you haven’t thought about getting with all of this,” her arms waved over her body and she waggled her eyebrows in a suggestive way that had Harry laughing.

“Nope, never,” _he couldn’t handle all of that._ Then at the memory of the man he worshipped for being able to put up with her, he looked around the room and felt slightly disappointed when he didn’t see him. “Where’s Zayn?”

“Building a chimney in a stairwell,”

“Huh?”

 _Oh poor, poor Louis. How does he deal with him?_ “He’s smoking in a stairwell, but knowing him and his chain smoking habits, he’s probably made the enclosed area very smoky,” she spoke slowly and faced Harry so he could watch her lips form each word just in case he didn’t hear her.

“Ohhh. A chimney. I get it now,”

“Doofus,”

“And where’s her… boyfriend?” Harry asked (ignoring the name she called him, which was very mature of him), and jerked his head towards Jay who was still staring at Louis.

“He had some stupid meeting to be at,” Lottie said, voice dripping with annoyance, as if her face didn’t give enough away. “Work was more important than being here with his newborn son,” she hissed in his ear, needing to speak her annoyance and disapproval to someone she knew wouldn’t go blabbing to anyone, except her brother. “He wasn’t even here for the birth!”

Harry suppressed his sudden urge to hunt down the douche bag and instead let himself brew as he thought over his words and actions carefully, not wanting to make a scene when Louis was having a good time. “Bastards lucky he isn’t here,” he finally said a controlled voice, hands clenched into tight fists that had his fingernails digging into his palm.

“Damn right. You’d have to hold me back,” and that made Harry laugh, because honestly? She weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet. It would be more of a struggle to hold back a chihuahua than it would be her.

The tension soon melting away, the two fell into a light conversation and soon forgot about the no-faced (to Harry, who has yet to meet him) douchebag.

~~~~

(Jumpy time skip to the next day.. But it’s worth it)

Harry lurked within the shadows of the room, his back pressed against the wall and his breathing slow, almost non existent. He could hear _them_ coming, hear their heavy breathing and the sound of their shoes scuffing against the floor. He didn’t have long before they found him and both _things_ attacked him. Bracing himself, he felt his back hunch and his knees spread ever so slightly.

A hissing noise, followed by a glass vase crashing to the floor has Harry’s heart lurching and a smile slowly stretching his lips. “Harry, you can come out now. We won’t hurt you” one of them tries to lure him out with the sweet purr of his voice, but _no._ Harry won’t give in that easily.

“Much,” he hissed under his breath as he ducked underneath the tv, his fingers gliding over the wall as he continued making his way towards the front door, towards freedom. “They can’t find me,” Harry reminded himself quietly. “God knows what they would do,”

Cautiously, he approaches the door but a screeching voice has him halting in place, hand extended and fingers barely brushing the cool, metal door knob. “I FOUND HIM!”

Without even thinking, Harry throws the door open and runs down the stairs. Temporarily blinded by the sun, he scrambles down the stairs and falls to his knees in the snow, his hands searching for the yellow piece of fabric he knew was hiding somewhere in the snow. “FUCK!” he shouted, heart beating erratically in his chest when he finally pulled it out, fingers red and freezing when he spun around and waved the flag. “I FOUND IT! I’M SAFE!”

Standing in the doorway, the smaller of the two pops his hip out and stares at him with a raised eyebrow. Harry could see his lips moving quickly, but the boy was whispering to the person next to him, purposely making sure Harry didn’t hear a word they said. A small nod of the head from the other boy had both of them smiling mischievously, something dark skidding through both of their eyes.

“The rules have..” Swaying his hips in an enchanting rhythm as he makes his way down the stairs, the small one stops in front of Harry, fingers threading through his hair. “Changed,” he finished in a rushed breath, and before the larger of the three could react, he was being shoved back in the snow and someone was straddling him while the other one began to cover his chest in snow.

Giggles surrounded Harry but he couldn’t handle this, being trapped while the people around him could do whatever they wanted to him. He wasn’t in control, and that thought alone had Harry blacking out. When he came to, he was hovering above the boy who had been straddling him, his small arms pinned above his head. Harry’s fingers dug into his wrists and a twisted smile formed on his lips when he shot his free arm out and grabbed the other boy's leg, having him on the ground in seconds.

“You two,” he panted, still smiling to try and cover the fact that he had just _blacked out_ and could have really hurt someone. “Get to make dinner,” leaning forward and nuzzling his nose against the small boys neck, he inhales his strong scent and makes this small whimper in the back of his throat. “On second thought, Niall can make dinner while I have my way with you in the snow.”

The small boy beneath Harry laughs and two small fists begin to press against his chest. “We leave him alone in there with all that food and there will be nothing left for us to eat,” the boy chimes, giggling when Harry's lips vibrated against his neck when he growled. “Come on, Hazza,” he says, then drops his voice to just above a whisper. “You can have your way with me later,”

Reluctantly, Harry pulled back and stared down at the wide eyed boy with flushed cheeks and red nose, trying to see if he was lying just to be free but Harry seen the way his eyes dilated slightly and felt when he squirmed beneath him. “Fine.” He sighed, giving in and standing up. “But Irish boy over here cock blocks me, and he'll be spending the night locked outside with _no food,”_

 _“_ You wouldn't,” Niall gasped, eyes already watering with tears. He didn't give a shit about staying the night outside, but you bet your damn ass he’ll put up a fight when it comes to food. “Lou, make him to take it back. Tell him he isn't going to take the food away from me.”

Harry had actually made him cry… the amount of pleasure he got from that was quickly demolished when he looked down at Louis, to see if the boy had the same reaction he did, but instead he seen a stern look where there should have been a big grin and bright eyes. Frowning, Harry looked up at Niall and through gritted teeth, he growled “I won't take away your fucking food,” but that wasn't good enough. Oh no.

He felt a cold hand sneak up his shirt and twist his frozen nipple. “And,” Louis pressed, twisting just a little harder until he heard Harry yelp in pain and turn to Niall, face twisted in pain.

“I'm sorry,” Harry rarely apologized, and when he did, he rarely meant it. This was one of those times he didn't mean it, but said it just so he could get feeling back to his damn nipple.

When Louis let go, Harry quickly stood up, glaring down at the brown haired boy that was still laying in the snow, and wiped the white powder off of his legs. “Now quit your fucking blubbering and go cook. I'm starving.” He said, not even regretting it when he turned around to go back inside and felt a snowball pelt him in the middle of the back.

“Jokes on you. I can't feel my back.” He then waddled into the house and went straight upstairs so he could change out of his wet clothes and into something more comfortable. He of course was worried about leaving those two alone downstairs, because since the day they met, they have been a deadly pair, but he figured if anything got broke he would in return break Niall.

But what the fuck was that crying thing about? Who in the hell would cry over the threat of not being able to eat for a night? For one single night? Niall Horan, that's who, the boy who cried when he dropped a piece of orange chicken.

Shaking his head from the annoying thoughts of the Irish lad, Harry made his way down stairs, now in a pair of grey joggers and a black, loose fitting t-shirt, and almost instantly regretted it the moment he walked into the kitchen.

Standing in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by flour, cracked eggs on the floor, and raw chicken spread across the counter, was Niall and Louis, both covered head to toe in flour. Eggs were cracked in both of their hairs, making their usual quiffs stay flat against their head with egg shells cling in random areas.

“What in the fuck? How!? I left you two alone for five minutes!” Harry shouted, bewildered and angry beyond belief as he stalked further into the kitchen and seen, just beyond the island, was a pool of milk. “What the fuck,” he said in a irritated breath, not knowing if he was supposed to laugh, cry, or scream.

_He wanted to scream._

Instead, he laughed, and as he laughed, Niall and Louis both looked at him like he was going insane. Maybe he was, who knew? Spending longer than five minutes with these two was reason enough to send someone to the loony bin.

“It was Niall!” Louis shouted, finger pointing at Niall at the exact same time Niall pointed at Louis and said “It was Louis!”

Harry now felt like crying. “Just… Just go get cleaned up and go to the living room,” Harry said, done with the two. He was afraid that if he stayed in here with them for one second longer, he would end up using Niall as a mop and Louis as a rag. That, or he'd snap and not only have a mess to clean up, but to crying boys to try and calm down.

Bowing their heads to try and muffle their giggles, Louis and Niall both scurried out of the room but didn't wait until they reached the top of the stairs to burst out in a fit of laughter. “It's going to be so funny when you both go to bed without dinner or dessert!” Harry yelled, feeling like a grown man that had two kids.

_To hell with kids. He was stupid to have ever wanted one._

He fumed the entire time he cleaned up the mess, then continued fuming as he began to make the dough for pot pies. “Why was the milk even out? They didn't need milk. Or eggs,” he continued talking to himself, reminding himself that they were both childish shit heads he could never leave alone again.

He cooked the chicken and shredded it before he cut the carrots and let those cook with the peas, onions and garlic. “They don't get dessert,” he suddenly decided, grinning as he quickly finished dinner. They wouldn't laugh then. They would do the opposite when they seen Harry eating some ice cream on the brownies he planned on making.

While the pies were cooking, he threw together a simple, but delicious, recipe for brownies and let those cook while he cut the potpie into triangles and set up the table. His eyebrows furrowed when he walked to the bottom of the stairs and heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. There wasn't one squeak or the sound of the TV carrying through the hallway.

“Louis? Niall?” He hollered, fingers tapping on the stair railing. A few seconds passed with no response, and he was about to upstairs but then Louis appeared at the top of the stairs with Niall close behind him, both of them looking absolutely terrified.

“Are you still mad?” Louis asked in a soft voice, his lips just barely turned down in a frown that looked so wrong with his delicate features.

Harry’s heart thumped wildly against his chest and even though he wanted to laugh and say, _you bet your ass I’m mad,_ he instead swallowed the words and shook his head. “No,” _Lies! I wanna spank your ass for being a bad little boy._ “I’m not mad.”

Both of them looking relieved, they ran down the stairs and Louis jumped into Harry’s arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating, placing a kiss on every spot of Harry’s face as he did so. “Niall pissed me off so I threw a cup full of flower at him and he cracked an egg on my head and well, you know what happened,”

Rolling his eyes, Harry grasped Louis’ butt to hold him up and carried him into the dining room, where they found Niall already eating a piece of the pot pie. “Dude… What the fuck?” Harry asked, turning his head so he could see behind his shoulder, which is where he could of swore Niall was three seconds ago.

“Oh, Harry, we betta teach you some more words before we set you off into the world,” Niall said around a mouth full of food before he proceeded to pet an invisible thing in his hand, place a quick kiss on what everyone was assuming was the head, then he threw his hands up and stared at the ceiling, waving at the non existent thing. “NOO! HARRY! THAT’S A WA…” trailing off, Niall turned to Harry with a cocked eyebrow and grin. “See, see what would happen to you? You will die the moment we set you free. Literally or figuratively speaking.”

“And you will die if you don’t shut up,” Harry barked, the idea to stab Niall with the knife on the table all too tempting. He _loathed_ this kid.

Louis laughed, patted Harry’s head and mumbled, “Poor Hazza,” before he climbed down and went to their usual seat. “When’s Gemma and Anne going to be here?”

“Not soon enough,” the eldest of the three mumbled, annoyed beyond belief when Niall and Louis begin to bicker about who got the biggest piece of pie, and who will get the bigger brownie.

Eyes closing when he set down, Harry counted to ten in his mind and he reminded himself that Louis won’t be in prison before he lets his eyes drift open and seen… Louis and Niall trying to balance a spoon on their noses. _Where the hell did this childish shit come from and what has he done to my Louis?_ Harry wonders for a split second, then that thought disappears and in its place is,

_Dear god, kill me now._

~~~

The taped knuckles of Harry's right fist smacked against the plump punching bag swinging precariously from the ceiling. It was early in the morning, or at least that’s what Harry thought. When he had woke up this morning, restless and unable to keep his mind from drifting to the memories of him blacking out with Louis straddling him, it had been four o’clock.

He had been working in here for hours, but he still hasn’t tired. His fists continued to pound against the blue bag, a steady rhythm having been built hours ago that he kept up. His biceps hurt and his knuckles were screaming in pain, but he kept going, even when sweat stung his eyes and he was breathing scarcely, ragged breathes passing through his lips only when he remembered to breath and not punch.

His mind had went blank minutes after he started working on the bag (that has been hanging in Robins workout room for months, abandoned and not yet touched by anyone). It was a nice feeling to not have to worry about Louis or Niall or what mess they were going to make now, because he knew they were both asleep upstairs, Niall sprawled across their floor and Louis tucked safely in their bed with Zoey sleeping on the pillow Harry abandoned that was right next to Louis’ head.

Here, in this room, all he had to worry about was not overworking himself and making sure he stayed hydrated, which meant taking breaks every once in awhile so he could chug the water that has long since gone lukewarm.

Despite having worked himself up, Harry’s heart stayed calm in his chest and the knots in his stomach slowly began to work themselves out. He could feel as his break drew closer, so with one last hard punch to the bag, Harry took a step back and wrapped the swinging bag in his arms to still it before he walked over to the little bench that held his bottle of water.

“How long have you been in here?” a tired voice asked, making Harry jump and spill water all over him and on the floor.

Spinning around, Harry wiped the trail of liquid off of his chin and grinned at his mum. “A while,” he panted, using the rag he hung on the shelves to wipe the salty liquid from his forehead. “Why are you up?”

“Couldn't sleep,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. Walking further into the room and covering her mouth, she asked around a yawn, “Are Niall and Louis still upstairs asleep?”

“Yes, thank god,” Harry growled, throwing the towel in a random direction before he plopped down on the bench and took of his sweat covered tank top, only to pull on a new one.

“Niall is a.. He’s a good kid. A little on the over energized side, but I think he’ll do good for Louis,” Anne said, obviously choosing her words carefully so she didn’t end up hurting someone's feelings. She had meant what she said, though. Niall was a good kid, and she honestly liked him. Him and his energy was just something she was having trouble keeping up with.

“He’s an annoying little asshole who has done nothing but piss me off. Him and Louis are going to be the death of me,” he growled at the memory of the kitchen and stood up, readying himself for another round.

Anne, evidently smart enough to not ask why Harry had a problem with the boy, nodded and leaned against the door. “Why don’t you come and have a cuppa with me? You need to calm down and pace yourself, Harry. Give the poor bag a chance,” from the tone of her voice, Harry knew she wasn’t asking.

Harry frowned and contemplated on whether or not it was worth it to put up a fight when he knew he would lose. “Fine. Make me a cup of…”

“Yorkshire, I know.” she grinned at her son at walked out of the room, feeling somewhat relieved he had decided to take his anger out on something that wouldn’t land him jail time.

Even though it was only eight in the morning, and she had went to bed later than she would have hoped last night, Anne was in a rather good mood. Unlike most mornings, she didn’t have to fight two teenage boys to get out of bed, nor did she have to worry about making sure her kids ate before leaving for school. This morning was hers and hers alone.

When she woke up and realized how much time she had to herself, her mind immediately began to think of what she could get done. Sitting down with her son at the island drinking cups of tea wasn’t one of them, but to a mother, it was the best possible thing she could do with her time.

As she filled the kettle, her mind drifted off to a time she rarely thought about anymore. One where she lived in constant fear. When her phone rang, her heart would lurch in her throat because she thought it was the school, or another officer calling because Harry had landed himself in jail _yet again._ She was always on alert too, and even though she wasn’t intentionally doing it, she would look to see if any kid in her near her had gotten attacked and sent to the hospital when she looked at the news on her phone.

She had feared her son then. Well, not really him, but his choices. His life was spiraling down a tunnel nobody could pull him out of, and she was afraid that Harry would end up getting thrown in prison, or killed because he messed with the wrong person. The pain she felt those years was one that still haunted her to this day, and she hoped to god that Harry never know the pain she felt when he has his own kids.

“Mum…” Harry called out to the woman leaning on the counter, eyes glazed over and face neutral. He could see in her eyes that she was somewhere far away, how far he would never know. Turning off the hissing tea kettle, Harry took it upon himself to fill the two cups in front of his mother full of water. “Earth to Anne, anybody home?” he waved his hand in front of her face and smiled when she blinked a few times, the cloudiness clearing from her eyes, and realized what was going on.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,”

Disregarding her apology with a wave of his hand, Harry fished her tea bag out of the murky water and put two scoops of sugar and a splash of cream before he slid it across the counter to the shocked woman. “Fly trap, mum, fly trap,” was all he muttered. He found it amusing his mum was shocked he knew something as simple as what she liked in her tea, and he couldn’t help but think about the heart attack she would have if she ever figured out how much he really knew about her.

He took a sip of his own tea, with lots of sugar and creamer, and sighed as the warm liquid slid down his throat. He missed Louis, and wished he was awake down here with him so they could share a cup of tea, but he doesn’t say so. His attention is focused on the woman across from him that was starting to get little grey hairs and slight wrinkles by her eyes.

“What?” he asked, flushing a pretty pink color when he found she was already staring at him, her eyes scrutinizing. He squirmed beneath her gaze, something only her and Louis can get him to do, and bowed his head a little. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Are you happy, Harry?” Anne blurted. She knew the answer to that, but that still didn’t prepare her for the _look_ he got, the look that made had heart singing.

“Yeah, mum, I am,” for once, he wasn’t lying. He was.. Happy. Beyond it, really. “I’m in a good place right now. Louis.. He, I don’t know.. He makes me a… a better person. He makes me want to be good… to do good.” he admits, stuttering over the words no one has ever heard him admit out loud, not even Louis.

Louis was his weakness, his kryptonite, his _drug._ He knew being with him was making him weak and changing him into a man he never thought he would become, but damn it, every moment they share does more to him than any drug ever will. Louis is, and always will be, his big time high, his good as it gets, his one and only. _But he was also the only thing that could ever hurt him._

“Love, deep down you’ve always been that person and you’ve always wanted to do that. Louis was just the shove you needed to realize how much potential you have.” In no way was Anne discrediting Louis or denying all he has done for her son. She was simply rewarding Harry with some of the credit, because if Harry hadn’t wanted to change, he wouldn’t have, even if Louis was in the picture.

“No, mum, really… I don’t think I would be here without him. I know I was a fuck up before, and I know I hurt you a lot, but I was hurting too. I didn’t want to acknowledge any of that, though, so I fought and I fucked and I did everything I possibly could without actually hurting myself. And Louis, god, he made me realize that sometimes you have to let yourself hurt before you can ever get better, before you can ever feel anything else.” he smiled slowly, dreamily, and finally looked his mum in the eyes. “Do you know what that feels like? To finally watch as the clouds in your sky clear and the sun begins to shine? Because I do, and my sun is upstairs sleeping.”

It was cheesy, so much so that Harry had to swallow back the vomit, but he was speaking words from his heart. Louis may be a pain in the ass, even more so when paired with Niall, but Harry wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world, even if it meant more cheesy shit spewing out of his mouth.

Anne was on the verge of tears. Her heart was at war with itself, half feeling like it was broken and half feeling happier than it ever had. She wanted to grieve for her son and realize what he had went through all those years, but she also wanted to feel what he felt now; happiness. “Louis--”

“Hmm?” someone hummed in the distance, having both Anne and Harry jumping out of their skins and nearly spilling their tea. “What? Is there a ghost or something?” the tired looking boy with sleep mussed hair asked, spinning in little half circles to see behind him.

Harry smiled and without asking his mother for approval, he dismissed himself from the counter and walked over to his boy. “Why don’t we go back upstairs and go to bed?” he asked when he seen the light bags starting to form under Louis’ eyes.

“I was having a bad dream and reached for you but you weren’t there,” Louis mumbled, words pulling on Harry’s heart strings. Glancing at his mum on last time, the two shared a simple look that let them both know that what they had said, was between them, and that they were done. She shooed them upstairs and they both went happily, a half asleep Louis wrapped in Harry’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random fact #2: I can't start something and not finish it. It doesn't matter if its a book, a movie, or even organizing something. Once my mind is focused on one thing, it will be focused on that until I finish it. 
> 
> I know, boring. Haha
> 
> Moving on from my boring life, I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooo, here we are! As I said in the last chapter, I have finished quite a few chapters and will be posting them within a few days of each other. Two days after this one is posted, expect the next one and so on. This chapter has mild drama, and I never intended to do the Nicole scene but then it just sort of changed as I was typing and... it ended up being that. It's probably shit, but hey, what can I say? Nicole is shit. XD Haha. Okay, so I wanna do a Character ask (because many people have asked and I decided why not)) to give you guys a chance to get and know the questions. Basically I will post the names of each main characters, and you can ask any one of them a question, or multiple questions. (The names will be at the beginning of this chapter.) And then the next chapter I post will have the characters answers, along with chapter 7. 
> 
> Alrighty! Time to let you get to reading.
> 
> Much love, Xx

_**Main Characters:** _

(I'm probably doing this wrong! All well.)

**Louis Tomlinson**

**Harry Styles**

**Anne Twist (Harry's mum)**

**Robin Twist (Harry's step-father)**

**Desmond Styles (Harry's father)**

**Gemma Styles (Harry's sister)**

**Johanna Deakin (Louis' mom)**

**Lottie Tomlinson (Louis' sister)**

**Zayn Malik (Lottie's bf and Louis' friend)**

**Niall Horan (Louis' friend)**

**Jen Black (Harry and Louis' teacher)**

**Nicole (school slut)**

**Seth (Louis' bully) -added him as an afterthought. If you'd like, pay no attention to him.**

**And, if you guys really want to, you can ask Niall's mysterious boyfriend questions and have them answered before you meet him in the next chapter!**

_ **If I missed any names, feel free to comment anyway and just have their name be at the beginning of the comment.** _

 

 

I walked beside Harry, my arm hooked with his. I tried to listen to the breathless Niall behind us, but he kept on cutting off what he was saying to take a deep breath.. I felt bad for him, because not too long ago I had been him. A short legged fool who tried to keep up with Harry's long ass legs. I quickly became used to it and now fast walked like a champ. I've even managed to only trip up a couple of times every once in a while now!

"Coming..." pause, wheezy breath, "tomorrow for.." another pause and something that sounds like a breath and a groan, "lunch and I want you guys to join us," he finished in a rush, and I soon became aware of his presence right next to me because Harry slowed down, and when I looked up at him, I sighed. Here we go.

"You want us to go on a... a double date with you and your possibly annoying boyfriend?" Harry asked, and I wanted to slap him when I seen the flash of hurt cross Niall's features. I wouldn't have liked it if someone called me annoying, and Harry wouldn't like it if someone called me annoying while talking to him.

"Of course we will, Ni! I'm sure that my annoying personality will go perfect with your boyfriends!" I said enthusiastically, purposely elbowing Harry in the side and glaring at him. "It will be fun," I interjected when Harry opened his mouth to say something.

"Yeah, so much fun. Maybe we can braid each other's hair!" Harry mumbled sarcastically, his voice luckily low enough Niall didn't hear it.

I knew Harry was trying to be nice, and I was honestly thankful for it, but he honestly couldn't try a little harder? Niall was probably terrified of him and I could only guess what he thought of Harry. "Really? You guys will come?" See, the light in his eyes is _why_ I'll be forcing Harry to go to lunch, _and_ be _nice_. He could suffer through a few hours with Niall after the hours Niall had suffer through him bitching about our kitchen mishap.

I nodded and smiled when Niall began to ramble. "I can't wait! He is only coming down for a few days because he's in college and I know he..." I tried to listen to what he said after that, but everything stopped when we walked into Jen's classroom and I seen her standing in front of her desk, eyes wide and hand holding up a white envelope with my name on it.

_I wondered for a split second how long she's been standing like that, just waiting for me to walk in._

"They're here," she said, voice ringing in my ears. All at once I felt happy, nervous, and a wave of nausea crash through my body.

"Leave," I said in an almost inaudible voice, my throat dry and my entire body tensing up. I moved away from Harry and pointed to the door and said in a much louder voice, "Leave!" I didn't want him here, nor did I want Niall here. What happens if I failed it? What would they think of me?

"Come on, Lou, let me stay." Harry tried to reason with me, tried to persuade me into letting him stay with that damn tone he rarely used. I usually caved in and gave into him, but I stood my ground with firm feet and didn't back down. Not when it came to embarrassing myself. He thought I was so smart.. What happens when I open this and it proves everyone wrong? Harry will be crushed.

"Leave!" I repeated, and Harry looked hurt as he backed out of the room, Niall following after him. I bit my lip and dug my fingernails into the palm of my hands, refusing to let him and his pitiful look sway me and my decisions.

Harry, probably because he was afraid I would throw something at him if he didn't, closed the door and I heard them both running down the hallway. _Pussy's_. I turned back to Jen and held my breath as she grew closer and closer to me, then before I could tell her to open it or take it far away from me, she was shoving it into my hands. Even though it only weighed ounces, it felt like it weighed a ton in my hand.

It was dragging me down, threatening to pull me to the floor and possibly further. "Open it," she encouraged me, the tips of her fingers still resting on the edge of my hand.

I wanted to open it, I wanted to finally get it over and done with, but another part of me was terrified. This, in my hand, was in charge of my entire future. This small piece of paper could determine what college I get into, or if I even get into one. Okay, so maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but still.

Sucking in a deep breath, I ripped the top open and, like in a movie when something you are waiting for is about to happen, everything slowed down as I pulled out the white piece of paper that was folded in half. Still with the same breath in my lungs, I unfolded it and....

Nearly crapped myself. Where I thought there was going to be a big fat FAIL stamped, was in stead an overall score and... I got... holy fucking shit. "I..." I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything but stare at it with my mouth hanging open and my heart literally thumping out of my chest.

Jen pulled me into a bone crushing hug and I finally breathed. It was a mixture between relief and amusement. How was it even possible? "I'm going to go show Harry!" I said after several moments passed with me crushed to Jen's chest. "I'll come back!" I promised.

I really would, but right now I wanted my boyfriend to feel as proud as I felt. "Go get him!" Jen yelled after me, but I didn't respond. I followed the pulling sensation I got, letting it lead me like I was a magnet being pulled to another magnet. I was moving faster than I have ever moved as I sprinted down those hallways.

Student's stared at me as I passed, and a few even yelled (oddly) encouraging things to me that made me push myself to go faster. Jelly legs and screaming lungs were threatening to slow me down, but then I passed through the two double doors and seen the mop of curly hair in line in the crowded lunchroom (of course), and I didn't think twice before I was running to him.

"HARRY!" I shouted, and he had a split second to turn around and realize what was going on before I was catapulting myself into his arms and wrapping my legs around his waist. I had complete faith he would catch me. And he did. "I GOT 36!" I yelled and waved the piece of paper in front of his face.

I tried not to picture what we looked like to the student's around us, or how uncharacteristic this was of me, because I was too fucking happy. "Are you serious?" Harry asked and when he grabbed my wrist to still my still waving arm, and seen the scores, his eyes were widening and we were being spun in circles. "I TOLD YOU! I FUCKING TOLD YOU!"

Kisses were pressed all over my face before I was being set down and Harry was ripping the paper out of my hand. Dizzy, from the spinning, kisses, and the scores, I didn't have time to react to Harry before he was running around the lunchroom. "ALBERT EINSTEIN! HE'S FUCKING EINSTEIN!"

People, probably because they were utterly confused as to who he was talking about or what he was talking about, began to clap and cheer along with Harry as he continued shoving the paper in people's faces. I stood off to the side, blushing, and completely love struck. That man, the one who was bragging and literally making a fool of himself in front of the entire school, was mine.

_All mine._

"We have to call my mum. We are calling her right now," Harry said, breathless when he stopped in front of me. He pulled out his, or my phone, I can't really tell, and quickly turned to the other kids. "Okay, twat sticks, I need you guys to cheer and scream like you just were when I say the number '36'. Understood?" and when everyone nodded, which is smart because Harry would honestly try and kick every single person's ass in this room, Harry clicked a button on the screen and the now quiet lunchroom was filled with the annoying ringing iphones made when you face timed someone.

"Harry? Is everything alright? Where's Louis?" my heart swelled when I heard her ask where I was. Quickly popping into the frame of the camera, I waved at her.

"I'm fine," I said, big ass smile still in place.

"Yeah, everyone's fine but mum... Louis got his ACT scores back and he scored 36!" almost instantly after everyone in the room was yelling and Harry turned the phone so Anne could see all the students acting like total idiots because of me.

My face began to hurt from smiling so much, but I couldn't stop. For once, I felt.. Something I never have before. Like I was finally welcomed by my peers, students who have shunned me and bullied me for years. "OH MY GOD!" Anne shrieked into the phone, then she began to scramble and I, as well as the few people within a five mile radius, heard her use some pretty colorful words when she ran into something... which I found out was a door when Harry turned the phone back to us.

"ROBIN! GET YER SORRY ARSE IN HERE!" Anne yelled after she managed to open the door and a few seconds later Robin appeared on the phone screen and Anne quickly filled him in.

Both looking like proud parents when they looked at the screen, I felt my cheeks grow warm and my entire body flush. Someone other than my boyfriend was proud. Was this what it felt like to have a parent be proud of what you accomplish? "Well done, Louis. Looks like you get to choose dinner tonight. Anything you want. You can even get movies and ice cream." Robin said, and I could tell he was a little uncomfortable (though he was a lot more comfortable talking to me than he was when we first met, so a little uncomfortable was a big step) because he didn't know what to say. He tried to be nice to me all the time, but I found out from Harry that Robin didn't want to say something to me that would hurt my feelings or something.

At least he didn't suggest we go out to dinner. See! He knew me well enough to know I wouldn't want to. He knew I got uncomfortable in over crowded places. I smiled warmly and stood on my tippy toes so I could hook my chin on Harry's shoulder.

"I'll think about it," I said, though I already knew that we would be ordering pizza. I was a simple bitch, what could I say? As for the movie, I'm probably going to make Gemma pick up Big Hero 6 and a few cartons of a couple different flavors of ice cream. "Thank you," I added, to which Robin nodded, cleared his throat and disappeared.

"Oh, Louis, I am so proud of you! Robin means what he said! Anything you want is yours a..." Anne suddenly cut off, her eyes going big and her mouth falling open. Something flashed in her eyes and I knew that look all too well. I bet she's going to do something extreme for me, or get me something I would use so I wouldn't hurt her feelings, but never have needed. "Can you guys be here right after school? And Louis, out of curiosity, what's your favorite color?"

Even though I knew better than to tell her that, I couldn't stop myself from blurting, "Green." I instantly clamped my mouth shut when I seen the look she had. I didn't know if it was mischievousness, or what, but it was terrifying. She looked so much like Harry.

"Yeah, I can get him there," Harry said, and when I turned up to look at him, he looked exactly the same. Add longer hair and a few wrinkles and change the eye color, and it was like he was looking into a freaking mirror.

"Harry, Anne, no," before I could say anything further, they quickly said their goodbyes and Harry was shoving his phone into his pocket.

"Don't give me that look," Harry said, nose wrinkling adorably. But I didn't know what look he was talking about? I mean, sure, my eyebrows were raised and my tongue was poking the inside of my cheek, but that couldn't be _the look,_ could it?

_Of course it was._

"What is she going to do?" I asked, barely keeping myself from grinding my teeth together. I was annoyed. They were always trying to buy me things that I didn't need. Like the stupid clothes Gemma got me, or the big flat screen tv Anne got for Harry's bedroom for our christmas gift, or the fucking panties that Harry insisted I get...

_Okay, maybe the panties were okay. But I would never admit I liked them... or that I was wearing a pink lacy pair right now._

"Don't know," he shrugged, then his eyes went into slits when he looked behind me. "Strawberry shortcake is coming," he hissed, pulling me to his side just as she reached us.

"Congrats Lou," _Louis,_ I internally corrected, but bit my tongue from saying anything. "I flunked that test," she said, laughing and brushing a piece of her purple hair over her shoulder. _Gag._

"Thanks," I forced myself to say with a smile, even though I felt like barfing or telling her to go away. She was constantly chasing after Harry. She couldn't let go of the fact that he was gay, and in a relationship with me. It was sad, to be honest.

"What are you guys going to do? Feel like celebrating? There's a party tonight!" she was talking to both of us, but she was watching Harry with this predator like look in her eyes. She batted her clumpy eyelashes and rolled her shoulder so the strap to her tanktop fell down and both Harry and I seen the rose that was on her shoulder... that looked familiar.

"No, we've had our fair share of parties," I mumbled absentmindedly, my eyes still focused on her tattoo and when I felt Harry's arm squeeze me tighter, the same arm that had a rose tattoo, I went stiff and I felt like someone just lit my already short fuze. "You didn't." I said through clenched teeth. It was the exact same rose, only in a different place. The stem curved down her shoulder and the leaves were just above the crook of her armpit.

"Didn't what, honey?"

"Get his fucking tattoo!" I hissed, trying to pull free from Harry's grasp to pull her strap back up.

"Honey, no." she laughed and shook her head. "Rose's are common tattoos, but I do admire Harry's... Canvas." she winked at him and that, on top of the whole 'honey' thing was the last straw. Why the fuck couldn't she let him go? Why couldn't she leave us alone?

"I'm so fucking tired of you! You're pathetic. Get over it, airhead, he doesn't want you. It doesn't matter if you get the same fucking tattoos as him, or if you make your already skimpy clothes even skimpier. He likes dick, and unless you have something to tell us all, back the fuck off!" I was being mean, I really was, but who wouldn't be if they were in my shoes? I mean, I could only imagine what Lottie would do if it was Zayn. But I couldn't hit a girl.

Yell at one? Sure. Not a problem with that.

Ice cold water rained down on me and my fuze was put out when she leaned in a whispered, "Then _why_ did he fuck me in Mrs. Dawson's class when everyone was out during lunch three weeks ago?"

Harry didn't say anything because he didn't hear (he tends to block annoying people voices out).... But then the penny dropped when her words registered and I felt like all the air was kicked out of my lungs. "What day?" My trust for him was slowly starting to crack, and I knew she could tell because she was smirking. But I didn't understand how or when he cheated. We were together 24/7, even during school.

"You were taking your stupid test. While you were getting brain fucked, I was getting my brains fucked out,"

I felt sick. I held a hand over my mouth and I could sense that Harry now knew what was going on because his arm was tightening around me and he was calling my name, almost sounding frantic but I couldn't tell because of the ringing in my ears.... But then what she said clicked and I laughed. Relief slammed into my body and I just... I laughed.

Going from on the verge of vomiting, to laughing was really throwing her off, I could tell, because she blinked a few times and her mouth popped open. "I just told you he cheated and you laugh?"

"Who cheated? Me? When?" Harry asked, and I really wish he would shut up.

Moving away from him, but keeping my hand on his arm to reassure him I wasn't leaving, I took a step closer to her and poked her in the middle of the chest. "First of all, Harry was with _me_ during lunch that day. He went out and got me chinese and second of all, _how fucking touching._ You feel so threatened by me, that you had to make up a story? Well, guess what _honey,_ feel threatened because I'm. not. Going. Anywhere." each word emphasized with a poke to her chest.

She stumbled back, stunned, then put back on her resting bitch face and slapped my hand away. "Whatever. Believe what you want, Lou Lou. But remember, you can't watch him 24/7. His dick has been inside me more than once, and it will be again very soon." and if it wasn't for all the students that were watching, I would have pounced on her and tore that purple hair out of it's roots.

"Let's go," I hissed, jerking Harry away from her. I couldn't fucking wait to get out of here. Drama surrounded this place like a heavy black cloud, and as long as I was here, things would always try and come between me and Harry.

Once we were out of the lunchroom and in a relatively empty hallway, I shoved Harry against the wall and held him there. "Have you slept with Nicole?" I asked, pressing tighter to make sure he didn't try to move but both of us knew if he wanted to, he could easily overpower me.

He looked offended, but it was quickly replaced with disgust, then anger. "Why the fuck would I fuck _that?"_ he growled, but that wasn't the answer I was looking for. Come one, Harry, deny it. Tell me you didn't cheat on me with her. Of all the people in the world, please let it not be her. "No, Louis, I didn't cheat on you with her, or anyone else for that matter,"

_He was telling the truth. I could see it in his eyes._

_"_ Why would she say you did? And why the fuck would she get the rose tattoo? Obviously you talk to her, or else she wouldn't have known about the meaning behind the fucking tattoo," murder was illegal, so I had no doubt I'd be a man living behind bars if looks could kill.

I tried not to doubt Harry, and I tried so hard not to let that hag get under my skin, _but she got the fucking rose. Out of all the tattoos Harry has, she chose to get that one. It wasn't just a coincidence, was it?_

 _"_ I didn't fucking cheat. And I don't know, maybe because those little students you tutor listen to half the shit you tell Jen. They could be telling her everything, Louis. But I promise you that I didn't cheat," there was an intensity in Harry's eyes that had me sighing quietly and loosening my arm that was still locked on his torso. _He was telling the truth._

A pinky was twined with mine and I laughed softly. This has always been our thing, from the very beginning. A promise we made wasn't truly a promise until our pinkies locked and sealed the deal. "She's just trying to fuck with us. She has been since day one, you know that." _And it was true. I did know that. I couldn't believe I let Nicole cast doubts on my relationship._

_I mean, she was Nicole._

"I know," I sighed, pulling back completely. "Now, walk me to sixth period," _Harry would never cheat on me, right? Especially not with someone like Nicole. I didn't have anything to worry about, did I? Or am I just fooling myself into believing that? No. He would never betray me like that or in any other way._

_Even as I tried to convince myself he wouldn't, something in my gut was telling me I was wrong._

_So wrong._

~~~~~~

We pulled into the garage and Harry shut the car off. We haven't talked much the entire car ride home. It had been silent even when Niall was in the car before we dropped him off. He hadn't been in the lunchroom for that little scene, because he was talking to his boyfriend on the phone in the hallway, but he seemed to have sense the off-ish atmosphere. "I didn't cheat," Harry told me for the millionth time since lunch, and I believed him.

"I know," I said, climbing out of the car with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I honestly believed that he didn't cheat on me, but there was something wrong. I could tell. It may not be about something that's recently happened, or it might not have even happened yet, but something was going to happen, if it hasn't already. "Let's just go and see what Anne has bought for me,"

I sighed and walked into the house, Harry close behind me. It was quite, way more than usual. There was always a tv playing somewhere and somebody in the kitchen making some sort of noise, but there wasn't anything to be heard except for the sound of mine and Harry's footsteps.

_Better prepare myself._

"Where is everyone?" Harry asked, pushing the door to the kitchen open for me. All of a sudden, Anne jumped out from behind the counter and yelled 'Welcome home!'. Gemma and Robin both popped up shortly after with the same sheepish smile. "What the fuck!" Harry jumped backwards, like he hadn't expected it but I knew better, and held a hand over his heart.

"Come in, come in," Anne waved us further into the room and I walked cautiously in, my eyes focused on the green box that was wrapped on the counter. "Louis, we, meaning me, Gemma, Robin and even Harry decided we would get you a little something to help celebrate your test scores!" Which translates to, 'I picked something out and the rest of these fuckers just signed the card and took partial credit."

"You shouldn't have," I said, _and they really shouldn't have._ I wasn't the type of person that needed, nor liked, things being bought for me. I didn't come from money. I wasn't used to this life of luxury yet, and I knew I never would be. Harry has told me many times he still wasn't.

"Nonsense! You did good and you deserve something special!" Anne insisted, nodding her head encouraging when I reached for the box. I breathed deeply and looked at Gemma. She mouthed 'sorry' and shrugged which was, great, a lot of help.

I pulled the wrapping paper off carefully, making sure I didn't rip the thick bow that set on top, and held my breath when I tilted the long box and let the thing slide out. I felt like passing out when I seen what it was.

"You guys got me a computer," I breathed out, excited but overwhelmed. It wasn't just any computer. It was a 15.4 inch macbook pro. This thing had to have cost at least a thousand dollars, if not more. "It's too much, I can't accept it," I didn't even feel like it was safe with me staring at it. I couldn't accept something that would put a dent in my college tuition, however much that was.

"Of course you will accept it! If you're worried about the price, I promise you it wasn't too much. With all of us pitching in, it didn't put a dent in any of our bank accounts," Anne said, which hello, of course it didn't. These guys were filthy rich. They had a fucking maid that came on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Harry once told me that he himself had enough money that if we were to go and get me a car, he could pay for it upfront with cash and we would be able to drive out of the parking lot within the hour.

Well, he said he could buy at least a hundred cars, but that was beside the point. My hand hesitated over the top of the box, and I really wanted to fight, to tell them that they didn't need to buy my love or anything and to tell them to stop buying me all this expensive shit.. But on the other hand, it would do no good. We would argue, they would win, and I would still be expected to use it.

"Fine," I sighed, not at all happy even though everyone else was.

"Good! I'm glad!" Anne clapped and she reached down to pick up another brown box. "Don't worry, love, this one you'll like." she winked at me and flipped open the top, revealing a white cake with green frosting sprawled across it that read 'Congratulations, Louis!'. "Harry tried to get us to put Einstein, whatever that means,"

I laughed shakily and for the first time since we came home, I looked at my boyfriend. "I love you," and ignoring my gut, I pulled Harry into a hug and held onto him for dear life. "I love all of you,"

A chorus of 'I love you's' followed after, and I was shocked to hear Robin's voice mixed in with it. "Have you decided on dinner?" the man who has somehow become a father figure to me asked, his hand landing on my shoulder. He gave it a gentle squeeze and we both gave a slight nod of our heads before he stepped back.

"Actually, yeah," reluctantly pulling back from Harry, I turned to Gemma and whipped out the puppy dog eyes. "Will you go to the store and rent Big Hero 6 and pick up a few cartons of ice cream? I don't care what flavors, as long as you get one mint..."

"Chocolate chip," Harry finished for me, grinning widely, smugly.

"Yes, that. And I was thinking we could have pizza, maybe?"

"I haven't had pizza in forever!" Anne exclaimed, reaching into one of the drawers on the counters. She pulled out a menu looking thing and waved it. "We can order from here. I want a pineapple and ham pizza." ignoring the 'ewws' she got from everyone in here but Robin, Anne threw the menu down on the counter and pulled out her phone.

"I'm going to run to the store now. I want a pizza to myself, and make it a large with extra cheese! Ohh, add jalapenos and pepperoni too. And maybe some onions," Gemma yelled as she walked from the room, and I honestly had no idea how she could stomach that. Jalapenos? Nah. I was a straight up wimp. One whiff of those and my body was on fire for days after.

"We just want a large pepperoni and sausage with garlic crust," Harry said, remembering my exact pizza order. Well, our pizza order. I never used to add garlic crust, and he never used to add sausage. One day we decided to crush the two together and it was heaven on earth. "Extra cheese, please,"

As they got lost in the dinner order, I walked off to the side of the room (luckily going unnoticed by everyone) and pulled out my phone. I clicked on the contact I haven't used since the day I got the number and waited for four rings before the other line clicked. "Hello?" a female voice asked on the other line, and I felt the same comfort I used to when she would tell me goodnight every single night before tucking me into my bed.

Without consent, I compared her to what she looked like a year ago to what she looked like now. In the short amount of time, she has changed so much. She's gotten her teeth fixed, her hair is healthy (and washed) and she recently got it cut so it was mid back. Her body has filled out, track marks no longer cover her arms or legs, and her eyes seem brighter, like she's actually alive now and no longer just a shell.

_And to think, I was doubting this baby._

"Hi, mum," I breathed into the phone, letting my eyes drift close. "I got my ACT test scores back," I could hear the voice in the back of my head telling me to hang up, that she was going to go back to that monster and abandon us again, but I couldn't. She was my mum, and even though months ago I thought I wouldn't be able to even hear her name, I couldn't bring myself to hang up the phone.

_It was time she was there for me after all the years I was there for her._

"Come on, baby boy, tell me!"

_My tongue relaxed and I did, letting everything flow out of my mouth, hoping with every ounce of my being that she would be as excited as Anne was._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I got asked last chapter if I wanted to tell you anything about work and I figured I would let you know my work schedule and whatnot so you guys know I'm not intentionally posting chapters later than I promise. I work at my uncles restaurant, 9 a.m to 6 p.m Monday-Thursday and I also work at a home for mentally challenged people on the weekends. They're graveyard shifts, so I work from 4 p.m Friday until 8 a.m Sunday. I'm only working with my Uncle until the end of summer, then I am going off to college! Yay me. Haha. 
> 
> I wrote this chapter to Teenage Dream (acoustic version) by Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss) from glee. This song has been my go to song since 2015, pretty much. It's so... calm and I just love it.
> 
> Random fact #3: My brother, who is only a year older than me (we pass as twins quite often) and I used to butt heads when we were growing up. Even so, I looked up to him and thought he was amazing. And somehow, he managed to talk me into doing stupid shit all the time, and three of those times, all separate times that were at least a year apart, ended with me breaking my arm. It could never be the other arm, no, it was always my right arm... So now I can bend my wrist at weird angles and I can almost always tell when a thunderstorm is coming because my wrist THROBS.
> 
> This ones better than the last, at least. Haha. 
> 
> Just a reminder, if you want to ask the characters questions, just make a comment and ask each one. Make sure you add their name in the question so I know who you are asking, please.
> 
> Much love, Xx
> 
> (I honestly mean that. You guys are too good to me!)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Y-You guys fucked?” I asked, making a feeble attempt to keep my voice strong but it wavered. My heart hurt, and I knew my eyes were reflecting that pain because Harry went to stand up, but thought against it and slumped back against the sink.
> 
> “More than once, yeah,” he said, palm rubbing over the length of his face. “But I didn’t have any feelings for him. It was no strings attached. We were both looking for a good fuck, and figured we might as well keep what we had going for as long as we could without actually committing to anything,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HIGHLY UNEDITED! This chapter was written at three o'clock in the morning and the day after I wrote it I went camping, so I haven't been able to edit it yet. I know for the most part that there aren't any mistakes, but I guarantee I wrote it a little... off. Haha. When I get some time I'll go through and edit it and all that good stuff, but I thought I would keep true to my word and give you guys a chapter when I said I would. And yes, I know it's a day late. I got my days mixed up and thought today was the fourth... oops. But I promise in two days you will get the next chapter!
> 
> Warning: this chapter does have drama (YUSSS) in it, an angry Irish lad, and a bondage scene. Read at your own risk!!!
> 
> Much love, Xx
> 
> (there was no questions for the characters, so I won't be adding the answers)

Louis' pov

_The rough rope digs into my wrists with each movement I make, the skin red and rubbed raw. I needed him, I needed to feel him, but I couldn’t move. My wrists are on fire, but nothing compared to the way my insides felt. My entire body was shaking, bowing off of the mattress and chasing his fingertips that he continues to glide over my clammy skin._

_“Moving only makes it worse for you,” he murmured lowly, and my head snaps in the direction of his voice. He was standing on the right side of the bed now, from what I can tell, and as I strain my ears, trying to hear past my panting and racing heart, I hear as he tears something open. Whatever it is it crinkles between his fingertips, and then the bed dips down on the side of my body and I whimper._

_“Then touch me, kiss me, fuck me, do something,” I whine, rubbing the side of my head against my arm in hopes the red material blocking my vision will move just a little so I can finally see him._

_“Ah, ah, ah,” he tsks, “Keep the blindfold on, or I’ll place a pillowcase over your head,”_

_“I wanna see you,” I groan, my insides erupting and my entire body suddenly on alert when he grasped my ankles. He was finally giving me what I want, what I so desperately need. But then I was being pulled even further down the bed, my body easily sliding on the silk sheets, and my arms were pulled tighter, leaving no lack on the rop._

_“Be patient,” he whispered, then he was gone. His fingers were no longer around my ankle, and his body wasn’t on the bed._

_I was angry at him. I wanted to yell at him and tell him to just get it over with, but what good would that do? I mean, I was naked and vulnerable. He could do with me as he pleases right now, and yelling would only give him more reason not to fuck me._

_Huffing at the realization, I squirm on the bed and my entire body flushed scarlet. He could see me for all I am right now. I couldn’t move to cover up, and it was too late to go back now. “Bend your knees and spread your legs,” he commanded, and from what I can tell, he’s at the end of the bed._

_All too eagerly, and giving zero fucks about how desperate it makes me look or how my cock bobs, I do as I’m told and smile in the direction I was hoping he’s at. The gasp I get in return is not what I was expecting, but god did it do something. “Like what you see?” I teased breathlessly, my head turning to the side so I could hide it at least a little._

_Didn’t work, though, because soon fingers were gripping my chin and my head was yanked up. “I always like what I see when it’s with you,” he says softly. He leans down and kisses me, his lips demanding. Without permission his tongue shoves into my mouth and mine tentatively meets his._

_Muscles deep in my stomach clench in the most delicious way when he moves onto the bed and he straddles me, his hard on resting just above my navel from the way he was sitting. A low whine escapes my lips when he pulls back. “Don’t hide your face again,” he says, his fingers letting go of my chin only to trail down my neck._

_My eyes squeeze shut when his hand splays across my bare-chest, his soft but rough skin making my skin prickle with goosebumps. His hand, in slow, careful movements, slides over my chest, down my torso, up to my neck, my cheeks, then all the way back down. Harry’s hand curves against my thigh and he holds it open, then he was scooting backwards, slotting himself between my legs._

_This was too much. Not being able to see was making all my other senses heightened, my sense of feeling the worse. I felt each brush of his naked skin against mine, no matter how small or unintentional, and desperately craved the way his fingers were now curled against my hip, holding me down, pinning me to the mattress with his dull fingernails digging into the skin just above my hip bone._

_I heard the pop of a cap, followed by something being squirted. Excitement filled me then, because I knew that sound all too well, and I knew what was coming. A hand smoothed down over my hip bones, pressing me even further into the mattress, and another hand, though cupped, was nudging my legs further apart._

_“I’m going to--”_

_“Just do it already,” I cut him off, lifting my hips off the bed a little to give him better access._

_“Eager, are we?” he says, but I can hear it in his voice that he is too. Without warning, a blunt fingertip was pressing against my entrance before he shoved it in, my entire body tensing. The pain is so sharp, yet sweet, and my body has no idea what to do as his finger continues moving out before pressing back into me, intruding a space only he ever has._

_I melted into the mattress, my entire body relaxed by the time he added the second finger. “Harry, please, fuck, hurry,” I whimper, pressing my ass down on his fingers._

_“You want me to hurry,” he asks, fingers curling at just the right time and making his fingernails scrape against my prostate. I scream out in pleasure and nodded my head, to dumb struck by the pleasure to answer. “We’ll have to see about that,” his voice is soft, challenging, a delicious sensual threat I plan on holding him to._

_My fingers curled down and I gripped the rope. Using all the strength I had left, I pulled as hard as I could, ignoring the searing pain that shot through my arms and ceased in my belly. “Plea…” I began, but any words I was going to say after that died on my lips when he added a third finger._

_A squeeze on my hip was ordering me not to move, telling me to keep my arms where they were and to give up fight. I did so without arguing. A few seconds later Harry was removing his fingers and as I opened my mouth to protest, I felt his bare chest slide against mine as he moved up the bed, then he was kissing me softly._

_I kissed back with everything I am, with everything I felt, and hope that he felt even the slightest of what I felt. He pulled back and when a gentle kiss, so sweet, yet so painful, was placed on my wrist, I nodded my head in understanding. I knew what he was asking. I wouldn’t struggle, I wouldn’t resist anymore._

_Harry’s lips never left my skin as they traced from my wrists, nipping, kissing, sucking, teeth dragging here and there, lips ghosting, then pressing firmly. My neck, arms, shoulders, sides, small pouch on my tummy, all the way down to my hip bones, then all the way back up until he met my lips again in a searing kiss._

_Arms barricaded me, keeping me from wiggling side to side, and momentarily distracted by the kiss, I was knocked breathless when I felt Harry shove into me. The stretch was a dull ache, one I had become used to, but somehow, as he kept sliding in, he felt deeper than ever before, and the pain grew until I was left with this pinching sensation that slowly melted away and I was left thrusting down on him, silently telling him to move._

_I was still so tight, still unused to the intrusion, and I could feel every inch of Harry as he pulled out, the first thrust back in sweet and shocking. My legs moved up and wrapped around his waist, pushing him deeper, encouraging him to continue when I pulled them back and pushed him back down._

_My body arched beneath his, my head tilting back against the cotton pillow that smelt like Harry. “You’re so fucking tight,” Harry groaned, his hands kneading at my sides as he picks up speed._

_I can feel something building deep inside me, threatening to make me burst into nothing as white hot pleasure sears through my veins. Pinned beneath him, and barely able to form a single thought, I turn my face to whisper up to Harry, “More, please, more,” I squirm a little, feeling so full yet so unsatisfied, like I was just barely itching a scratch but couldn’t quite reach all of it yet. “Daddy,” I add in a breath, knowing just what that word did to him._

_The blindfold was pulled down suddenly and pooled around my neck. My eyes blindly searched for a second before they adjusted to the bright light and I was face to face with Harry. Then, I seen my own awe reflecting back at me, desire burning away the veil over Harry’s emotions._

_He looked unhinged, undone, a little out of control, and I was the center of his universe. I wanted him to always look like this because of me, because of what I do and do not do. I know I am no where close to being as educated with sex as Harry was, nor as good, but I knew only I could make him look like this._

_Harry’s thrusts quickened and deepened, slick and sharp, the muscles on his back flexing rhythmically under my feet. Our bodies clashed against each other, his bare chest sliding against mine with ease from the thin layer of sweat that coats our skin. My cock becomes pinned between our two bodies, creating friction I didn’t know I needed until now._

_I cry out in pleasure as Harry pulls back out, the sweet pull almost as sensual as the push back in. We find a hard, fast tempo far faster than I thought we would, shocking me even though this is how it’s always been, even when our bodies had been complete strangers when it came to this._

_Harry’s mouth moves along my jaw, leaving purplish bruises as he kisses his way down my neck and buries his face there, tongue lapping and soothing the red, angered skin as he works his way across my chest. “Louis,” Harry whispered, words a hot breath against my skin. He pulled himself up, propping his arms on the bed on either sides of my body and green eyes flicker to meet mine. “I’m close,”_

_Oh god, me too. I felt like I was going to burst. All I knew was the deep pull in my stomach was increasing with every move, with every word, with every kiss. “Me too,” I whimpered, fighting against the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to see this, wanted to watch as Harry came undone. I wanted more than anything to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down into a kiss, to feel his entire body tense against mine as we both came together._

_A hand slid beneath my hip, pulling me into every thrust, the crush of Harry’s stomach against my cock pulling a moan from me. I shivered and gasped in a deep breath, my fingernails digging into the rope as Harry’s cock inside me deepened, the angle shifting as Harry leaned down and took my mouth again with an almost-growl, the smooth slide of his tongue and cock matching rhythm and I sobbed into his mouth. My body tightened everywhere, around his cock and my legs tightened around his hips and back as he thrust against the spark inside and ignited every nerve in my body._

_My body began to hum, a feeling so intense that the pleasure slipped away from me and I came, screaming Harry’s name. This orgasm was nothing like I had ever felt before. The pleasure skittered along my muscles, pulling them taut, then sang up my spine and I arched, shuddering, eyes screwing shut._

_My legs stayed wrapped around Harry as I desperately clung to him, my cock twitching between us as cum splattered along our chest, the slick heat smearing between our bodies with every roll of Harry’s hips, and every deep thrust into my already wrecked hole. Harry came deep inside me seconds later and then he collapsed on me, the weight dragging me down and pulling my arms tighter against the rope._

_“That was…” Harry trailed off, voice lazy and sounding exactly how I felt. My entire body felt boneless, like I was nothing but a pile of jello that just got thoroughly shook. I hummed in agreement, my eyes slowly drifting close. I gave into the exhaustion, let myself fall below the bar of being awake, but stayed above the bar of losing unconsciousness. I could still feel everything, feel how sore I was and how empty I felt when Harry pulled out, feel the soft kisses he placed against my chest and face, and I felt when he finally undid the rope and my arms feel free, the burning, red, raw skin screaming in relief._

_~~~~~_

I look down at my wrists, thankful that it was still winter and I was able to wear long sleeved shirts without anyone questioning me. I pulled back the blue sleeve and traced my finger over the red circle that was slowly starting to bruise. It was still extremely sensitive, and a low hiss escaped past my lips when my fingernail accidently nicked a small spot, but it reminded me of last night and I liked looking at it.

“Where the hell are they?” Harry asked, sounding annoyed. I looked up with a small smile and watched as he shifted in his seat, eyes scouring over the mildly full restaurant, before they landed on me. “Cover that,” he ordered, but I wasn’t going to listen to him. I was clothed. I was my own person. I didn’t have to worry about what he could… then I looked up and seen his eyes were becoming a shade darker.

Yeah, on second thought, I’ll pull that down. I tugged the sleeve down, grasping the hem with my fingertips and holding it with my palm, and shrugged. “I don’t know where they are,” I took my turn and looked around the restaurant. “Nope, nevermind, there they are,” I pointed my finger towards Niall, who was walking towards our table with a big smile on his face.

He was holding a taller kids hand and dragging him to our table, but the kid (who I assume was his boyfriend) was watching his phone rather than us. “Hi guys!” Niall yelled, face red and blotchy when he reached the table.

I looked over at Harry and seen he was texting Anne, telling her we’d be home in an hour or so, then back at Niall. “Hi! We saved you a seat and we ordered you a coke, Niall, and your boyfriend a water because we didn’t know what he’d drink,”

“No, that’s fine. Water’s great,” the mystery boy said, and if I hadn’t been sitting right next to Harry, I probably wouldn’t have noticed him going completely still in his chair. I glanced at him, my eyebrows furrowing when I seen his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping the edge of the table. His eyes, already becoming darker like I thought they would, were pinned on Niall’s boyfriend.

I looked between the two and seen how.. Pissed? Scared? Irritated? Or whatever Harry looked, and how smug the other kid looked. “Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Louis, and this is my boyfriend Harry,” I said, keeping my eyes pinned on the other kid who didn’t even flinch.

“Boyfriend, huh?” scoffing, the kid ripped his eyes away from Harry and smiled at me. “Names Zeke. Nice to meet you,”

He didn’t offer his hand or anything for me to shake, so I bit my lip and just nodded. Sitting back in my chair, I snuck my under the table and slowly pried Harry’s fingers off of it. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, or why he was acting like this. I knew he didn’t want to come here, but why the hell was he suddenly acting so… old Harry-ish?

Our fingers twining together and resting in Harry’s lap, which seemed to make him relax some, I watched as Zeke extended his hand to Harry… Yet, he didn’t do the same thing to me. I wanted to reach forward and swat his hand away because, hello? Was he rude or was he rude?

Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, I nudged Harry’s side and whispered so only he could hear, “Shake his hand,” but Harry didn’t. He stayed sitting in his seat, one hand resting on the table and the other holding mine, his eyes pinned on Zeke.

“Don’t mind Harry, Zeke, he’s kind of a sour-puss,” Niall said, laughing. He took Zeke’s hand and held it, which I thought was cute.

“He just doesn’t like socializing with new people,” I added, instantly coming to Harry’s rescue. I realized, after I had said it, that I had possibly made things worse.

“Then how does he ever expect to make friends?” Zeke asked, eyebrow raised in a cocky way and his eyes twinkling with.. Something. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t like it.

“I don’t,” Harry growled, and just by the tone of his voice everyone here, including Zeke which wasn’t really surprising, knew that was the end of the conversation.

~~~~

This has to be the worst idea I have ever had. I should have declined Niall’s offer when he had invited us. Instead, I thought it would be a good idea, thought that we would all get along and possibly become friends.

_How stupid and naive I was._

Harry has spoke a total of two words since Niall and Zeke arrived, which was to tell Zeke that he didn’t expect to meet new friends. Other than that, it was just me, Niall, and his boyfriend that talked. Harry stayed quiet, and tense, the entire time we were eating. He didn’t even talk when I asked him something.

Niall was the savior for this entire meal because he kept jabbering on and on about something and would get a conversation going when one died down, not giving any of us a chance to fall in uncomfortable silence. It was still awkward, sure, but not uncomfortable. For him, at least.

Me? I was all too aware of the eyes watching Harry as we ate. They never once strayed away, even when Niall was talking to him. And that only made the bad feeling I have had in my stomach since yesterday, multiple by like, a thousand. Oh, but little old me, being the jealous bitch I am of course, has showed my ring off every chance I could.

 _‘I like this fork,’ Oh, doncha? My ring sparkles like that fork, look!_ Or _‘I have never been one to wear jewelry. I find it gets caught in… places it shouldn’t,’_ *don't think I didn’t notice the way he was watching Harry or the not so subtle lip bit* _Oh, but doesn’t it? My ring, see look at it, get’s caught in places all the time! It’s so annoying.’_

I was pretty sure Niall thought I was having a mental breakdown, which good. Better he thinks that than knowing his boyfriend has been making eyes at my boyfriend this entire afternoon.

Now? Now I’m scooting some of the salad that was left on my plate around with my fork, and I was making a something that resembled a smiley face when I felt Harry drop my hand. When I looked over at him, shocked and displeased, he was standing up. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he said, giving not even me a chance to say anything before he took off.

“God, what’s his problem?” Zeke asked. I choose not to reply and instead followed after Harry, leaving Niall and Zeke alone at the table.

I don’t know why I did, I just had this feeling that I needed to follow him. I felt like I was going to be sick, but I didn’t have the cramps from nausea that usually came. It just.. It felt weird. _I felt weird. Worried, really._

I found Harry in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror with the water running and his dull eyes staring at his reflection. _That was not a comforting look._ “What’s wrong?” I asked him, quickly making sure nobody else was in here before I locked the bathroom doors, allowing us the chance to talk in private without having someone interupt us.

Harry visibly gulped at the question. Sighing, he turned off the water and used to sink to sit on when he turned around to face me. I felt a constricting tug in my chest that made it hard to breath… The way he looked… The way he was watching me… something was wrong.

“About two years ago, I used to fuck Zeke. He was a year older than me and I was young and thought that was so fucking cool, so instead of keeping to my usual ‘fuck em once, then dump em’ I fucked him a couple of times… Well, more than a couple. He was my.. What do you call it? Friend with benefits.” Harry said, voice dull but eyes coming to life and showing me exactly how he felt.. I could tell he regretted it, but was that enough? Was I okay with the fact that my friends boyfriend used to fuck my boyfriend.

“Y-You guys fucked?” I asked, making a feeble attempt to keep my voice strong but it wavered. My heart hurt, and I knew my eyes were reflecting that pain because Harry went to stand up, but thought against it and slumped back against the sink.

“More than once, yeah,” he said, palm rubbing over the length of his face. “But I didn’t have any feelings for him. It was no strings attached. We were both looking for a good fuck, and figured we might as well keep what we had going for as long as we could without actually committing to anything,”

 _Without actually committing to anything?_ I felt dizzy and sick. The entire world began to spin and crumble at my feet. He.. He fucked Zeke. More than once. “Was that all it was? You guys just.. Fucked? Nothing else?” my voice, much to my dismay, was just above a whisper. I could barely think of the right words to say, let alone make them loud enough for him to hear without straining his ears.

“Nothing else,” he said, trying to reassure me when I felt like everything was wrong. So very wrong. He was acting way too cool with this, like this was a conversation he has had with multiple people.

“Why did it end?” _Did I really want to know the answer to that?_ “And why have you pretended you didn’t know him?”

“My guess? The annoying noodle out there. He said he found someone he really liked, and I was okay with that. I told him have a good life and haven’t talked to him,” Harry said, running his hand through his hair. “Because it was easier to act like I didn’t know him than to explain all this shit to Niall, because I highly doubt he knows about it.”

“A-And you don’t like him? Y...You’ve never liked him?” Harry shook his head and I let myself exhale the breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

A weight lifted off my shoulders and that ball in my stomach disappeared. “I believe you,” I whispered, and I really did. Or, at least I hoped I did. I hope I wasn’t letting my feelings cloud my judgement.

“I love you, Louis, and I have only ever loved you,” despite the aching in my heart and the burning behind my eyes, I managed to smile.

“I love you, Harry,” and this I knew to be true. I loved him, even though I knew of his past relationships. He was still Harry… Just a Harry that had been tainted long before I ever met him.

“Wanna go back out there? Or should we ditch?” He asked, and as appealing as the whole ‘ditching’ thing sounded, I couldn’t do that to Niall.

Sighing, I reached my hand out, offering it to Harry, and shook my head. “We have to go back out there. It’s the right thing to do,”

“You sure?” he asked, taking my hand in his own. “You don't sound so convinced about that,”

Rolling my eyes, and ignoring the voice in the back of my mind that was telling me I was too trusting and too forgiving, I walked back to our table holding Harry’s hand. We set down in our seats and I smiled triumphantly when I seen Harry, for the first time today, was smiling.

“Damn, Lou, you must give good head. He walked in as the beast and returned as the… beast with a better attitude.” Niall said, wide eyes watching Harry like at any given moment he was going to lunge across the table and rip his head off.

Which, who knows? He might.

“Bet he doesn’t give head as good as me though, right babe?” Zeke said, obviously talking to Niall but his god damn eyes were focused on Harry.

GAHHHH! I wanna stab him in the fucking hand with this fork. “Would you stop staring at my boyfriend, Zeke? He’s taken,” I said, ignoring the twist of guilt I got in my stomach when I looked at Niall and seen he was staring confusedly at me, Zeke, and Harry. “Try paying more attention to, I don’t know, your boyfriend, who you came with.”

God, I really wish I could take that all back.. But I can’t. It was out in the open now… waiting for… “What the fock is he talking ‘bout?” Niall asked, furious eyes turning on Zeke. _Yup. Waiting for that._ “I know your arse hasn’t been paying me any attention, so tell me why the hell you’ve been paying attention to the fucking doll murderer over there!”

Yup. I fucked up. Niall has never really seemed intimidating.. But right now? Jesus christ. Even Harry was flinching as sinking back in his seat. “ _Warning! Stay seated at your own risk. Crazed Irish man is on the loose and thirsty for blood,”_ I wanted to yell that at all the other people who were sitting at the tables, to give them a chance, but if I couldn’t leave, neither could they.

_We’re all in this together *que highschool musical!*_

“I don’t know? Maybe he’s jealous or something. I just thought I knew Harry and couldn’t quite figure out from where,” Zeke said, which is, as we all know, _LIES!_

_OFF WITH HIS HEADDDD!_

“Maybe because you guys used to fuck?” I said, clamping a hand over my mouth when Harry looked at me, eyes wide and saying ‘you just done did fucked up. It was nice knowing you,’

“W-What?” Niall asked, sounding hurt--betrayed, which is exactly how I felt _and_ sounded in the bathroom.

“Listen, before this gets blown out of proportion, I will tell you this. Harry and I used to fuck. Yes, we were fucking when I met you, but no, we weren’t fucking when we were together. I ended everything for him the night you gave me head in…” Zeke was cut off by a very loud, and very painful sounding slap to the cheek that had his head jerking to the left.

_Serves you right, prick._

I couldn’t say anything to comfort Niall because as soon as he had slapped him, he was running out of the restaurant with Zeke following after him. “Do..Do you think Niall Hates me? Because I feel like I just..I just lost my friend, Harry,” I whispered, a slow crack appearing in my heart. Why did I have to go and open my damn mouth? I knew it would hurt Niall, yet I still did it… and a part of me knew why. I didn’t want to feel this pain alone.. I wanted Niall to feel it too.

Then, as if Niall was sitting across from me and heard what I said, my phone chirped and I looked down to see it was a text from Niall.

_“I don’t blame you, Tomo, and I don’t hate you. I’ll see you at school Monday,”_

Then

“ _But keep your fucking boyfriend and his dick away from me. I have scissors and a pretty good idea where I can shove his dick if he gets too close,”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tell you what, Louis? That I don't want you anymore, that I never loved you? Come on, tell me what you want to hear, what you want me to say. Do you want me to say that I love Zeke, and have always had feelings for him, or that I never loved you? Do you want me to say I want you to move out so I can be free of you? Are you expecting me to say that all I wanted from you was sex?"
> 
> "J-Just tell me why you've been so distant, why you haven't held me or why y-you won't talk to me!" Louis sobbed, voice cracking along with his heart. This was it. The moment of truth. Harry could either go back to pretending they were a perfect couple and act like nothing was wrong, or he could tell Louis why he wasn't Harry anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this chapter is short! Like, it's possibly the shortest one I've wrote so far.... And it may make you hate me. Actually, it most likely will. Just.... Grab a box of tissues, because I've been told this chapter is emotional. I don't want say anything further and ruin it, so I will let you get to reading! (This is a time skip from the last chapter.) Please, please, pleassseeee listen to 'Listen to your heart' by DHT before, during, or right after you read this chapter. I played it on repeat while writing this chapter and I just... just trust me! That song is what I listened to while writing Harry in this chapter... Louis' song is 'Keep holding on' by Avril Lavigne.... I suggest listening to both.
> 
> Much love, Xx

 

_***Shadows come with the pain that you're running from. Love was something you've never heard enough. Yeah, it took me some time, but I figured out, how to fix up a heart that I let down*** _

 

Louis crept quietly behind Harry, keeping his footsteps light and his breathing quiet. He needed to talk to Harry alone, away from prying ears that would gobble up their conversation and make their fight into one worse than it actually was... But he never seemed to be able to. Whenever they got alone time, Harry would stay feet away from him and not bother to look at him, or even acknowledge his presence. It hurt, god does it hurt. It feels like.... Like his heart was literally splitting into two.

Closing the door behind them so it clicked quietly, Louis spun around and found Harry was already facing him. "We need to talk." he mumbled timidly, courage slipping between the cracks in his fingers the moment the door had closed. Tension weighed heavily in the room, and Louis knew why... He had a good idea what was wrong with Harry...

But he didn't know what he did to cause Harry to hate him this much. The man stood in front of him, but he kept his eyes on everything in the room but Louis. _Jesus Christ, he won't even look at me?_ Tears welled up in Louis' eyes and he took a step forward, desperate to reach out for Harry and touch him, to feel his broad shoulders and the muscles that ripple beneath his touch. But with every step forward he took, Harry took three more backwards.

"Louis, don't." It was a warning, that much was evident, but Louis couldn't bring himself to listen to it. He needed Harry. He hadn't slept good for the past week. He missed his boyfriend. He missed the late night conversations and how it felt to fall asleep in Harry's arms.

"Please?" Louis whimpered, begging for just one touch, one small touch. Then he would accept that Harry didn't want him anymore and he would move out, possibly move in with Zayn and Lottie for a while.

It's been 9 days exactly since the last time Harry held him (the lunch date), or even touched him for that matter. The air has been tense and Louis could feel them slipping apart, but for some reason he refused to accept it, like he refused to accept that Harry was lying about everything being okay after lunch that day. Harry didn't tell him that he didn't want him anymore, so Louis chose to ignore it... until today, when Harry excused himself from the dinner table the moment Louis walked into the room. The thought that Harry couldn't even stand to be in the same room as him when they were awake, broke his heart and made him hurt more than anything Seth has ever done to him.

When Harry didn't say anything, Louis got his answer. Through a shaky breath, Louis' entire body sagged and he let the tears fall when he finally asked Harry what had been playing on his mind. "Is this it? Are we done?"

Harry didn't look at him, not even when the tears began to fall more steadily down Louis' cheeks. "Y-You think we're breaking up?" he asked after a few beats of silence, his voice shaky and almost mirroring Louis'.

Louis' heart picked up speed in his chest, already swollen from all the emotions he has been bottling up these past few days. "Aren't you?" he asked, laughing bitterly, arms circling around his belly in silent comfort. "You haven't touched me for days, Harry. Hell, you won't even look at me, will you?" as if to prove Louis' point, Harry's head jerked further to the right, away from Louis' direction. "See! You can't stand the sight of me! You haven't been able to since that lunch with Niall and.."

"Don't." Harry growled, making Louis shrink back in fear when emerald eyes, so dark and so not Harry, turned onto him. "Don't say his name,"

"Why?" Louis asked, honestly curious. He knew the relationship, or agreement, the two had two years ago. It had hurt him a lot that day to hear about it, and it still hurt him when he thought about it today, but he couldn't dwell on the past. He knew Harry used to sleep around _a lot._ So the fact that 90% of the males in the UK has had his boyfriend's penis inside them shouldn't bother him, and it didn't for a long while, until he met Zeke.

It was weird and painful to meet someone from Harry's past, to know that before Louis, Harry had a completely different life. One much different than the one they shared now (Was he enough for Harry? And will he ever be). "We need to talk about it, Harry. If just the mention of his name has you this pissed off, do you ever think that maybe you did like him? That you two have some unfinished business?" _Don't let that be true, please. Tell me everything's going to be fine, and that it's not true... I can't take it anymore._

It was Harry's turn to laugh, but it strayed far from cheerful. Louis shrunk back in the shadows, his entire body shaking in both fear and from the sobs that wracked through his body. "I never fucking liked him!" Harry shouted, eyes blazing and hands shaking at his sides. "I never liked any of the fucking _boys_ I fucked. They were nothing but a warm body to me."

Harry used to be a fuck boy, which everyone knew, but the way he described his past relationships had anger fueling Louis' body. "Am I nothing but a warm body to fuck, Harry? Am I just another one of your..." before he could finish, Harry was stalking across the room.

"Get out," Harry snarled, the door slamming against the wall and making the pictures shake. _He was done._

The hate Harry's voice had to it made Louis' body bow in fear before he just gave up and crumbled to the floor. Harry, before now, had never made him feel so unwanted, unloved. "I should've known," Louis sobbed, his body folding in on itself. He wanted to disappear, for the floors to open up and swallow him alive. "You never loved me,"

Something snapped in Harry. He went from a growling asshole that was hiding within the shadows, looking like a predator, his movements so sleek, so lethal, to a statue. He froze with his eyes on Louis, suddenly feeling like all the air was kicked out of his lungs when he seen his red, swollen, blotchy eyes scratched with tears. Tears he had caused. And Louis' voice played over and over again in his head.

_You never loved me._

A past fuck that literally meant nothing to Harry had Louis questioning his love, doubting all they had shared together. He should have denied Louis' accusations to begin with and ease his worried mind, but he got hostile and defensive... with Louis... His Louis.

He completely forgot about Zeke (easily casting him out of his mind and the conversation) and all of the people he had slept with. The anger disappeared and something more fierce and bruising took it's place. A hurt sound from the back of his throat fell from his lips and before Harry realized anything, he was falling to his knees, head bowed and eyes swelling with.. Tears?

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he whispered, voice hoarse and full of so many fucking emotions.

"S-So it's true," was the muffled response Harry got. "T-Tell me it. It's going to hurt, but I need you to say the words. I need you to tell me..." _Please, baby, tell me it's not true._

"Tell you what, Louis? That I don't want you anymore, that I never loved you? Come on, tell me what you want to hear, what you want me to say. Do you want me to say that I love Zeke, and have always had feelings for him, or that I never loved you? Do you want me to say I want you to move out so I can be free of you? Are you expecting me to say that all I wanted from you was sex?"

"J-Just tell me why you've been so distant, why you haven't held me or why y-you won't talk to me!" Louis sobbed, voice cracking along with his heart. This was it. The moment of truth. Harry could either go back to pretending they were a perfect couple and act like nothing was wrong, or he could tell Louis _why_ he wasn't _Harry_ anymore.

Harry stood to his feet and in three long, hushed strides, he was standing in front of Louis. He gripped Louis' wrists and pulled them from his blotchy face, and with some struggle, he lifted his chin up so their eyes locked. And when they did, all Louis could detect in the depths of Harry's emerald orbs was _regret._

"Do you want me to be honest with you, Louis?" Harry asked, and Louis, chin still in Harry's hand, nodded hesitantly.

"Tell me why you've been s-so angry with me and why you're so distant." _Tell me. Help me, please. It hurts._

"Oh my god, Louis. You think I'm angry with you? You think that all of this is about _you?"_ Of course he would. Harry has taken it out on him, on their relationship.

Louis stared up at him for a long minute, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in bewilderment. If it, all of this, wasn't about him, then who was it about? Was it about Zeke? Did Harry really love him, and not Louis?

"Tell me what's it about!" Louis shouted/sobbed out, heart becoming heavy when Harry sighed deeply and looked honestly pained when he let go of Louis and set back on his heels.

_If only Louis knew Harry's heart was broken too, the tattered thing thumping out of rhythm, or that he was suffocating. He couldn't... Do it. He can't anymore._

"It's about me," Harry began, looking and sounding visibly drained. "I-I used to fuck and hurt a lot of people, Louis, and Zeke was one of them and it just made me realize, when I seen him, that I'm not right for you. I needed to protect you from me, without hurting you. I distanced myself so I wouldn't hurt you, so I wouldn't be able to ruin you like all of those other people, like Zeke" Harry paused and ran a hand down his tired face, all fight draining from his eyes _._

"I had a life before you. I was an asshole, and I don't want my past to catch up to you. And don't say it won't, because it will..." his voice broke off and in a much quieter, tired one, he finished with, "it always does. Destruction and disasters follow me like a black cloud and I can't escape it." _Here we go again, another round of fucked up Harry being no good for anyone, Louis especially._

"N-No. It won't." Louis shook his head, holding back the next wave of tears that burned his eyes. "Your past is meant to be in the past, Harry. Nothing is coming back to hurt me," _Nobody can hurt me but you. Open your eyes and see that!_

Harry shook his head this time. "You can't possibly know that," he whispered, wanting to believe more than anything that Louis wouldn't eventually get hurt, but he couldn't. He knew better.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Louis was unconsciously starting to get close to him and he immediately put some distance between them, breaking Louis' heart a little more whenever Harry clearly kept enhancing his walls instead of tearing them down. "You can't know that either, Harry," Louis sounded more surer of himself, despite his voice that was scratchy from crying.

"I don't have to be sure about it, Louis. You are all I care about, and I'm not going to hurt you just for my own selfish pleasure,"

"I-I'm not scared of you, or your past," Louis whispered, once again baring himself and speaking nothing but sincerity. He wasn't afraid of Harry, nor did he fear what problems his past would bring up in the future. As long as they had each other, they could handle it. At least, that's what Louis thought.

" _I'm scared of you,"_ Harry admitted in a low-pitched voice, his hands itching in desperation to reach forward and touch Louis' face where his cheeks were pink and warm-- looking like they were begging for his touch. "I am scared of you," Harry repeated, "Y-You do stuff to me, Louis. You make me forget who I am, well, who I _was._ Around you, I don't have to be this hard ass who everyone fears. I can be myself, and do you know _how terrifying that is?_ I-I lose myself in you, and sometimes, I believe that I'm good... then you fall asleep at night and i'm reminded of who I _am._ I-I can't be want you want anymore. I can't be the person you _deserve_ ,"

"All I want from you is to be trusted! I want Harry, the man I fell in love with, the man that makes quirky jokes and laughs at how ridiculous I am every single day. I want the man that helped me bury that dead rabbit, not the man you want me and everyone else to believe you are. I know you, Harry, and I know who you are _. You are good._ You can t-try and spout this bullshit, but I refuse to believe it," then, added in a quiet voice, "All I want is for you to be there for me, whenever I need you,"

"I am always there for you," Harry growled, really fucking hating that Louis would even say such a thing. "But I don't know who I am anymore, Louis! Am I an asshole and fuckboy, or am I a cheesy fucking romantic who bows down at his boyfriend's feet? Because the two are totally different, Louis, but they're all I fucking know. _Who am I?"_ his voice turned frantic and his eyes searched Louis', hoping he would find an answer to the question that has haunted him since the day he met the blue eyed boy.

"Who are you?" Louis' hand swiped across his cheeks to wipe away the remainder of the tears that had already started to dry on his cheeks. "You are Harry Styles, the man who makes me feel safe when people on the street yell at me or school bullies attack me. You are the man who beat up a jock after he kicked my ass, even though you didn't really know much about me. You are sweet, romantic, a hard ass and sometimes even a cuddly teddy bear. You don't have to be one or the other, Harry. Be the person you feel most comfortable being."

But who was he most comfortable being? With Louis, he really didn't put too much thought into what he was doing or saying. He just did it. But he never put much thought into it when he kicked someones ass. It just came naturally... So who was he? Was he really both people, but only ever let himself show the other side of him around Louis? Or was he neither, and was simply acting?

"I... you sound so confident in who I am.... Why, Louis? Why do you believe I can be good, or what makes you even think I _want_ to be good? I... don't know who I am..." Harry saidd, puzzled. How was Louis so confident in who he is, when he didn't even know who he is? Did Louis see something he didn't? Or was Louis simply blind to the real Harry and only chose to see what he wanted?

"Because you held me when I was falling apart, Harry. You stuck up for me and stood by me even though you knew the entire school shunned me. When I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, you shoved the damn bolder out of the way and saved me... A person that doesn't have a good heart doesn't do any of that... they would have left me the moment I got drunk and vomited because I was a light weight." _You have a good heart... Just a lost mind._

"What... what if I never found out who I really am? What if I stay this way, an asshole to the real world and a... whatever to you?"

"That won't happen. I'm here. I'll help you find out who you are... who you really are."

Harry heart sank when fresh tears started to find their way down Louis' red cheeks. He hated that he was the reason for them falling, and when Louis' body began to shake with every sob that ripped through his raw throat, the walls just miserably started to fall down, leaving Harry naked-- bare.

_He would give anything to just be able to hold Louis right now... like he was supposed to this entire time._

Harry's first priority had become, since the first day he met Louis, to protect the small boy no matter the cost... and now, he was going to have to pay the cost to make sure that Louis was okay, that he didn't hurt anymore, no matter what happens. Harry had become so blind by the idea that he was ruining Louis, that, with a heavy heart, he believed the only option he had was to take a step back. At the moment, he was completely unaware that by doing so, he was hurting Louis --and himself-- more than he had ever wanted, more than he had ever intended.

Harry sighed tiredly, his body and mind giving up the fight. He needed Louis to be okay. He needed to be okay, but most importantly, needed _them_ to be okay. Even if that meant he would remain lost. "You have no idea how hard it has been to not touch you, to not hold you at night," _You have no idea how hard it's been for me to not give into myself and let the darkness that has slowly crept over me, suffocate me and cloud my lungs. I don't think I can do this._

"Y-You could have," Louis quickly piped up, and Harry didn't miss the hope that flashed through his eyes. "I-I was waiting for you to. I tossed and turned and hoped that you would finally hold me, but you never did." _I called for you, Harry, but you never came._

Harry knew what Louis was saying was true. He felt him tossing and turning, and it was incredibly hard not to reach out for Louis in the middle of the night, where his side of the bed became so _empty,_ so _cold._ He had to clench his hands in fists to stop himself from rolling onto his side and dragging Louis into his arms, where he belonged. And when he was sure that Louis was finally asleep, he would climb out of their bed and sit in the dark living room downstairs, eyes rimmed red and bloodshot and focused on a undefined blank spot on the wall, while the only noise to be heard other than his labored breathing was his mum's tv playing in the other room. Then, Louis would wake up and Harry would have to pull himself back together, fasten his armor, and go about his day like he wasn't missing half of himself, even if he hated to, even if it broke his heart.

It had been all too tempting to reach out to Louis in the morning, when he found himself to be the most vulnerable, and make himself whole again. He had to watch the misery flashing in Louis' sad eyes, the distance between them growing wider after each passing day. He had to sit through the uncomfortable silence Louis broke whenever he asked him, blunt and outspoken, with that honesty and vulnerability in his voice, "Are you actually going to talk to me today, Harry?" Or, which is, in Harry's opinion, the worse "I feel like something is off with you.. You aren't _my_ Harry," and it did nothing but hurt Harry, making it feel like he had been stabbed in the chest, but didn't get the satisfaction of peace that death brought.

He should have opened up to Louis, should have expressed his fears and found the answers within his boyfriend, the person he was supposed to trust and confide in with everything. But he didn't, because he knew Louis would talk his way back into Harry's arms. He would make Harry forget about what he was worried about, about the fact that he felt so fucking lost and confused and expect for things to go back to normal with just a snap of his fingers.. But he had been wrong. Louis listened, he let Harry bare himself and express his inner fears, and he didn't just brush them aside... He told Harry that, despite his past (and the fact that he was wandering down a lonely road with no idea who he is), he loved him and wanted nothing more than for Harry to just be himself, even if that means he's the brainless, asshole robot he had become so used to being.

_Maybe he could do this... for Louis and himself...._

And now, Harry found himself removing the distance between them and pulling Louis into his arms, his entire body screaming in relief when it became whole once again. "I missed you," Louis trembling voice broke Harry out of his train of thought, and jesus, how could Harry ever think they were _bad_ for each other? His arms constricted even tighter and Louis was completely flush against his body, but he didn't stop, it was like he was physically trying to make them one.

Louis let out a sound that was between a sigh and a laugh and buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck, his tears staining the black shirt. In sync, they inhaled, taking in the others scent before it quickly became mingled with theirs. "Don't let me go," Louis suddenly whispered against Harry's chest, his hands fisting Harry's shirt. _As if he had to say anything._

Just to reassure him, Harry pulled Louis into his lap completely and whispered in his ear, voice hushed but sincere, " _I'll never let you go,"_

_Harry was still lost. He didn't know who he was or who he was supposed to be, or if he would ever find himself completely and make his way back to Louis. But he could play pretend right now, if not for the simple fact he didn't want to hurt Louis, then for the fact that he was tired of hurting..._

_But maybe he was who he was supposed to be when he was with Louis... Maybe this was where he belonged... And he hoped he would never forget it._

**_*Don't forget where you belong._ **

**_Home* << Couldn't resist._ **


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not just saying this to say it, but this chapter is literal garbage. I have, once again, lost my writing mojo and I more or less forced myself to write this chapter because I would feel worse not writing one, then to write on like this. Despite it sucking, it's eighteen pages long! Holy cow! This is one of the longest I have ever wrote! :)
> 
> Well, the next chapter will come soon and the story will pick up pace! A lot of things will be happening!
> 
> Much love, Xx

 

Louis' POV:

“Why did I have to wait here? Why couldn’t he have?” was the first thing I heard when I pulled into the nearly empty parking lot at our school. I rolled my eyes and sunk back in my seat, my hand resting on the steering wheel.

“Because,” _You fucked Niall’s boyfriend._ “I’ve already had to pull Niall off of you when you two got into it last week. A car ride with both of you within an arm's reach of each other is a bad idea.” I sighed. Niall, although he was still my friend and nothing has really changed between us, refused to even think about forgiving Harry. The two of them couldn’t be left alone in a room, or even be in the same room, without one of them starting a fight that would end with Nial all red faced, shouting insults that were hardly decipherable because of how thick his accent got when he was mad.

It was amusing for the most part, but then again I found it… annoying. I mean, I can understand where he was coming from, and I don’t think I would ever consider Zeke my friend, but I would never treat him the same way Niall is treating Harry. And why can he forgive Zeke, but not Harry? They were both in it together. It’s not like Harry intentionally fucked Zeke all those years ago because he _knew_ he would end up befriending the guys boyfriend in the future.

“Still. It’s my car. He can get another ride,” Harry pouted as he slammed the door shut, only to rub it right after and whisper, loud enough I could hear but I don’t think it was intentional, an apology to it. Pretending I didn’t hear it, I began to drive.

“Oh, shove it Harry. Niall is just upset, and you have to see where he is coming from. You _fucked_ his boyfriend,”

“Yeah, and his boyfriend fucked your boyfriend but I don’t see you acting like an evil fucking garden gnome attacking his shins.” _Be mature, don’t laugh at the picture he just painted in your head… even though it is totally what Niall looked like when he went after Harry._

“If I had to go to the same school as him, and see him every day, you bet your arse I would,” I said, waiting for the light to turn green before I pressed down on the gas pedal. “He’s hurting, and right now he needs to take his anger out on someone since Zeke is a two hour drive away from here,” out of the corner of my eye, I seen Harry open his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it. “Yes, there is such a thing as cellphones, and yes, he can call him and yell at him, but it’s not the same. So, for now, until the day Niall decides to forgive you, you will be his….”

“Fill in boyfriend, only without all the benefits?” Harry offered, annoyed.

“Exactly!” reaching over the console, I grabbed Harry’s hand and gave it a soft squeeze. “How are you doing anyway? I've been meaning to ask?” I asked him quietly, cringing when I felt him tense slightly. Yeah, yeah, the fight we had the other day (meaning anywhere from yesterday, to weeks ago) was still a sore subject, and Harry hated when I brought it up, but I needed to. I couldn’t be left alone with these thoughts, these memories. I felt like I was holding Harry back somehow, like I was the reason he didn’t know who he was.

“Fine,” he answered almost instantly. When I chanced a glance at him, he was facing the window, eyes closed and forehead pressed against the glass. “The time apart, I mean distance, we had was good. That, and the… conversation (conversation my ass) helped me a lot. I don’t feel as-”

“Alone?” this time I was the one to offer. He nodded his head, his thumb rubbing back and forth on the sensitive underside of my wrist.

Nothing else really had to be said. I had filled out the blanks the day we had fought. Harry was lost, but not exactly. He had become so used to the man that he was, that he never thought about change and now all he’s doing is changing. He changed his habits, his motivations, his mind, and now he’s even going to college. Everything Harry had known before was swept under the mat when I came into the picture because he thought I would want it that way, that I wouldn’t accept him and all he was. And now that he knew otherwise, he was slowly starting to bring himself out again, letting both of his worlds crash together and it was a tough transition, but I knew he would get through it. I would be there with him every step of the way, and he knows it.

So, no, what he had said before wasn’t true. He wasn’t lost, per say, he was just finding his way down the road he never thought he would travel down.

The car settled with a comfortable silence that lasted for several seconds before my phone was ringing. Glancing down at it, I let go of Harry’s hand and quickly picked it up, my eyes glancing back and forth between the phone and the road. “Hello?” I said, sandwiching the phone between my ear and shoulder so I could return both hands to the steering wheel.

_Oh, if my nan could see me now. My arse would grass._

“LOUIS!” was the screech I got in answer. “THEY CAME! THEY CAME!”

“Niall, calm down, what came?” I asked, already pulling into the driveway. I stopped at the end of the hill, which is exactly what the driveway reminds me of, and put the car in park.

“THE ACCEPTANCE LETTERS! CHECK YER FOCKING MAIL AND CALL ME BACK!” before I could protest, or ask which colleges sent him back an acceptance letter, the line was going dead and I was left staring out the windshield, but not seeing anything.

I blinked once, twice, then I was shrieking. “I got to check the mail!” I yelled at Harry, throwing my phone in his lap before I was climbing out of the car and running across the grass that still had a few patches of snow. My breath caught in my throat when I stopped in front of their mail box. The handle wasn’t up yet, but that didn’t stop me from pulling the lid off so I could peer down into the…

Empty mailbox. Oh, it’s empty. But.. Niall’s mail has already came? Biting my wobbling lip, and trying to keep all the dark thoughts that began to prod at my head at bay, I put the lid back on and sat down on the grass, my knees hugged tightly to my chest.

Not getting an acceptance letter yet could mean anything. Niall probably applied to different colleges than I did, and all colleges sent their letters out on different days. Maybe mine would get here tomorrow, or even next week, but I knew it had to be coming.

Yeah, it was coming. It’s in the mail now.

Resting my head against my knees and closing my eyes, I sighed. “They’ll be here soon.” Harry said as he sat next to me, and I honestly wasn’t shocked when he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, or when my body leaned into him without thinking.

“But, what if I don’t get into those colleges, Harry? What if none of them want me?” I asked quietly. What If I wasn’t good enough? For the colleges, for Harry, for anything?

He sighed sadly. “Give them time. Those colleges for geniuses don't want to seem overly excited about having you attend, and chance scaring you away, so they always wait until the last minute to send out their letters. They don’t want to seem desperate.”

“Nicole could learn a thing or two from them,” I sniffled, laughing. “But Niall-”

“I don’t want to hear anything about Niall. He isn’t you, Louis. He didn’t apply for half the colleges you did.”

“No, but he still-”

“The colleges intended for brains like Niall’s want to seem desperate. They’re like Nicole. They want all these students. They can never have enough, so they always go for more.”

I laughed because yeah, they are definitely like Nicole. Resting my head on Harry’s shoulder, I sighed and looked up, easily getting lost in the large fluffy clouds that filled the sky, leaving only tiny cracks of blue that looked so beautiful with the sun set so high in the sky, illuminating the clouds with a yellow glow.

I didn’t know what I would do without Harry, truthfully. Not just for the fact that he, well Anne, took me in off the street when my own mother abandoned me, but because he never lets me doubt myself. He is caring, loving, and stubborn, all traits I admire but despise at times like this. He lets me know day in and day out that I am smart, that he loves me, and that he will never let me give up. He is my hope, for everything.

I had become so close to him when I had first met him, and I admit that it terrified me beyond words, but it was also exhilarating. The fear that he was simply talking to me to prove himself to the popular crowd somehow faded away and I seen him for who he really was, and what his intentions were. He couldn’t gain anything from me, or humiliate me because I took care of that by myself, and it wasn’t until that night we talked about his family that I seen, behind his poorly placed mask, the betrayal and hurt he felt.

He was in as much pain as me, if not more. It was also that day that I vowed I wouldn’t judge him for his past, because I was sure he got enough shit from his family about his mistakes, and that I wouldn’ turn my back on him, no matter how tough things got or how hopeless I felt. He was stuck with me, as I was stuck with him.

It was my blessing, and his curse. Even with that thought in mind, I can’t help but giggle at how… silly that thought is. I knew Harry would never think of me as a curse or a burden, even if some days that’s how it appears. Behind those asshole remarks and those glaring eyes, was a man who I knew to be hopelessly in love with me, a man who knew no other way to show his love than by calling me annoying, or makings jabs at how much I talk or continuously reminding me that it’s because of me he was out of cookies.

It was Harry’s way of showing.. emotions... that made me fall in love with him. He was so unique, so loveable, and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

“Did you just fart?” Harry asked, shaking me out of my thoughts. I wrinkled my nose and looked up at him in disgust.

“Me, Louis Tomlinson, Princess of all, fart? No.” I shook my head at the accusation. I would never fart out in public. When me and Harry were alone, sure, but out here? Nope. “Oh my god, you reek!” I jump up when this god awful smell reached my nose. It had to be Harry.

Instantly, Harry fell onto his back and began to laugh, his entire body shaking. For a minute I forget about what’s going on and just watched him lost in his own amusement at something so gross. I have never seen him so.. Carefree. The way his eyes are crinkled and the dimples that made an appearance had my heart racing and my stomach erupting with butterflies.

He’s so painfully perfect. And yet again, I’m reminded of how lucky I am. I, Louis tomlinson, am the man he choose to commit to, even though he had many, many choices to pick from. And dealing with a few farts here and there seem so pale next to all the great things I get to experience and do while standing by his side.

If having to smell this god awful stench for the rest of my life is the price I have to pay, then to me, it’s worth it. “Boys?” I heard Anne yell followed by the front door closing. Turning around and looking up at the house, I seen her standing next to the door in a lavender colored silk robe that was wrapped around her body, meaning she had a late shift last night and most likely just got off.

“Down here!” I yelled, smiling when she looked in our direction. Even with her hair pulled up in a messy bun and her sleeping clothes still on, she is undeniably gorgeous.

“Oh, thank god, I heard Harry laughing and was afraid someone was dying,” she looked at Harry warily, like she still didn’t trust that he wasn’t on his deathbed.

“No, no,” I laughed and shook my head. “He found something extremely amusing, which isn’t hard for him,”

Anne nodded her head knowingly, a smile playing on her lips, and pushed up off the door. “Anyway, I heard you guys come home a few minutes ago but you never came in so I wanted to check to see if you were okay,”

“Yeah, we’re fine. We were just checking the mail.”

“Oh, I brought that in half an hour ago. You got a few envelopes. I set them on the table,”

My eyes widening, I leave Harry behind and run the absurdly long distance from where we were, to the front door. “Sorry, excuse me,” I said as I pushed past Anne, making sure I didn’t disturb her balance before I run through the house and into the dining room.

I froze in the threshold, my entire body flushing with fear of the unknown as I stared at the five large-white envelopes on the table. “Open them already, before I do,” Harry said, casually strolling into the dining room and plopping down at the table without a care in the world. He was acting like this wasn’t serious, like my entire future wasn’t sitting on the table.

Swallowing thickly and pushing back my nerves, I walked on shaky legs to the table and set down in the seat. With shaking hands that began to sweat, I picked up the thick stack and stared at it for a second, then two, before I clicked what the stamp on the front said.

“University of Cambridge,” I said quietly. My heart leapt into my throat and I set it off to the side, not yet opening it, so I could look at the rest. The next three were good colleges, but were nothing compared to the last envelope in the stack that was, if I might add, the thickest. “I-It’s from the University of Oxford,” I whispered, my heart spazzing in my chest and my head going fuzy for a second.

A hand closed around mine in silent comfort and when I looked up at Harry, he smiled encouragingly, that simple look letting me know that whatever happens, he was here for me, to support me. I nodded softly and, using one hand which was hard but I made it work, I tore the top off the envelope and held my breath as I pulled out the first piece of paper.

Anne was in here now. She must have made a silent entrance because, without me realizing, she was sitting next to me, her hand now resting on top of Harry’s, which was still on top of mine. I knew then that no matter what this letter said, I would be okay. I had them here for me, and that was more than I could ever ask for. With the overwhelming feeling of fear and rejection planting itself in the middle of my stomach, I unfolded the piece of paper and began, with a trembling voice just barely above a whisper “Dear Mr. Tomlinson, I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admission has admitted you to the class of 2014. Please accept my personal congratulations for your outstanding achievements,” abruptly cutting off, I looked up at Anne and Harry and at the same time, all three of us screeched loudly and I was pulled into a crushing hug by two of the most important people in my life.

I felt welcomed, but the most important thing I felt was _love._ They love me. “I am so happy for you, Louis! I knew you could do it! I told you, didn’t I?” Anne said, her voice tickling my ear. Choked up with all these emotions, all I could do was nod.

I did it. I got into the school of my dreams, the school I thought was forever out of my reach. My entire life I have busted my ass to get here, to get to this place I am at, and it has all been worth it. All those sick days I went to school, or those nights I stayed up to think of ways I could help my students, or the nights I felt on the verge of a breakdown from how full my brain was, or even those days when I went outside of my comfort zone to help at places, were all worth it. I had done it, yet, I still couldn’t believe it. Even with the proof right in my hand.

“You got into Cambridge too, if you care,” Harry said, and it wasn’t until then that I realized he had pulled back from the hug.

My eyes going into slits, I pulled back from Anne and glared at Harry, who was smiling sheepishly and holding up the letter he had opened. “That’s against the law, you know?”

“Who cares. Are you going to arrest me? I think I have some handcuffs upstairs so you can detain me until the police show up,” he raised his eyebrows, silently egging me on, challenging me to say something, to do something.

“Hmm, maybe, who knows? You in handcuffs would be-”

“Boys, mum is still in the room and I would not care to hear anymore of this,” Anne said, raising her hand to tell us to stop.

I was worried that she really was upset, but then I looked at her and her eyes were twinkling with fondness. “Sorry,” I mumbled, cheeks turning bright red. It was always so easy for me and Harry to get lost in our own little world and forget that people were around us.

Smiling at me, Anne suddenly went all serious and she leaned forward. “Louis,” Oh god, this was something bad, something I wouldn’t like. I could tell, this was the same tone of voice my mum used the day she asked me to sell drugs. “I know that this will make you uncomfortable, and you will probably get upset, but I have talked to Robin and we both are willing to pay for your tuition, books, and room. If you will let us, of course.”

No. No, I won’t allow this. She was right to think I would get mad. “That’s a really sweet offer, Anne, but I can’t allow you guys to,”

“Louis, just let them pay,” Harry cut in.

“No! I have accepted all the gifts you guys have bought me with little fight because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but this is where I draw the line,” I was standing now, my hands braced on the table and my eyes wild, or so I am guessing. “The computer I will forever be grateful for, and the tv and all of those other things, and I promise that I will use them, but they are completely different than allowing you to pay for my college tuition. I have come this far on my own, and I will go even further on my own, even if it means working myself to death,”

Both Anne and Harry sat stunned, silence stretching over us for several seconds. My breathing was erratic and my heart was beating a fast paced staccato against my ribs, each thump echoing in my ears. “We only want to help you, honey. Don’t think of this as a handout of any sorts, Louis. We consider you our son, and we want to help you any way that we can.”

“Then help me by being there for me, help me by pushing me when I feel like giving up. Handing me the money now isn’t going to teach me anything. It will only make me expect those kind of things, and I prefer to work for my money, to earn it like I earned my place at Oxford and Cambridge.” How I would choose which one to go to was beyond me. They both cost a pretty penny.

I wasn’t backing down, but neither were they. We were all headstrong. “Then pay them back, Louis! Let them help you, let us help you. You can get a job and start paying them back every paycheck, but don’t kill yourself trying to get this money. Just... please, let us help you,” Part of what Harry was saying struck me hard in the chest. Even if I did get a job now, or even two jobs, I would still never make enough money in time. I would have to call them as soon as possible and accept my place before they move on and give it to someone else.

_I would kill myself trying to get that money long before I even got close to enough._

I shook my head and rubbed at my temples, already feeling the sharp pains from a headache starting. “No,” I whispered, “I want to do this on my own. I appreciate the offer, Anne, and I am sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I can’t let you do this for me,”

“God damnit Louis, why do you have to be so fucking stubborn? We just want to help you! Let go of your pride and accept what she is offering you,”

Harry was standing now too, and the way he was shaping his shoulders and the way his eyes were darkening and his lips curling were telltale signs of him trying to be intimidating, but it hasn’t worked on me for a long time now. My back straightened then, too, and with as much venom as I could find, I hissed, “I don’t want their help, Harry. And yeah, you’re really one to talk. They tried to help you all those years ago, but you didn’t accept it, so why the fuck should I?” that was a low blow, and I knew it. I instantly wished I could take the words back, but it was too late.

The mask that Harry keeps off around me was flying right back on and his face became neutral and his eyes void of any emotion. “You’re right,” he said, voice dead and flat. “Don’t let them help you. Take out student loans and fall into debt, but don’t come crawling back to us when you have no one to turn to or help you,”

_He was watching me like he did that entire week after our lunch date, and it made me feel uncomfortable and made me fear what was going to happen, even if I didn’t realize it now._

Anger sliced through my veins when he said not to crawl back to them. That hurt me that he would even think that I would. After all this time, I thought he knew better. But then the anger quickly burned out of my system when he turned around and disappeared through the doors, leaving me helplessly watching him leave.

I wanted to follow him, to apologize for what I said because we have fought too much lately, but I knew better. He needed time to himself. “I didn’t mean to start a fight,” Anne whispered, sounding just as horrified as she looked when I turned to face her.

“You didn’t.” I shook my head and smiled weakly at her. It was forced and only lasted for a few seconds, but it was still something to reassure her. Our fight may have started because of what she said, but it’s been going on for a lot longer than that. “I-I need some air. I think I’m going to go for a walk,”

“Of course..” any words she said after that I drowned out. I grabbed my phone off the table, where Harry must have set it, and the acceptance letter from Oxford, then left.

~~~~~

_Third person POV:_

_Three minutes. That is all it had took for everything to shift, for the entire foundation of our relationship to crack, to crumble away pieces that may never be repaired, all because Louis had been stubborn._

Harry paced back and forth in his room, a mixture of anger and betrayal flooding his veins. He popped his knuckles then clenched his hands tightly at his sides, flat eyes landing on the only other living thing in the room that he has been talking to for the past few minutes; the thing he knew wouldn’t judge him, or make him regret saying anything because they hurry and turned around and told someone.

Zoey, the black cat that he has despised since the day he got it, sat on the edge of their bed, her head titled to the side as she watched Harry, almost looking expectant. “We just wanted to help him,” Harry told her for the fifteenth time, “But no, he had to get all fucking defensive and be a dick to me. To me, Zoey,”

Harry, even though he has had a few minutes to digest everything that had went down, was still shocked and confused about why Louis had said such a thing to him. Harry was far from perfect, and he knew that, but he was _trying._ Yeah, he may have been fucked up before and not thought twice about his actions, or accepted help he knew he should have.

But he hadn't cared enough then to accept anyones help.

He had been in plenty of fights, fucked plenty of people, and broke more hearts than he could count, but he had actually been trying with Louis. Before, he was a wasteland of uncharted territory. Nobody knew him, nobody seen more than what he wanted them to see, and nobody got close enough to him to make him feel these fucking emotions.

_And that was how he preferred it. Nobody else could hurt him if he didn't let them in._

_But he let Louis in._

Fuck! It was all still so new to him, so completely new. He was torn. A part of him wanted to go back to forget what had happened, to hunt Louis down and beg for forgiveness. But another part of him, a deep, dark part, wanted him to find Louis, to give him a piece of his mind without thinking twice about it or worrying about the consequences. That part didn’t care _what_ he did to the feather haired boy that smelt like vanilla, as long as he suffered.

 _“No!”_ Harry snarled, shocking both himself and Zoey. The cat sprung off the bed and ran out of the room, leaving a trail of dust in her wake. “He doesn’t deserve that,” he added, even though a part of him ached for that not to be true.

Right now, he wasn’t Louis. He was someone who had hurt him, someone who had used something personal against him and that just wasn’t _right._ He was terrified that that part of him would win. He could feel himself fighting against it, his will bowing beneath his want to the point it was almost snapping from the force.

But then Harry acted. He snapped, his fist sailing forward and punching a hole through the wall above his dresser that left his knuckles bleeding and tore, but numb. He couldn’t feel anything but how heavy his heart felt, how sluggish his movements were when he turned around and stared at the door for a heartbeat.

Then he began to move, his long legs easily maneuvering his body through the second floor of the house, down the stairs, and into the dining room. He needed to talk to Louis before he got lost, before he became so far gone that nobody could get through to him until he did something bad, until the monster inside him got the chaos it was craving, before he left a trail of destruction in his wake.

He wasn’t going to forgive him, no. He needed to talk to him, though, needed to let his anger out and express to Louis how pissed he was at him for not letting anyone help, and how what he said was not in any way okay.

_But he also needed to get to Louis as soon as he could, even if it was just to fight. Louis brought out the other side of him, the human side, the side only he really gets to see._

“Where’s Louis?” Harry asked, emerald eyes draining of all color until his eyes were flat, emotionless, everything he wasn’t on the inside.

“He left,” Anne said, words irritating Harry further. He clenched his teeth together and spun around, quickly making his way through the far too large house and out to the garage.

As he pulled out of the driveway and stared up at the house, he was thrown off for a second. Louis was right. This, their wealth, was too much. They needed more than they could possibly ever need. Harry’s great, great, great grandchildren could live comfortable lives with the money they had, and even then, there would possibly be more money left over.

It had all been so weird at the beginning, and it took some time getting used to it, to the money. Harry understood how Louis felt right now, knew how hard the sudden shift of his world was. Going from dirt poor to living with people who were filthy rich was.. Hard. It wasn’t normal for him. People buying him stuff wasn’t normal to him, and Harry let himself remember how strange it had been that first Christmas after his mum and Robin had got together.

He hadn’t known _what_ to do with all the shit they got. It was more than a kid would ever need, and at first he wouldn’t accept anything more than a few toys. Then he became used to the money and took more and more, became hungry for things he couldn’t possibly need.

And it was then he realized why Louis’ was so resistant. He wasn’t saying no because he didn't want help. He was saying no because he didn't want to end up like Harry; greedy, dependant on his parents money, always taking more, wanting more, but never giving back. That may not be who Louis was, but money did crazy things to people, brought out the monsters from within side them.

Thoughts whirled around in Harry's head as he drove, his grip on the steering wheel loosening little by little until he was left irritated, but no longer angry enough to feel like hurting Louis. He looked everywhere for the boy, at the school, the cafe, the park, the pet shop, and he was just above to give up when he drove past the bus stop, the exact one he had picked Louis up at those many years ago, and seen Louis sitting on it, looking so small from the way his body was curled on the bench.

He smiled at the memory, because it had been that night him and Louis shared their first kiss. He had wanted to kiss his sooner, to show Louis that he was attracted to him in a way he had never been attracted to anyone else, but he had never had a chance to before that night. And god, was the wait worth it. That kiss… Was so much more than a kiss.

Drawing strength from those emotions, and letting his body use them to calm down, he pulled over to the side of the road and got out. “You don't get to be the hurt one,” Harry said, leaning against the back of his car, arms crossing over his chest. Then, he didn't look like Harry, he looked like one of those bad ass biker dudes your parents warn you about. The clenching of his jaw, muscles flexing in his biceps with every breath he took, and long legs that went on for miles crossed.

All he was missing was a leather jacket and a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“You don't get to act like the victim right now, Louis. You hurt my mom and you hurt me, and it's about damn time you face the consequences of your actions,” Harry said, face dropping into a scowl. “Nobody's here to save you now,”

Eyes, bloodshot and swollen flickered up and met Harry's. Like every other time he seen the boy cry, he felt the urge to run forward and envelope him in his arms and tell him everything would be fine, but his damn body would move a muscle, even if the urge was nearly impossible to ignore.

“I'm not acting like anything,” Louis said, voice wavering. He stood up from the bench and walked up to Harry, his every move echoing anxiety. He still wasn’t sure if Harry wanted to talk to him, or if he wanted to yell at him. It was most likely the latter, and Louis didn’t know if he was surprised because he was actually welcoming the idea of Harry, heated and angry, yelling at him, or if it was because of the tenderness that shone brightly in Harry’s emerald orbs when he had finally built up enough courage to look at him. “And I don’t need anyone to save me,”

Harry snorted, eyes shifting off of Louis’ because he knew all too well the boy could read him like a damn book, even when Harry tried his damndest to hide his emotions. He looked around the area that was surrounding them, taking note on the fact that they were alone aside from the few cars that passed every minute or so. “Mhhm,” Harry said, eyes scrunching as he thought over his words with extreme caution. “You don’t need to be saved?” It came out more of a question as he rubbed at his bottom lip with his pointer finger.

_Where the hell was this memo all those months ago when he risked his education, and freedom, to save Louis from the jock? From his family? From the assholes at his school?_

“No, I don’t, and you need to stop trying to save me. I appreciate all you have done for me, Harry, and I love you for it, but _stop_ trying to protect me from things. I can handle myself, I can handle the expense of college, and I can handle falling into debt if it means getting an education,” Louis said, voice breaking off before he added in a much softer, gentler one, “You may think you’re protecting me from the wolves by not letting me do anything without you, but you seem to have forgotten that I _am_ a wolf. I grew up in…”

“This isn’t about you, Louis. I am so sick of always talking about you! It’s always Louis this and Louis that, but when are we going to talk about me, hmm? When are we going to talk about the fact that I haven’t heard back from a college yet? Or the fact that my own father hasn’t talked to me since he found out I practically proposed to you? Or how I am still terrified of being with you because I have no idea who the fuck I am?” Harry’s voice was strained. “Are you even going to apologize for not only being a dick to me, but my mum too? She wants to help you, and you’re so hell bent on doing this by yourself that you didn’t take her feelings into consideration, did you?” Harry’s voice was booming, each word ricocheting around the few houses that surrounded them and giving the people around them a chance to hear what he was saying.

When silence stretched between them without Louis so much as blinking, Harry took that as his answer. “She isn’t trying to buy your love, Louis. She is only trying to help, because she knows what it’s like the be in debt so young! She knows how hard it is to try and balance work while attending college, and how stressful it is to watch as the debt collectors sink their claws further and further into you until all you are is a pile of skin stretched over bones with nothing left to live for,” Harry said, taking a deep, calming breath to calm the storm raging within him. “That’s why she offered. That’s why she’s always so persistent on buying you things.” His hand was waving in the air as he said that last sentence, his entire composure going from mildly relaxed to rigid once again.

Harry was trying to reign his emotions in and lock them behind a door nobody had a key to when Louis finally let out a shuddering breath and his shoulders fell. “I hurt her, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. And instead of staying to try and make things better, to talk it over with her, you ran away like you always do!” Harry was starting to get harsh, but everything he was saying was necessary. Louis needed to hear all of this, to see how he was acting from another point of view.

“I ran away because I…” watery eyes looked up and searched Harry’s face, trying to lock their eyes but he had no such luck. Harry’s head was bowed down, eyes cast to the ground as his stiff leg kicked tiny rocks around in the gutter. “I hurt you,” Louis said, feeling disappointed with himself. He had taught himself at a young age to think things through before he said anything, before he did anything, and tonight proved just how horrible of a learner and teacher he was.

Although Harry was mortified with the words that he spoke next, because they made him look weak, he didn’t stop himself, even when he felt the ashes on his tongue from the fire that still licked at the back of his throat. “Yeah, you did. Bringing up that in a fight isn’t okay, Louis, but what hurt me the most is that you _let me walk away._ No matter how pissed you were at me, or I you, I have _never_ let you walk away without me following right behind you,”

Louis looked up and watched as the mask fell away piece by piece before he was left staring at Harry. He watched as the expression within Harry’s emerald eyes went from blazing anger to heart-wrenching betrayal and pain. Louis’ mouth fell open, a gasp nearly falling from his lips but he quickly clamped his mouth shut and bit his lip. Unable to help himself, Louis went to take a step forward but a hand was held up and he was stopping dead in his tracks, head tilted ever so slightly.

Harry just told him that he let him walk away, so now he was trying to prove to him he was staying, yet Harry wouldn’t let him? “This isn’t going to be fixed with a hug,” Harry explained, hand dropping to his side when he felt his calm and patience slowly returning.

“Then what can I do? I don’t want you angry with me,” Louis eyes were pleading, his bottom lip wobbling. He stuffed his cold hand into the pocket of his pants and stood up straighter, spin stiffening, when Harry chuckled.

“We’re kind of past that, aren’t we?” Harry shook his head and pushed up off the car, arms crossing tightly over his chest. “You can’t do anything for me, Louis. If I forgive you later on, then so be it, but right now my mum is my main priority. You apologize to her, you make things right with her, then maybe we’ll talk,”

“That isn’t fair!” Louis argued, determination filling his eyes. “I always forgive you, Harry, so why the fuck can’t you forgive me for this one little mishape, huh?”

“That right there is why! You can’t admit it’s something bigger than you want to believe it is! If I said you couldn’t love me because you weren’t loved as a child, would you forgive me half an hour later?” Harry asked, face made of stone and eyes unblinking.

Louis stared at him blankly for a second, the gears in his mind working overtime as he tried to think of what to say, what to do, when Harry’s words registered. It annoyed him how much his words hurt because of how _true_ they were and how everything just now popped into place. No. He wouldn’t have forgave Harry, and his mouth popped open when he realized he had been so fucking stupid to think that he was to one being ‘bullied’ here, that he was the one who should be getting apologized to.

Louis looked away from Harry to hide the tear that filled his eye and the shame that he felt that was radiating off of him in waves that was no doubt crashing against Harry’s body. “No, I wouldn’t have,” he admitted, emotions still all over the place but he was trying to get them under control before he looked back at Harry, before he had to look into the eyes that scream betrayal and cut through his heart like tiny razor blades.

“Didn’t think so,” Harry said, voice barely above a low whisper. He inhaled deeply and twirled his car keys around his finger, quietly enjoying when a key hit into his knuckle and irritated the gashed and bruised skin.

Louis swallowed what little pride he had left and sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said, and that had the older teen shutting up. Harry had wanted to hear those words, didn’t he? The entire reason he had come here was to get Louis to apologize, yet he didn’t feel satisfied.

He then realized what else he wanted to hear when the words vibrated against his lips, threatening to be brought to life if he just simply let his lips part. But he kept them shut firmly, not willing to be the first one to say it.

_He refused._

Louis looked up at Harry and in that moment the two shared a look. Nearly two years later and they were just now learning how to speak without words. Harry cocked his head to the side, which wouldn’t have been noticeable, but Louis pays close attention to him all the time, and the corner of his lip twitched.

_Harry wasn’t ready to forgive him. He was willing to move past it for now in hopes it would get rid of this headache that was starting to form._

_And because of the fact that Louis looks about ready to collapse on the ground,_ his subconscious added, making Harry roll his eyes. Yeah, that too.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving,” Harry said, already turning around to walk to his side of the car without waiting for Louis to respond. He knew (hoped) Louis would follow him.

“Is she okay?” Louis asked when he set down in the car, making sure he sat as far away from Harry as he could so he didn’t upset the older teen.

“She will be,” Harry said, silently praying that that was true. His mum was an amazing woman, and she didn’t deserve to feel what Louis made her feel. He started to car and revved the engine twice before he pressed down on the gas pedal and the car was lurching forward. In no time at all he was driving well beyond the speed limit, but the rush he felt made it so he didn’t stop.

_He just kept going, hoping that he left all of his problems behind him in the dust._

~~~~

Louis sat down at the kitchen counter, the white paper in his hand crinkled from how tightly he was holding it. “Anne, can I talk to you?” He asked in a soft voice. He was afraid she wouldn't listen to him, or let him apologize.

Anne floated around the kitchen, keeping herself busy with cutting the carrots and garlic for dinner. Without turning around, or even letting on that she hard heard Louis, she said “Sure, Honey.” her voice had returned to normal and she no longer felt as hurt as she had earlier.

She was still incredibly hurt Louis had acted the way he had. She had known before even asking him he wouldn't take it well, but she had never imagined he would take it that bad. She only had the boys best interest at heart and wanted what was best for him.

“I want to apologize for the way I acted, and thank you for offering to help.” Louis said, fingers pulling at the edge of the paper. His chest was feeling tight and his heart was thrumming quickly in his chest and his palms were starting to feel damp as the room seemed to be closing in on him. He needed to calm down before it got worse and he had an anxiety attack, knowing it was only another shout away.

 _“No need to apologize, Love. You did nothing wrong,”_ was what Anne had wanted to say, just to put the boy out of his misery, but her damn mouth wouldn't let her. Having a son like Harry, she learned long ago time ago not to keep anything to herself, and for her to voice her disapproval. “You're damn right you should be sorry. I was willing to drop it after you said no the first time, but you and Harry kept running your damn mouths,” Anne shook her head and began to take her frustration out on the poor garlic. “You need to understand that getting ornery with me isn't going to help you. I want to help you, but I'm not going to if you can't respect me,”

_Respect. Asking for it wasn't asking for much, but respect is earned. And as far as Anne is concerned, she has done more than necessary to earn the respect she's asking for from Louis._

“I respect you and your wishes, and I always have. You don't want my help with your tuition, then that's fine. I won't offer it again, but the offer will always be on the table,” turning around and pointing her knife at Louis, Anne squinted her eyes. “And I know your relationship with Harry is none of my business, but I strongly recommend not to pull another stunt like the one you did earlier. Harry is fragile, even if he doesn't care to admit it.”

Anne didn't mean to bring up what had happened between Louis and Harry, but she couldn't resist pushing down her mama bear when Harry’s face flashed through her mind.

Then she felt her mama bear lashing out at herself when she seen Louis’ face. He looked like a stunned, injured puppy. “Oh honey, I'm sorry,” leaving behind her mess of garlic and carrots, she walked over to Louis and wrapped him in a tight hug, letting him bury his head in her shoulder.

“I don't want you guys to think I'm just here because you guys have money,” Louis admitted. He wrapped his arms tighter around Anne, feeling just a little bit better because all he had needed was a hug, and Harry wasn't going to give him one.

“Oh Louis, we would never think that. No amount of money in the world would ever be enough to put up with not only Harry, but our entire family. You may not know this, but Harry is sane in comparison to the rest of our family,”

“I've met Claire,” Louis reminded her, feeling the tension leaving his shoulders when Anne laughed.

“My sisters something else,” Anne said, Louis humming in agreement.

“Will he ever forgive me?” Louis asked after a few seconds past with him listening to Anne’s steady heartbeat.

“Give him time, Love. From what I've seen, that boy is lost without you. In a few days you'll be back to the old married couple bickering about the dead grass and water expenses.”

Pulling back and laughing softly, Louis wiped the tears away from his eyes. “Harry… um, he told me Mr. Sty.. Erm, Desmond hasn't talk to him since he um…” Louis rubbed the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable. “Told him about giving me a promise ring,”

Anne sighed and shook her head, sadness sweeping over her features before she quickly covered it with a fake smile. Her ex husband was a dick and she has fought tooth and nail with him to just accept Harry, but he never did, and it was sad to see her son grow up knowing his father didn't accept who he was with, but she didn't need to worry Louis any further. “He's been away on business,” she lied without hesitation, “he hasn't been able to take calls and won't be for a while,”

Louis bit his lip and nodded, believing the bullshit she was feeding him. “Have you told Harry that? He thinks his dad is ignoring him,”

Anne shook her head and pecked Louis’ forehead in a motherly way. “Don't worry about Harry and his father, Honey. They'll work it out,” she brushed his hair out of his face and smiled when she seen he had a little more color in his cheeks.

“I hope,” he said, sighing deeply. He leaned his elbow on the table and when he heard a slight crinkle of paper, he remembered what he had wanted to tell Anne. His mind had been taken off of it when he apologized to her, even though it was really big news. “I um, found out something when I left,”

Anne, who was back to cooking dinner, looked over her head and hummed, then asked “What’s that, dear?”

Louis took in a deep breath and picked up the paper, the same excitement he had felt when he read all the way through it to first time flooding through his body. “I read through the acceptance letter all the way, and The University of Oxford is offering me an academic scholarship. They're willing to pay for all four years, with room and books included.” Louis said, hoping Anne wouldn't be offended that he was willing to accept a scholarship, but not her money.

Anne beamed brightly, her excitement for him genuine. “That's great!” She exclaimed. “You're going to accept it, aren't you?”

“Of course!” Louis reassured her, smile never wavering. “I figured that it's the least they can do. I've already busted my ass through twelve years of school. It's about time they pay, even if it's for the last four years,”

“I'm happy for you, Hun. Does Harry know?” Anne scraped the garlic into the pan with the beef, a mouth-watering aroma soon floating around the kitchen.

Louis, at the mention of Harry’s name, looked down at the spotless counter and shook his head. “It didn't come up,”

“Harry knows,” a voice interjected, startling both Anne and Louis. They looked towards the entrance of the kitchen and seen Harry leaning against the door frame, looking less pissed off then he had the last time either of them had seen him.

“H-How long have you been standing there?” Louis asked, stuttering and flushing a dark red color. He didn't want Harry to get angry with him for asking Anne about Desmond.

“What's that, dear?” Harry said, rolling his eyes. He pushed off the doorframe and walked over to where Louis was, stopping on the side of him. He peered over Louis’ shoulder, eyes quickly skimming over the paper. “Oxford will be lucky to have you,” he said with a nod of his head, his eyes betraying his neutral face and shining with excitement and pride.

Louis, melting at the look, nodded his head and smiled. “That they will,”

Harry rolled his eyes and finally, a smile broke out on his face and he nudged Louis with his shoulder. “Should we be roomies?” He joked, but Louis knew he meant it when he seen the way Harry’s smile faltered with the fear of rejection.

“If you bring the handcuffs,” Louis shot back, winking at Harry. “Wait, you're going to Oxford!?!” Louis squeaked, eyes widening a little. He waited anxiously for Harry to either deny it or confirm it. His heart squeezed in his chest when Harry smiled a lopsided, boyish smile and nodded.

“Robin’s friends with the Dean. Jonathan promised years ago that when the time came, he'd save a spot for me in his school in case I changed my mind and decided to actually further my education.” Shrugging, Harry smiled over at Anne. “So mum told Robin to tell him the spot would be filled. I think we gave Jonathan a heart attack.”

“Poor man had to have his wife drive him his inhaler,” Anne confirmed, sympathy lacing her words.

Louis snorted and smiled fondly up at Harry. “You'll be a serial killer when word leaks you're going to college,” Louis teased, eyes round and shining.

“Handcuffs, Louis. We have handcuffs,” both boys laughed and the fact that they were supposed to be ignoring each other was momentarily forgotten.

“You guys didn't have him accept me… Did you?” Louis asked, feeling ridiculous for even asking but he couldn't help himself. It was something he wouldn't put past Anne or Harry.

“No!” Harry and Anne said in unison. “You got into Oxford by yourself. We wouldn't think of doing such a thing,” Anne said, looking honestly offended that Louis would think such a thing.

“Jonathan doesn't even know Robin knows you yet,” Harry said, wrapping his arm around Louis’ back. He tensed for a minute, not going unnoticed by Harry, then relaxed into his hold. Neither one of them had realized how much they missed this simple contact.

“I'm sorry,” Louis said, feeling as if that was the millionth time he has apologized today.

Shooting Louis a stern but playful look, Anne waved her spatula at him. “Set the table and all is forgiven.”

Both boys began to grumble, easily falling back into their old habits. Despite the amount of complaining they did, they both happily set the table, each taking turns playfully hip bumping the other or messing up the work the other did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs I listened to this chapter:
> 
> In no time By Mutemath  
> The highest tide By The Wealthy West  
> And  
> I hate everything about you by Three Days Grace.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter is highly unedited. By the time I finish each chapter I have little to no time to read through it and edit it. I really should start looking for a beta. Oops. Haha. Well, I bring you chapter ten. This chapter, as well as the next, are going to be... sort of cute. The next one will have lots of fluff in it. And I have already laid out the next few chapters, so I thought I would let you guys know that before we reach the 20 chapter mark, they will be done with High school and already making plans for college and their rooms. This story has had a slow beginning, and I apologize for that, but within the next few chapters things will start moving more quickly and by the end of the book, I promise you will not be able to wait for book three! Well, now that I have said what I needed to, I will let you get to reading!  
> (Just a quick note. THANK YOU to everyone who takes the time to read, comment, and leave kudos on my work. I honestly LOVE you ALL. It means soo much to me!)
> 
> Much love, Xx

_Louis stared up at the ceiling, his hand absentmindedly rubbing along his stomach, fingers just barely ghosting. Thoughts whirled around in his mind; Harry, college, tuition, and Harry again. Fighting hasn’t been a new thing to them, but this fight, if it could even be called that, seemed to leave the air around them tense when they were alone. The words that needed to be said hovered over both of them like a suffocating black cloud, waiting for the right moment to combust._

_Louis already felt as if he was drowning from guilt. He had acted irrationally before; said things he would never say in his right mind and did something he knew had hurt Harry more than the words spoken. After Harry had picked him up at the bus stop, Louis remembered what Harry had told him and made it a point to remember all the times he had stormed out of a room. Rather it be from anger, jealousy, or simply because he was being a child and annoyed Harry, so he left the room laughing his ass off and tried to run as far away from Harry as he could._

_Each and every memory he recalled, always ended the same. Harry would run out of the room after Louis and he would either be hefted up over his shoulder, grabbed around the waist and hauled backwards into a hard, firm chest, or shoved into a wall and pinned in place with hips. He never let him walk away, and Louis had to swallow back the string of apologies that danced on his tongue._

_Harry didn’t want an apology. He needed to see that Louis was sorry. Louis could easily lie with his words, and although that has never really been a problem with their relationship, he knew that Harry responded better to physical apologizes, to words that never once were spoken out loud, but were instead said through a simple brush of his small hand, or even a few small kisses or some other small gesture._

_So that’s exactly what Louis did when Harry entered the room after taking a shower. His heart jumped and a wave of fear lapped at his feet, threatening to pull him under if he didn’t act quickly. So, as soon as Harry got dressed, Louis having a hard time keeping his eyes pinned on the ceiling rather than Harry’s small bum, and set down on the bed, the smaller of the two boys didn’t give the larger one a chance to react before he was throwing his leg over his torso and pulling himself up, his bum resting in Harry’s lap and his hands fisting the shirt on Harry’s chest._

_Funny, he thought, Harry usually never wears shirts to bed. Shoving off the thought, Louis squoze his thighs tightly, trapping Harry’s hips, and grabbed Harry’s arms and pinned them above Harry’s head, his grip tight but both knew if Harry so much as flexed his hand, Louis’ hands would lose their grip and Harry would be set free._

_But he didn’t. He choose to freeze instead, his entire body becoming a board beneath Louis’. “Hazza?” Louis asked softly, eyes trying to lock with Harry’s but Harry looked everywhere, green eyes refusing to meet his._

_Louis swallowed back the hurt he felt and inhaled deeply. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine, but listen,” when Harry didn’t do anything but grunt softly, Louis took that as he was listening and squirmed a little, his heels hooking beneath the crook of Harry’s knees and his arse scooting so it now rested on Harry’s belly. And don’t think he missed the way Harry’s nostrils flared and his jaw clench._

_“I’ve been alone all my life. N-Nobody has ever wanted to help me. I used to think I-I…. that there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t like everybody else. I was… I was different. And it wasn’t until I met you that I realized that different doesn’t necessarily mean bad. It means that you’re unique, and in a world like the one we live in today, that is a hard thing to find… ugh… argh,” Louis let go of Harry’s hand long enough to scrub at his eye with the palm of his hand. He was getting off track. He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes, imagining the words that were slamming around in his skull._

_“What i’m trying to say is; help isn’t something I accept easily. If not for the simple fact that it is foreign for me, then for the fact that nothing is ever free. Everything you do, you choose, has a consequence. And I didn’t want to risk letting your mum pay for my tuition because everything always blows up in my face and I didn’t want to lose what I have here,” then, added in a small breath, “with you,”_

_For some reason unknown to Louis, Harry’s head slowly turned, green orbs instantly finding Louis’ like they were magnets. “You wouldn’t lose me over some stupid bullshit,” he snarked, chin jutting out in a way that said I-dare-you-to-argue-with-me._

_But like always, Louis’ rational side seemed to be missing and he leaned down ever so slightly, just enough that Harry noticed, but not enough to make it so their chests were touching. Here, though, their breathes twirled and mixed, strawberry with mint. “Wouldn’t it have been stupid of me to risk it, though?” he asked, “I’m the good boy, remember? The one who follows the rules. You’re the bad boy who breaks them and takes risks others wouldn’t, the instigator who is never up to any good,”_

_Harry wrinkled his nose a little, but didn’t disagree. “Whatever,” he sighed, irritated. “Can you move?” Harry began to squirm beneath Louis, jostling the boy's body as he tried to get free. Louis smiled smugly because it wasn’t working. He was dead weight right now, and unless Harry grabbed his arms or waist and flipped them over, he wasn’t going anywhere._

_As if Harry could read Louis’ thoughts, he broke Louis’ hold on his hands and just as his hands were about to close around Louis’ hips, the boy quickly grabbed his wrists and dug his fingernails into the soft part on the underside of his wrist. “Wait, I’m not finished,” Louis pleaded, hips instinctively shoving down harder on Harry’s stomach._

_“I am,” he tried once again to shake Louis’ hands off, but hissed when the fingernails dug deeper. Realizing it was a worthless attempt, he sunk back into the mattress and glared up at Louis, his eyes black in the nearly dark room. “If you’re going to talk, get on with it,” he made a hand gesture with both of their hands, telling him to continue._

_“What I’m trying to tell you,” Louis hissed, leaning down a tad more so his nose almost touched Harry’s. He could feel Harry’s chest beneath his, closer and closer with every breath he took. If he just leaned down a little more.. Like that.. Oops. Their chests collided and Harry hissed, eyes going into slits as he stared at Louis, trying to read between the lines in Louis’ eyes and see if he was up to anything. “Is that I am tired of fighting. That’s all we’ve been doing,” he snorted, “at least we know we’re good at it.”_

_Harry didn’t respond, but his glare was enough to let on that he didn’t find any of this amusing in the slightest. Sobering up quickly, the last giggle dying on his lips, Louis straightened his back, way too aware of how his butt nudged against Harry’s dick from the movement, and quickly spoke to hide his small gasp. “If I agree to let you… I don’t know… urm…” he broke off, at a loss for what Harry could possibly want him to do that would make this problem go away. Then the idea came and Louis smiled brightly, proudly. “If I let you talk to the Dean and make it so we are roommates, can we forget about today?” Harry pursed his lips, and just for good measures, Louis added, “Please?” to soften him up further._

_He didn’t mind being roomies with Harry, honestly. It meant hot college sex whenever he wanted it without having to worry about their roommate waking up. Who wouldn’t love it? But then again, it wasn’t just that reason he agreed to bunk with Harry. He hasn’t been away from him since they moved in together. He hasn’t slept in a separate bed, even when they were fighting, and he could already feel how hollow he was becoming at just the thought, at how lonely he would quickly become._

_Admitting that to Harry is an entirely different conversation._

_He gulped, adams apple visibly bobbing, when he looked down and seen Harry was lost in thought, lips pursed thoughtfully and eyes staring up at him, but unseeing. The look gave him this unsettling feeling, and his stomach tied itself into knots with worry. Harry could decline his offer, and still make it so they were roommates. He didn’t need Louis’ approval, and that scared Louis because he honestly had no leverage. Harry could go either way right now, and he feared that he was leaning more towards the ‘no’ side. It wasn’t like Harry ever did anything that didn’t benefit himself._

_A few seconds later, Harry came back and blinked a few times, then shrugged. “Nope,” he murmured, his dimple popping out a few seconds later when he felt Louis tense above him. “Buttt,” he began, “I will think about what I want, and whatever that may be, you have to agree to it no matter what it is. But, in the meantime, we can…” he froze at the word and gestured at the room once again, like that was all that needed to be said, “move on,”_

_Louis suddenly kissed him- pressed him back into the bed and crashed their mouths together. Harry resisted at first, because he was taken off guard by the passion behind the kiss, but he surrendered as soon as Louis let go of his wrists in favor of grabbing hand fulls of his damp hair. Hands slid down Louis’ back and stopped at his hips, fingers curling there with his thumb slipping underneath the waistband of Louis’ sweatpants. They both shivered, and Louis pulled back long enough to whisper “I love you,” before he ducked his head back down._

_Tugging Harry’s head off to the side a little, Louis licked a small line from Harry’s adam apple, up to the shell of his ear, then he began to place small kisses and nips along his jaw. The fear of what Harry could possibly want him to do was forgotten and all he was focused on now was the way Harry’s body reacted to his, the way his skin tasted of soap and the familiar sweet taste Louis could only explain as_ Harry _. Hips were pressed up against his butt, Harry’s head was thrown back, and a small, barely audible whimper left Harry’s lips._

_That surged Louis’ to go further, to do more even though he has never really been the dominant one, aside from a very rare few times. Doing as Harry has done to him, he nipped at Harry’s pulse point before his teeth closed around it, followed by his lips. He sucked hard for a second, Harry groaning in response and rocking his hips, and then ran his tongue over the trapped skin, soothing it before he moved up a fraction of an inch and began to process all over again._

_All the while, Harry’s hands were roaming Louis’ body. His hands slid beneath the cotton shirt and his finger’s eagerly moved over the smooth skin. The territory that he has already become more than familiar with was explored all over again, feeling as if this was the first time he has ever touched Louis, like this body belonged to a complete stranger and it turned Harry on even more._

_Louis kept one hand laced in Harry’s hair, fingers firmly tugging at the strands but not hard enough to hurt him, though he did extract whimpers and moans, and moved his other down the length of Harry’s body. His hand moved to hover over his groin, and it took him only a second on deciding if Harry really wanted this before he began to palm the already hard length._

_Through the loose fitting pajama pants Harry wore, he could feel the veins throbbing, feel as his length seemed to thicken even further. Harry moaned loudly at the friction and thrust his hips up further, then repeated the process and whimpered. Louis marveled at how Harry was coming undone, at how Harry only trusted Louis enough to do this, to give him complete access to his body without having control of what he was to do. Then Louis suddenly pulled back, licking his red, swollen lips and looked down at Harry, the blues in his eyes just a small, barely visible ring around the black of his pupil. “Harry?”_

_“Not this again,” Harry groaned, throwing his head back against the pillows. He took a deep breath and his face contorted for a second as he tried to hide the annoyance he felt right now. “What?”_

_Louis bit his lip, the tips of his ears burning bright red, before he shook his head. “Nevermind.” He wiggled his way down Harry’s body, then fit one knee between Harry’s thighs and bumped them open far enough so he could slot himself between them. He ignored the warmth that began to pool in the bottom of his stomach. He could feel himself already becoming hard, despite having little to no contact down there, but he didn’t want to get any sort of release. It was his own way of punishing himself, almost. He didn’t want to feel good after making two people feel bad today, even if he had already been forgiven for the most part._

_Kneeling in place, with Harry’s legs on either side of his body; stretched far enough his toes almost reached the end of the bed, Louis ignored Harry asking him, “What the hell were you going to say?” and instead dipped his hand below the waistband of Harry’s pajama bottoms and with a deep breath, wrapped his hand around Harry’s cock._

_Anything Harry wanted to say after that, was gone. The irritation he felt over the fact that Louis wouldn’t talk to him vanished and in it’s place was the sound of ocean’s crashing against the shore as his body bowed off the bed, searching for more, eager for the small hand to move._

_Louis licked his lips and swallowed thickly before bowing his head. He pushed what he wanted to ask Harry out of his head, deciding it would best to speak about it in a less… intimate setting, and bowed his head. Harry grunted and his hips jerked when Louis popped the tip of his cock into his mouth, nose wrinkling at the bitter taste of the precum. He wasn’t a big fan of it, and Harry knew that, but Louis pressed down his gag reflex and in one swallow, Harry’s entire length was down his throat._

_“Argh, jesus Louis,” Harry moaned, hands finding the soft nest of chestnut hair. He tugged at it harshly, but managed to resist the urge to thrust up._

_Louis adjusted to his length for only a second, eyes pricking with tears, before he dared move. And when he pulled back before swallowing the length again, his eyes flickered up and he found Harry’s blackened eyes fixed on him, just staring. Embarrassment flared his cheeks. He probably looked ridiculous right now. His hair a mess with two hands fisting it, eyes bright blue with tears trickling down the sides of his cheek, the saline mixture leaving a trail in it’s wake, and swollen red lips wrapped around Harry’s dick. It had never occurred to him that he would look hot, so his heart thumped in surprise against his chest when he heard a soft thump._

_Curious, he let his eyes move up the length of Harry’s body and land on the face slack with pleasure. Harry had let his head fall back and from moving too much, he had slid up a little so the top of his head hit the wall. Snorting, and thankful that his mouth was too preoccupied right now to make fun of Harry, he closed his eyes and focused on the task at hand._

_He hollowed his cheeks and pulled up, his tongue swirling around the tip carefully before he pushed back down. This time when he pulled up, he dipped his tongue into Harry’s tip, then pushed back down, letting his tongue trace the underside of Harry’s cock. He knew he must be doing something incredibly right because Harry, who was usually so quiet and composed, was whimpering and moaning, his body withering at the smallest of touches. The sounds were so strange, so foreign coming from Harry, but they all sounded so hot to Louis._

_Pulling up for a quick breath, Louis’ hand began to pump Harry’s length while his other one began to tug at the pants. Getting the hint, Harry loosened his hold on Louis’ hair long enough to help push his pants down to the crook of his knees. Louis let go of Harry’s cock long enough to stand up, step over the pants, then he pushed them off the rest of the way and took his original place once again._

_Sliding down just a little more, Louis braced his right elbow on the side of Harry’s body, near his hip, and used his other hand to stroke him slowly, but fast enough to get those delicious moans from Harry again. Louis began to place gentle kisses on the inside of Harry’s thighs, his lips scraping against the rough hair. He enjoyed the feeling and nuzzled his cheek against it before he slipped over to the other thigh, teeth nipping and lips sucking their way up to the place that really counted._

_He mustered up as much courage as he could and with one last deep breath, he leaned forward and sucked one of Harry’s balls into his mouth. The reaction he got wasn’t one he expected, but it was enjoyed. Harry moaned loudly, the noise broken, and his back arched just before he thrust his cock up into Louis’ hand. Grinning, Louis sucked it testingly, pleased that it tasted like soap. He swirled his tongue around it, trying to duplicate some of the things he has seen on the porn website he stumbled upon a while ago. Harry’s explosive exhale signaled success, and he let the ball drop from his mouth so that he could treat the other testicle to the same teasing._

_Harry made a low sound in the back of his throat, something needy that had blood flowing to the wrong areas of Louis’ body. Knowing damn well that he would have blue balls tonight, but not caring because he thought he deserved it, Louis pulled up from his previous position and scooted back up. He leaned up the length of Harry’s body, finding it magnificent and arousing the way his chest heaved as he forced oxygen into his lungs, all because of Louis, and he slipped his hand behind Harry’s head, pulling him up. Harry grunted at the sudden movement, but then his lips eagerly crashed against Louis’ when he realized why he was moved. Both tongues fought for dominance, but Louis eventually won and he ran his teeth along the inside of Harry’s cheeks, then over his gums before repeating the process, his hand never once stopping the faster paced rhythm he had picked up._

_Louis tasted mint from his toothpaste and nothing else. Harry suddenly arched and threw his head back, a low pitched moan falling from his lips. His eyes were shut tightly, and Louis tipped his head to the side before he furrowed his eyebrows and, not exactly knowing if he was doing it right or if it was even to right place, Louis ran the fingernail on his thumb underneath the head of Harry’s cock, where the sweet spot was supposed to be._

_A gasp, followed by hips sloppily thrusting up, made Louis grin and do it again. An uncensored “Oh my fucking god, Louis,” fell from Harry’s lips, and Louis replied by dipping his finger in the slit, collecting the small droplets of precum, and spreading it over Harry’s shaft before he picked up speed. He squoze when he thought was necessary and kept the pace fast, but not too quick. He could feel the pressure building, spread out in searing heat all through his groin and abdomen despite the fact that his cock hasn’t been paid attention to all night. The build up was torturous, because he knew he would never get the satisfaction of release. He wouldn’t allow himself to, even if his cock was aching painfully in the confined cotton of his sweatpants, the material becoming slick with his own precum._

_He tried shaking off his own arousal, tried pushing it back down and focusing on the task at hand once again, but his cock was angry and it was making sure he knew it. Louis gritted his teeth and picked up speed, his wrist jerking and twisting every few seconds that made pleasure shoot throughout Harry’s body, searing all the nerves and leaving him with only the faintest feeling of touch._

_Louis watched Harry’s face the last few seconds before he came undone. His mouth feel open, his eyebrows furrowed and his face scrunched like he was in pain, but the arch of Harry’s back, the ridiculously loud moan, and the spurts of semen that splattered across the back of Louis’ hand and Harry’s stomach were obvious signs that looks can be deceiving. Louis tucked his head in Harry’s neck, nosing at the soft space and inhaling the fresh scent. He continued pumping Harry, riding him through his orgasm and only let go of his soft cock when he felt Harry’s body become boneless beneath his._

_Harry had no want nor intention of moving. His entire body was glowing with the aftereffects of an orgasm, so Louis took it upon himself to get him cleaned up. He adjusted himself as he walked into the bathroom, and splashed cold water on his pale face before he returned to the bedroom with a damp washcloth in hand. He wiped the semen off of his hand before he cleaned up Harry, though the shirt was a goner so he simply made Harry sit up so he could take it off, then he threw it, and the towel, in the dirty laundry basket in the bathroom._

_When all that was taken care of, Louis maneuvered Harry’s legs and pulled the blanket out from underneath him, then covered his body with it, tucking the corners around his shoulders. It was amusing that for once he was taking care of Harry. The roles were usually switched, but it felt nice and Louis filed this feeling off in a locked cabinet in his head, then climbed into bed with Harry._

_He ignored to urge to have a furious wank, and instead curled his hands under his head, his body curling in the same manner. He was left lying in a fetal position, knees crushed against his chest and his forehead grazing his knees. His cock was sandwiched between his body, making him hiss because it was some sort of friction._

_“What ‘bout you,” Harry slurred, drunk on the aftermath of a great orgasm._

_Louis shrugged, internally kicking himself because Harry couldn’t see him, then offered, “I’m fine, go to sleep,” and that was all Harry needed. He didn’t even put up an argument. Not even a minute later Louis heard soft snores escaping Harry’s lips, and it wasn’t until then that he let his body relax. Harry had been tired, the bags under his eyes were obvious, and Louis was thankful he helped him fall into a peaceful sleep._

_Harry did too much for Louis. It was about time the other boy did something in return._

_With one last, lingering gaze on Harry’s face, his mouth slightly open, his hair fanned out around him, and his eyebrows smoothed down, Louis rolled onto his other side and sighed. The question he had wanted to ask Harry resurfaced, and with it rolling around in his mind, as well as possible things he could do, or get him, Louis drifted off into a fitful sleep full of a displeased Harry opening Louis’ horrible present._

_Ahh, birthday’s are always fun._

_~~~~~_

January 31 was always a lovely day. Ha! Yeah, and so is December 23. Louis snorted and rolled his eyes, not at all happy with the situation he was in. He had forgot completely what day it was until his phone, the stupid thing, reminded him that in twenty four hours, it was Harry’s birthday. It had, so very kindly, reminded him just before Louis had attacked Harry and coaxed an orgasm out of him.

He didn’t understand how he had forgotten. He has been excited about it considering last year he didn’t get to celebrate Harry’s birthday with him.. He had plans, too. But all of them were no good now because they all needed at least a week ahead for planning. Which, go figure, he couldn’t do.

“We can do a party,” Louis suggested to the woman sitting across from him, a cup of tea in her hands as well. They had both been up for at least an hour and decided the problem at hand was best discussed over a warm cup of tea. Louis had been nursing his, afraid to drink more than a sip at a time because he had an upset stomach. “We could invite Niall and some of your family.”

Anne looked around the room, to make sure Harry wasn’t anywhere near even though he hasn’t even woken up yet, then rolled her eyes. “Harry agreeing to a party is like Harry agreeing to a haircut; never going to happen.” That was beyond true, but Anne knew the party was the only good idea they had come up with. They have thrown ideas out there, many that were great, but with so little timing, they had all been shot down.

Louis pondered over her response and bit back the remark that he could get Harry to agree to a party because well, he could be very persuasive if he wanted to be. Anne was his mother, and she obviously knew more about Harry than Louis did, even if Harry would disagree. “Then let’s do a surprise one! Harry can’t throw a fit about it with all those people there,” even as he said it, Louis knew how ridiculous he sounded. Harry could, and would, make a scene anywhere, in front of anyone, if he was tempted enough.

Anne shrugged. “It’s worth it, isn’t it?”

Louis looked up at her, then back down at his cup of murky water. “I guess,” he sighed. “I had wanted to do something he would want but I just.. I forgot. A party is at least something, and if he wants to get pissed off about it, then he can.” Louis had already decided what they were going to do, no matter to repercussions. Harry would get pissed, yell, cause a scene, then he would become putty in Louis’ hands later that night and all would be forgiven.

He tried to hide the guilt he felt over forgetting how close Harry’s birthday actually was. The stress of school and college was the only constant thing in his mind right now. Well, it had been. At least now that he got into the college he wanted, he could focus on his social life more. Which meant his life with Harry, because that's the only person he really socializes with.

Anne nodded, lips pursed as she thought for a second. “I’ll give you my credit card and you could go out and get the decorations in a few hours, then we can set them up later tonight or even tomorrow morning. I'll excuse you both from school, like I do Harry every year.” At the curious look Louis gave her, Anne sighed and took a sip of her tea before explaining, “Harry always skips school on his birthday, and the day before, so he can go out and..” Anne paused and her hand rubbed the back of her neck. “I actually don’t know what he does. But i’m sure he isn’t up to any good,”

Louis’ body deflated at the comment on Harry skipping school, but he hid his disappointment behind a well put together fake smile. “Isn’t he always?” he joked, then he figured he needed to be serious and jumped into the plan he suddenly had. Anne listened eagerly and nodded when needed, but didn’t say anything unless she needed to.

Ten minutes later, the two had come up with the perfect party, and guest list, that would be small enough to not upset Harry, but big enough to let him know people cared.

Louis then excused himself from the table, seeing as it was nearly seven thirty in the morning, and wandered upstairs to wake up Mr. I-don’t-like-mornings-and-will-murder-you. He debated on whether or not he wanted to wake Harry up and deal with him complaining about not being able to sleep in, especially since they were skipping school. But then the idea of spending another three hours without any company didn’t seem too appealing to him, so he set down on the bed, right next to Harry’s hips, and leaned forward, eyes tracing the strong features on Harry’s sleeping face. Even in his sleep, he was dominating the room.

Smiling softly at his sleeping… beauty? Harry would strangle him if Louis ever called him that out loud, but it fit him. A secret smile tugging at his lips because, yeah, Harry definitely was his sleeping beauty, Louis braced his arm by Harry’s shoulder for support. He placed a soft kiss on Harry’s nose, then each eyelid, then his cheeks and forehead and chin before he let their lips meet. Harry was stirring by then and when his sleepy green eyes fluttered opened, he smiled against Louis’ mouth and deepened the kiss for a second before pulling back and yawning.

“What time is it?” he asked, palming at his eyes to try and get rid of the sleepiness that still tugged at his eyelids.

“Seven thirty,” Louis said softly, fingers absentmindedly brushing a loose curl off of Harry’s forehead.  _His eyes are so pretty in the morning when they’re glossed over from sleep. They looked like a mossy rock hidden beneath the water, reflecting the person’s face in the glossy waves_. Clearing his throat and scooting back to create some distance because he really didn’t need Harry to ask him what the hell was going on, because he would definitely crumble beneath the weight, Louis let his eyes fall to Harry’s chin.  _The only place he could look on Harry’s face without thinking nasty things, or sappy things._ “Anne is excusing us from school,” at the widening of Harry’s eyes, followed by a bright flare of anger, Louis quickly added, “But, I need to go shopping for some things and was wondering if you wanted to go,” he lied, the real reason he woke Harry up hidden behind his droopy eyes. He cringed when he realized how stupid he was, though, for not admitting the truth. Harry wouldn’t have cared if he said he just wanted to spend time with him. However, Harry would care when he seen all the birthday shit Louis was buying. He just needed to be sneaky today while playing it cool so Harry didn’t figure out what was going on.

_Yeah. Louis and sneaky in the same sentence. Nothing can go wrong._

Harry narrowed his eyes. “What kind of things?”

Louis swallowed thickly and shrugged, hand waving at something in the distance as he stumbled over the words in his brain, trying to put enough in a sentence to form a good excuse. “Urm,” he bit his lip and clamped his hands in his lap.  _Shit. He was going to get caught._ “Panties. I need more panties and some shampoo and stuff,”

He smiled smugly. That was actually a good excuse, if Harry didn’t check the shower for Louis’ half full bottle of shampoo. The panties weren’t necessarily an excuse. He really did need some new ones, because all of his other ones were dirty and he refused to wash them with all their other clothes. Well, he didn’t actually refuse to wash them, because he would. He just didn’t want Anne to. And every time he tried to wash his own laundry, the woman took the basket from him and insisted he let her wash them.  _Note to self; wash clothes when Anne is at work._

Harry’s eyes continued to scrutinize Louis, eyes prying past the layer of skin to dig deeper. Then he smiled, dimples popping out. Apparently he didn’t see anything behind the poorly concealed mask. “I get to get as many as I want,” Harry said, teeth making an appearance. “And, I get to pick out the designs,”

Rolling his eyes, Louis dug his chin into his chest to hide the smile that began to tug at his lips. Harry was such a child when it came to these things. He got all excited and it was hard to keep him away from the panty aisle, much like the struggle a mother went through when trying to drag her child away from a toy aisle. It was adorable, really. But Louis would never admit that. “Fine,”

“I also want a doughnut.”

“It’s not even eight in the morning!”

Harry shrugged. “No fried fat covered in sugary, teeth rotting chocolate, then no store,”

Louis gaped at him, mouth opening and closing, mirroring a fish out of water. Finally, he clamped his mouth shut and smirked. “Fine. Get your damn doughnuts. Shove as many as you can down your throat, but remember, you won’t have abs for much longer,”

Harry glared and threw a pillow at Louis, which hit the boy right in the face. “Shut it! You love my handles. What else would you hold on to?”

Louis snorted, throwing the pillow onto his side of the bed, and didn’t justify Harry’s comment with a response. Harry and handles in the same sentence? Yeah. And pigs can fly and unicorns  _aren’t_ real. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on Harry’s body. Louis, on the other hand, could afford to lose a few pounds. Maybe he could start skipping out on meals again.

Shaking the thoughts off, Louis hopped up from the bed and busied himself by grabbing Harry a pair of boxers and socks. He didn’t like the idea of starving himself.. Before, it wasn’t really an option. No money equals no food and no food equals losing weight. But now, he was fed more than the freaking queen of england. “Shower. Now,” Louis turned around, Harry’s boxers and socks tucked in the crook of his arm, and pointed towards the open bathroom door.

Harry frowned at him, and mumbled a few things under his breath that sounded a lot like insults and a couple of threats, but climbed out of the bed and went into the bathroom nonetheless, leaving a blushing Louis behind. He had morning wood, yet didn’t move to cover it up.

Sighing, Louis followed after him and quickly disposed the items in his arms on the counter and went into the closet to get their clothes for the day. Earlier this morning, after he had woke up and couldn’t fall back to sleep, he took a quick shower and put on an old pair of sweatpants and a oversized t-shirt that was shoved in the back of Harry’s dresser. It would be too short lengthwise for Harry now, but it fit Louis perfectly, and he didn’t plan on returning it.

Ignoring the temptation to go and join Harry when he heard the water turn on, Louis quickly became engrossed in the clothes. He picked him out a loose fitting blue sweatshirt, with a simple white shirt underneath, paired with grey skinny jeans and his white converse. He got dressed, and even pulled on his shoes, then picked out Harry’s outfit. He grabbed a blue and red flannel button up shirt, with a white undershirt, and a pair of his black skinny jeans. He had a bit of trouble picking out shoes, but eventually decided on a plain black pair of vans.

When he entered the steamy bathroom, Harry was just stepping out of the shower. Scurrying over to the counter, Louis handed him the white fluffy towel. “Clothes, shoes, hairbrush, toothbrush,” Louis pointed at each individual pile, like Harry didn’t know what they were.

“Yeah, yeah, and there’s a dweeb,” Harry pointed at him, a lazy smirk on his lips that had Louis’ heart fluttering. Louis swatted Harry’s hand away and took a step towards him. He leaned up on his tippy toes, lips ghosting over Harry’s and when the taller of the two leaned down to press their lips together, Louis pulled back with a laugh.

“Nice try, Styles, but you’re not getting handsy with this dweeb,” Louis said, smirking devilishly up at him before he walked out of the bathroom and just set on the edge of the bed, feet dangling inches off the floor. Not going to school meant that he really didn’t have anything to prepare for. Their school stuff was thrown carelessly in the corner of their room, Louis’ black bag open. Sticking out of the top was a worn out old book he had stole from Jen’s classroom.

Eyeing the bathroom door, and ears straining to hear of any sign of Harry coming out soon, Louis stood up off the bed and walked over to his bag to grab the book. Harry would take at least another half an hour in the bathroom combing out his hair and shaving, and Anne was downstairs making breakfast, so the book was the best option he had at keeping himself entertained. There was always the option of Gemma, but there was no doubt she was asleep and she was almost as joyful as Harry in the morning.

Relaxing back on the bed, book now in hand, Louis eyed the familiar cover. Pride and Prejudice. It was an old favorite of his, and he hated to think about all the shit he would get from Harry for reading such a book. Ignoring the Harry sounding voice in his head that was shooting out jab after jab about being a hopeless romantic, Louis flipped the book open and began reading.

He had already made a large dent in the book when the sound of a camera going off filled the room. His eyes widening, his head jerked up and he seen Harry standing there, phone held up with a grin on his face. “Wha… How lon…. When did you come out of the bathroom?” Louis asked, cheeks flaring. “And did you take a picture!?!”

“Sure did,” Harry waved the phone at him, screen facing Louis, but he quickly looked away. His sister has told his countless of times how big of a dork he looked like when he read. Apparently his eyebrows furrowed, forming a small ‘v’ on his forehead, his nose scrunched in a ridiculously cute way, and his tongue poked past his lips. “Did you kno….”

“Don’t say anything,” Louis rushed to say, cutting him off. He wedged his bookmark between the two pages and closed the book, then set it off to the side. “I don’t care how I look, or what I do when I read. And I don’t care what you have to say about it. Drop it, please,” if someone else had said that, it would have sounded rude. But Louis, when he had spoke, his voice was soft, clipped, like he was forcing the words past his throat that was slowly closing off his airway.

“Okay, okay,” Harry shoved his phone into his pocket, then held his hands up in surrender, obviously knowing when to pry and when to drop it. “Let’s go. My fatass needs a doughnut,”

As the two made their way down the stairs, Louis decided today would be an interesting day… He couldn’t wait to see what shit fest they were going to walk into.

\--

After sneakily getting the gold card from Anne, the two left and Louis kept his promise to Harry. They stopped to get Harry’s dozen doughnuts, which he managed to eat five of, then they went to the mall to do some shopping. They both hit a few stores and got some things, like clothes and such, then Louis seen is opportunity when he seen the pet store not too far away from the birthday store. After he told Harry he was going to the animal pet shop to get somethings for Zoey, Harry told him he would meet him in the panty store, and the two split ways.

Louis had been uncomfortable at first walking through the crowded mall alone, but he found if he kept his head ducked he didn’t draw too much attention to himself and he could easily move through the hoard of people. He stopped at the pet store and got a few things, like new cat litter and cat food, then all but ran across the store to the party store.

It was like a rainbow clown maze in there. He found a ton of decorations for childrens birthday party’s and stuff. None of the stuff in the store really scream Harry, but then he walked further into the store and got into the section of party supplies for more… Well, not adult parties because even these decorations looked like a unicorn vomited on them. Picking out a large banner that said “Happy birthday,” and some other things like streamers and other childish shit, he moved to the balloon section. He grabbed ten packages of different colored balloons, then went up to the counter.

While he was checking out, he couldn’t stop glancing over his shoulder, looking like a paranoid freak. He was paranoid, though. He couldn’t shake this feeling that he was going to get caught. Even though Harry was probably face first in a bin of panties, Louis still couldn’t stop himself from worrying. He was doing something behind Harry’s back, and even though it was a good thing, it still made him feel bad.

The guy at the register noticed Louis’ odd behavior, but didn’t comment. “Will this be all for you?” he asked, arms crossing over his chest. Louis nodded and dug through his pockets for the card, then paused. He needed a freaking helium tank! The damn balloons weren’t going to float by magic.

Smiling sheepishly, Louis adjusted to heavy bag full of Zoey’s stuff and peaked up at the guy from underneath his eyelashes. “Do you.. Urm… Sell helium tanks?” he asked, biting his lip. It wasn’t until the guy nodded and went to the back of the store, then returned a few minutes later with a cart full of different sized cans of helium that Louis realized he wasn’t going to be able to get a tank, not even the smallest one, without Harry noticing it.

Blushing, and once again shifting uncomfortably, Louis tapped the card on the counter and sighed. “Is there.. I mean, do you guys deliver?”

“Of course. We’ll just need your name and address,” the guy said, smiling warmly at him. “You’ll have to pay here, of course,”

Sighing in relief, Louis let his body slump against the counter and he nodded furiously. “Of course, of course!” He waved the gold card, then eyed the different sized tanks. What size would he honestly need? He got a shit ton of balloons, yeah, but he doubted they would fill them all.

As if the guy had read his thoughts, he picked up the largest can and set it on the counter. “This is our 14.9 cubic foot timed helium tank. It will fill up to 50 of the balloons you have,” he gestured towards one of the bags on the counter, “or it will fill about 30, 19 inch foil balloons,”

Louis nodded and scratched the top of his head, messing up his once flat fringe. Fifty balloons. That would be enough, right? Then Anne’s voice appeared in his mind and reminded him that this was Harry’s birthday, and whatever they bought would never be enough. “How much are they?” he asked, brushing Anne off with an invisible shrug.

“This tank is 56 dollars,”

Huffing, Louis nodded and set the card on the counter in favor of folding one arm across his chest while his other hand pinched the bridge of his nose. Jesus Christ. Who knew birthday shopping would be so damn hard! “Who’s the party for? Your girlfriend?” The guy suddenly asked, startling Louis.

Blinking a few times as his eyes slowly came into focus on the guy, Louis rubbed at his eye and blushed. Why did people always assume his sexual orientation? “Boyfriend, actually,” he clarified, smiling proudly.

The guy smiled and nodded. “Lucky guy,” he fiddled with the top of the tank, then sighed. “Listen, I don’t know him, but I’m sure he’d like having floating balloons, right?” Louis snorted. The only thing Harry would use the balloons for was to suck the helium out of them, then yell profanities at people while sounding like a chipmunk. Who knows? He might even chase after a few random strangers on the street and pretend to be a savage chipmunk.

Smiling widely at his own thoughts, Louis shook his head. “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed, figuring it was easier than explaining Harry and his odd actions. “I’ll need three, then,” Three wasn’t too much, was it? That was roughly a hundred and fifty balloons, and knowing Harry, there would be less than half of that before the party was over.

Making some odd noises of agreement, the guy finished ringing Louis up, then had him fill out a delivery sheet, which had him include full name, address, cell phone number and all that good stuff. He just hoped the dude wasn’t a stalker on his days off, or else Louis would have a problem on his hands.

Bidding a farewell to Austin, whose name Louis didn’t learn until he was getting ready to leave, Louis shoved the party supplies into his black pet store bag, making sure that Harry couldn’t see any of the party shit, then he made his way to the lingerie store.

He hesitated outside the door, eyes scanning the rows upon rows of different lingerie that hung up on the racks. There was silky looking short nightgowns, prostitute looking fishnet leggings connected to a pair of black panties, and a lot of other things that would take months of therapy to rid Louis of the trauma.

Biting his lip until he tasted blood, Louis sucked in a deep breath and walked into the store looking like a freaking tomato. It didn’t take too long until he found Harry, but when he did, he just stood back, hidden behind a shelf, and watched as the older man talked to a rather attractive looking woman as they both went through the bin of panties.

Sitting off to the side of Harry was a hand basket that was already nearly full, but from the looks of it, he wasn’t even close to being finished. Louis smiled softly as he watched Harry. Harry was grinning like an imp as he dug through the bin, but every few seconds he would turn to the woman, who Louis realized was an employee, and say something, which Louis couldn’t hear because he was too far away, followed by a loud laugh, then return back to the panties.

Most people would get jealous when watching their significant other practically flirting with another woman, but Louis wasn’t too worried. Harry didn’t like the opposite sex. Of course he’s fooled around with one to assure that he was gay, but nothing else has happened in that area of his sexual experiences. Well, there was that nonsense with Nicole, but Louis choose to ignore it, much like he did everything else the skanky bitch said.

Harry was gay, he was in love with Louis, and that was that.

Figuring that he’s been enough of a creep for a day, he stepped out from behind the shelf and walked to the edge of the bin, standing right across from Harry. “Looks like you’ve got quite the collection,” Louis giggled, eyeing the basket that was now a few underwear away from being overfilled.

At the sound of his voice, Harry jerked his head up and his entire face lit up, eyes included. “LOOK!” he lifted up the basket for Louis to see, then began to pull out handfuls. “They have so many options here! Karly showed me where they hide the good stuff!”

Louis’ eyes flickered to the blonde woman standing off to Harry and nodded in acknowledgement, then looked back at Harry. “You can’t be serious about buying all of that,”

Harry looked a little wounded at first, but he quickly recovered and nodded his head, chest puffing out and eyebrow raising in a cocky way.  _Here we go,_ Louis thought fondly when he seen Harry take a deep breath, preparing himself for a rant. “You bet yer arse I am!” he held up a pink pair that was crotchless and waved it at him. “Do you know how easy it would be to have sex when you wear these? I wouldn’t have to fight with your damn boxers! I could just pull down your pants and get…”

“Harry, stop,” Louis cut him off, blushing and not daring to let his eyes stray to the woman who was now bouncing uncomfortably on the balls of her feet. “You can get that entire basket if we can leave now,” then, going against the embarrassment that flared his cheeks, Louis turned to the woman. “I’m sorry,” He didn’t even know why he was apologizing, he just felt like he needed to. Before, he would have apologized profusely for the way Harry acted, but now he’s gotten used to it and even if he didn’t think it was at the moment, he would later find it amusing.

Shaking her head, the woman forced a smile, which fell into a grimace, and shrugged. “I’ve had worse,” she admitted with a casual shrug of her shoulders. “I once had a guy come in here and rub multiple pair of panties on his face before he came over and asked me to try them on,”

Louis stared at her, bewildered and slightly disturbed. “He…ugh. Harry, you are washing these at least five times when we get home!” Louis said, face twisting in disgust. He didn’t care if Anne knew at this point. He would rather have the mother of his boyfriend know of their weird choices of clothing, then to have some guys sweat rubbing against his butt. He shuddered at the idea and repressed his urge to vomit. Now was not the time.

Now that the contents of his stomach came to mind, he actually realized he had nothing to puke up. He hadn’t ate today. The only thing in his stomach right now was the few sips of his tea. His eyebrows furrowed and he ran a hand across his stomach, shocked that he wasn’t even hungry… Then the idea came. DINNER! He could take Harry dinner tonight! But that still left the problem of his birthday present.

Louis had maybe a hundred and fifty dollars, which Lottie had gave to him a while ago without really giving him a reason, so something extravagant just wasn’t in the picture. Ignoring Harry and the woman, who were now talking about god knows what, Louis followed them up to the counter, his eyes tracing over Harry. He could always get him a new outfit, but who in their right mind would want a damn outfit for their birthday? Besides, Harry has more clothes and shoes than he’ll ever need.

And that’s pretty much how it went for the next ten minutes. As Harry was checking out, Louis was checking Harry out, trying to be subtle but probably failing miserably. The only thing he knew Harry had, that he could get more of, was tattoos. But he couldn’t exactly take Harry to a tattoo shop, with no explanation, and make him get a tattoo.

So his birthday present might not be as big of a surprise as Harry’s had been for him. And Louis knew his would be nowhere near as sentimental as Harry’s was, but what could you buy a man who has access to everything, who has everything?

Huffing, Louis pulled out his phones and searched up the closest tattoo shops near them. Turns out, there was one two blocks from here. Louis grinned evilly, the sight terrifying on his innocent face. This might be able to work. He had the money in the car, which is where he had left his wallet, and they didn’t have anything to do today. They were, after all, skipping school.

When Harry grabbed his three pink bags off the counter, Louis walked out of the store without waiting for him. “Lou!” Harry yelled after him, but Louis didn’t bother stopping because he knew in a few seconds Harry would catch up to him.. And there he is. “Why are you in such a hurry?” he asked, nose crinkling as he gently bumped Louis with his shoulder, making the younger boy giggle.

He shrugged nonchalantly, not wanting to give anything away just yet. “I’m taking you to get your birthday present,” he said, making it sound like it wasn’t any big thing.

Harry’s footsteps faltered. “What are you getting me?” he asked, and Louis could tell he was anxious, but excited, just from his tone of voice.

He shrugged once again and unlocked the car. “Get in and you’ll find out,” in all of his life, he has never seen a person move as fast. He didn’t even know how it was humanly possible, but within the blink of an eye, Harry was sitting in the passenger side with his seatbelt already done up. Louis chuckled and shook his head, taking his own seat in the car after he put his bags in the trunk.

Ahhh, this is going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I haven't disappointed any of you with the chapters I've been posting lately. I've been shitty to you guys and I am so sorry. I promise to clean up my act and start updating more frequently and with chapters worthy of reading. I've just been in a... slump lately and haven't really had the chance to sit down and write what I actually want to write. Instead, I rush through a chapter and the end results are wacky and not what I wanted. BUTTTT, I no longer work as many hours so I will have plenty of time to give this story the tlc it deserves!! 
> 
> Also, if any of you would like to be my beta, comment down below and let me know! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter! If it's not too much, I would love to hear your thoughts and I'm not one to get whiny when I get some criticism, so if you would like, just comment down below and tell me!! :) Any feedback is welcomed!


	11. NOT AN UPDATE

This is not a chapter, so those of you who thought it was, I apologize. I just thought I would let you guys know that after a lot of contemplating, I have decided to no longer continue this story. I fell in love with the first one I wrote, and I know all of you did too, but I don't think my heart is in it. Before, all of your positive comments pushed me to continue ISWAW, but now I feel like not even the fans from the first book like this one either. I am so sorry for doing this, and I might consider picking it up again later, but for now I think I will just leave it where it's at. And I don't want you guys to feel I am not continuing anymore because I don't get a lot of reads, because that is not it. I just... I don't think I am really into this book. That being said, it might have to do with the major loss I just went through, or something else. Regardless, the It Started with a Whisper series have been put on hold.

Thank you for those of you who have stuck with me for this long. I truly love all of you!

Until later, Xx


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After beating myself up over leaving you guys hanging like that, I decide I would see this story to the end! I was going through a really hard time there for a while, and it made me act before I thought anything over. I have missed writing this story, and I still have a lot planned for Louis and Harry, so stick with me! Thank you guys for not abandoning this story, even when it was thought to be hopeless. I promise, right here and now, that I will make this one of the best fanfictions you have ever read! Just you wait and see!

\--

Harry sat in the black seat at the tattoo shop, a thick binder in his lap full of different tattoo ideas. He already knew what he wanted, but he wanted to humour Louis and look through them. The tattoo he had in mind was easy enough, but it would take some time to draw it up. When they had gotten here half an hour ago, Harry was confused until Louis told him to pick a tattoo… then it was like his inner child awakened and he was bouncing out of his seat and looking all over the tattoo shop, admiring the artwork that was hung up and that sterile smell that hung in the air.

It has been months since he last got a tattoo, but if he is being completely honest, it feels like it’s been years. Before he had met Louis, and started to mature as much as someone like him could, he was getting tattoo after tattoo. Day after day, week after week. One by one his skin slowly began to be filled. He loved the tattoos he has, albeit some of them are stupid, but he wouldn’t change any of them. They all, in some twisted way or another, have meaning. They hold memories.

“Yup,” Harry said, slamming the book closed. Enough with that. He was ready for the damn tattoo already. “I’m done. I know what I want,”

Oliver, the tattoo artist who was a big, burly guy with piercings sticking out all over his face and tattoos covering ninety percent of his body, huffed in acknowledgment and took the book. “What page?” he asked, voice gruff and extremely deep. To anybody else, he would be intimidating, scary, even, but Harry liked him.

“It’s not in the book, Ollie,” Harry said, suddenly deciding it was okay to call the giant man a nickname. Harry leaned over, arm hanging over the edge, and glanced at Louis, who was sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room looking through a book, and whispered under his breath, “It’s in my brain,”

Oliver stared at him, pierced eyebrow arching. “You’re strange, kid,” he shook his head and bent down to grab his sketch pad and a sharpened pencil. “Explain,” he may regret that in a few seconds. Since this lanky ass kid walked into his store, he has said shit and done random ass stuff that has surprised, yet amused, Oliver. In all his years as a tattoo artist, he has yet to meet anyone like him.

Glancing at Louis again, Harry took a deep breath and quickly explained what he wanted. It was a strange tattoo, but he has always wanted it. He didn’t have the guts to get it before, because it wasn’t exactly a… normal tattoo, but now he honestly doesn’t give a fuck. If he wants the damn tattoo, then he’s getting it.

Forty five minutes later Harry’s arm was resting on the cushioned armrest and his entire body was angled towards Oliver. Below his rose tattoo was the black outline for his new tattoo, and his heart danced in his chest every time he glanced down at it. It was perfect. Oliver had drawn it up in a way that Harry loved, even if it wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.

Now he was waiting for Oliver to return with a fresh pair of gloves and the needles for the tattoo gun. Everything else set on the table next to Harry, from the ointment they put on after the tattoo, to the plastic wrap and the tattoo gun itself. Harry was having a hard time concealing his excitement. He could already feel the needle piercing the skin, feel as the vibration from the tattoo gun vibrated his entire body and made him fall into a state of calmness.

“What are you getting?” Louis asked as he plopped down in the rolling chair behind Harry.

“Something,” Harry murmured, turning his arm over a little more to completely block Louis’ point of view. He wanted it to be a surprise. “You’ll like it,”

“Why can’t I see it?” Louis whined. He leaned over Harry and tried to grab his arm, but he wasn’t long enough, and the way that Harry was sitting made it so his wrist was way out of reach.

“‘Cause, I want it to be a surprise,” Harry said, grinning as he glanced over his shoulder at Louis. God, the boy looked so frustrated. It was hilarious. He loved how the smallest things could rile Louis up.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Louis plopped back down in his seat and began pouting, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. “I don’t like sup…” he cut off when Oliver returned. A gleam shot through his eye and he grinned wickedly at Harry, then turned to look up at Oliver, the angle uncomfortable on his neck. “What’s Harry getting?”

Oliver set down in his seat and pulled on the plastic gloves, eyes glancing back and forth from Harry, who was shaking his head no, to Louis, who was bouncing in his seat in anticipation. “Sorry, kid, can’t say,” he said, shrugging his shoulders before he began doing his thing.

He ignored the two kids that were arguing back and forth now, but in a fond way, and finished setting his table up. “Okay, you ready?” he asked, holding the gun up.

Harry stopped mid sentence and turned to Oliver, mouth falling open before he grinned and nodded. “Yes! Poke me, already,” He thrust his arm towards Oliver, making sure Louis still couldn’t see the tattoo, and melted back in his seat when Oliver turned on the tattoo gun and the shop was filled with that delicious, calming vibrating sound.

When the first needle pierced his skin, Harry had tensed in his seat but then he adjusted himself, focused on the needle, and relaxed once again. He didn’t know what it was about having multiple needle piercing your skin, but it never failed to calm him. It was therapeutic, almost.

After almost two hours, and two breaks, they were finished. Harry watched as Oliver smeared the ointment across the area of numbed skin before he wrapped plastic wrap around it. Louis, who had complained for the most part of the two hours about not being able to see the tattoo, had wandered up to the front of the store to pay.

Harry watched Louis as he pulled out his black leather wallet, which Anne had bought him for Christmas, and pass the wad full cash he had pulled out to the man standing behind the counter. Harry had to clench his hands into fists to keep from storming up there and demanding that he paid. He hated when Louis spent the money he saves up. The boy knows that Harry has more than enough money to spend, yet he insists on paying for stupid shit like this.

Making a mental note to put the money back in Louis’ wallet later, to save him the embarrassment of causing a scene, Harry turned back to Oliver and smiled. “It’s great, thanks mate,”

“No problem,” Oliver finished taping the plastic down, then lightly tapped his arm to let him know he could move it. “Got your hands full with that one, don’t ya?”

Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. “That’s an understatement,” he muttered, his eyes somehow finding their way back to Louis. He smiled a soft, secretive smile and sighed. “He’s worth it, though,”

“I can see that,” clapping his hands, and breaking Harry out of his secret moment, he stood up and extended a hand to Harry. “It was nice doing business with you. I hope to see you both here again someday,”

They shook hands, then Oliver disappeared in the back room and Harry was left sitting in the black chair all alone. Shaking out his limbs before he stood up, Harry carefully made his way onto his half numb legs and wobbled over to the front of the desk just as Louis was handed a small container of ointment.

“Ready?” Harry asked, extending his arm out with his palm opened. Louis nodded, smiled warmly at him, and took his hand, then led them outside.

“So,” Louis began, “What did you get?”

Harry laughed and climbed into the car, having to use the top of the door for support so he didn’t fall flat on his arse. “Wouldn’t you like to know,”

Harry’s hand found his wrapped arm and he patted it, wincing slightly. It was still numb for the most part, but it was extremely sensitive. A small part of him wanted to tap it again, but he moved his arm and instead placed it on the center console, palm up and hand open. He knew that he would have to set the ink soon, meaning he could slap it as much as he wanted without looking like a complete weirdo who honestly, and something nobody knows, got off on pain.

“Whatever, jackass, don’t tell me,” Louis mumbled as he got in the car. He pouted as he put the key in the ignition, and even went as far as glancing at Harry’s hand before he placed both of his on the steering wheel. Harry rolled his eyes and snorted, kind of loving how pissy Louis was being.

“Oh, quit your whining. You’ll see it soon enough,”

“You’ll see it soon enough,” Louis mimicked him in a high pitched voice as he pulled out of their parking space. “You are an ass, you know that, right?”

“An ass that you love,” Harry said, grinning widely. He moved his hand so it was resting on his thigh, trying to hide that he was a little wounded Louis wouldn’t hold it.

“Whatever,” Louis grumbled as he pulled up behind a car at a red light. He didn’t deny what Harry had said, and he didn’t confirm it either. The small smile tugging at his lips was answer enough though, and it made Harry grin as he set back in his seat and rolled down his window.

“Where to now, Wonder boy?” Harry asked, the wind blowing through his face and making his hair fly all over. It was like a damn curtain that kept smacking him in the face over and over again, sometimes whipping him in the eye. Growling, he grabbed a rubber band out of his cup holder, don’t ask why it was there, and pulled his hair up into a messy bun.

“I seen my signal!” Louis exclaimed, pointing towards a random spot in the blue sky. “The people need me!”

Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. “Now who’s the ass?”

“Me,” Louis chirped. “But you love me and my enormous ass.” he grinned over at Harry, showing off his teeth and all. Crinkles appeared around his squinted eyes and he looked like an absolute dork, but he was a dork Harry did, unfortunately, love.

“Yeah, yeah. Now, where are we really going?”

“Lunch. Figured we could go anywhere you’d like,”

Harry grinned and looked at Louis, a twinkle of mischievousness running through his eyes. “Anywhere I want?”

~~~~

Half an hour later they found themselves sprawled out on a scratchy blanket Harry had kept in his trunk, plastic bags of food surrounding them that had yet to be touched. Harry, after finding out he was incharge of where they could go because it was his birthday -tomorrow-, insisted they go to a store and buy lunch stuff and have a picnic at a park. His excuse was, “I don’t want some awnry ass waiters serving us food. I’m a dick, and they might spit in it,” but the truth was, he just wanted to spend time with Louis away from all those prying eyes.

Of course the park still had people in it, but where they were, they weren’t bothered. They laid their blanket underneath a tree, the branches shading them from the sun. It was about a hundred feet from the actual playground, allowing them some sort of privacy.

Sighing, Harry rolled over onto his good arm and peered down at Louis. The boy’s eyes were closed, eyelashes fanning out across his high cheekbones. His pale lips were parted, and he looked absolutely relaxed… and Harry couldn’t have that. Grinning evilly, Harry leaned down and just as he was about to press his lips against Louis’, the boy lifted a hand and covered his mouth so Harry instead kissed his knuckles.

“Quit breathing like darth vader, and maybe next time you’ll actually kiss me,” Louis said, words muffled. His eyes were still closed and he hadn’t moved an inch, but he could feel Harry next to him. He was aware of his presence, and somehow felt him growing closer and closer. His breathing had nothing to do with it.

Frowning, Harry pulled back and set up, arms folding across his chest. “I’m the birthday boy,” he said, the crinkle of the plastic wrap a reminder he had yet to show Louis his tattoo, even though he had pestered him nonstop. “Give me a hot makeout session right now, and I’ll show you my tattoo,”

“Not until tomorrow, and there are kids here, Harold. They don’t need to see you turn into some horny dog who starts lapping at my mouth,” Louis said, blue eyes finally coming into view when he let his eyelids slowly flutter open. He found himself staring at the back of Harry’s head, a small smile on his lips. He was tempted to take the offer, even though he would have made out with Harry even without the promise of seeing his tattoo. He was Harry Styles, after all. A man who still made Louis fall in love with him over and over again with every smile.

Gasping, Harry turned around and glared down at Louis. “I would only be humping random objects!” He said, acting as if he was offended. “Besides, I wouldn’t be lapping at your mouth. Yer ass would taste better,”

Louis flushed bright red at the crude comment and swallowed thickly, throat suddenly dry. “You’re mouth won’t go anywhere near…. That area,” he said, embarrassed he would even suggest such a thing. Of course it was tempting, and he had often wondered how it would feel… but it was disgusting! Stuff came out of there, and it definitely wasn’t sanitary to stick your tongue anywhere near there.

Before Harry could say anything else, or get Louis riled up, the boy was standing and running away, giggling as he called over his shoulder, “Catch me if you can, mutt!”

But Harry had no intention of doing so. Instead, he set up and folded his legs beneath him, watching as Louis ran from nothing, energy and joy radiating from him. “This is where you chase me!” Louis yelled as he spun around, feet away from Harry and a challenging look on his face.

“What’s the point? ‘Ve already caught ya,” Harry said and grinned as Louis’ face grew still, eyes clouding with hurt.  _He honestly thinks Harry isn’t up for a little game._ “Fine, fine,” he mumbled as he stood, giving in with little persuasion. “I’ll give you a five second head start,” he said, brushing the grass off of his legs.

Not even two seconds later and Louis was running again, laughing like a little maniac and looking like a little energized bunny who was powered by one too many batteries. Harry took slow steps, just casually strolling towards him as he slowly counted to five in his head, and when he reached it, he was running too. The trees and people around them passing by in a near blur as he focused on Louis and only Louis, watching as those cheeks grew pink from the chilly weather and his hair fly around his face.

Harry’s heart warmed as Louis’ giggled carried through the wind and wrapped around him, nearly lifting him off the ground and pushing him faster, harder, until he was just inches behind Louis. “Come on, run!” Harry said, fingers reaching out to brush Louis, but the boy and his damn clumsiness resulted in him tripping over his own legs.

He tumbled forward, the ground growing closer at a near dizzying speed, but Harry reacted. Instead of getting a face full of muddy grass, an arm was wrapped around Louis’ waist and he was hauled upwards into a broad chest, his own chest heaving as he whined. “Not fair! You have long legs!” No thank you for saving me from breaking my face, or ruining my clothes.

“Grow then.” Harry shot back, setting the wriggling boy on the ground. He kept a hand on his arm, just to make sure he was steady, but it was swatted away and Louis was spinning around, glaring at Harry through little slits.

“You’re rude,” Louis mumbled, looking honestly adorable as he stomped past Harry and made his way back to their little picnic spot. “I’m licking your sandwich!”

“It’s not like I haven’t sucked your tongue before,” Harry said, shaking his head as he followed after Louis. He got a few disgusted looks from a couple of parents here, who quickly covered their child’s ears, but he just grinned and shrugged. “What? Like little Tommy over there doesn’t know what french kissing is,” Harry said, rolling his eyes as he gestured towards a little boy, no older than six years old, who just stared at the older, crude, teen in awe.

Harry grinned at the little boy, and lifted his hand to wave at him but he was being pulled down, long body sprawling across the prickly grass, and a giggling midget was throwing themselves on top of him. “Your sandwich has mustard on it, so it's safe,” Louis said, nose wrinkling in the most adorable way. Harry was tempted to lean up and peck the tip of his nose, but he was supposed to be mean, remember?? Mr. Bad ass, or so Louis says.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Harry asked, completely breathless as he stared up at Louis. The sun was glaring down on them, snaking its way through the cracks in Louis’ hair and making his entire face glow; radiate with this innocence and beauty that had Harry cupping his cheek and just staring, admiring the way his cheeks pinkened and warmed underneath his hand.

“Always,” Louis mumbled, bowing his head in embarrassment.

Shaking off the haze that fogged his brain, Harry rolled them over and made it so he was now straddling Louis, his hands holding Louis’ arms above his head. “Tattoo time?”

“Yes!” the boy shrieked, excitement shining in his eyes. Harry chuckled and shook his head, letting go of Louis’ arms so he could sit back, weight resting on the lower half of Louis’ body, and slowly undid the plastic wrap.

“The tattoo is a little…” Harry paused as he wracked his brain, trying to figure out the right word the describe the black ink on his arm. “Strange,” he finished in a breath. That was honestly the only word that popped into his mind.

“Stop teasing me and take it off already!” Louis said, and Harry raised an eyebrow but did as Louis asked and finally removed the plastic wrap, revealing a naked mermaid. He had always wanted this tattoo. It has been branded in his mind for years, but he was always afraid to get it… until Louis taught him that there is nothing to be afraid of, if they are together.

“It’s beautiful!” Louis gasped, completely sincere. He didn’t ask why Harry got what he got, or why she was naked, or what the point of the tattoo was. He just admired the ink, completely entrapped in the details.

“Yeah?” Harry asked, a little uncertain. “Wanna know why I got it?” he asked. When Louis hummed, Harry grinned and turned his arm a little so he could see the tattoo better. “Because I am a mermaid!”

“Of course you are! That explains the tail!” Louis joked, eyes moving to Harry’s face. He sighed and cupped the older man’s cheek, finger’s brushing over the scruff on his chin. “Oh, Hazza,”

“Do you like it?” Harry asked, approval suddenly needed.

“Of course I do. It’s unique, like you,” the two stared at each other for a second, just lost in the moment, in each others eyes.

“I love you,” Harry murmured, not taking his eyes off of Louis.

“I love you, Harry,” a promise neither have broken locked the two there, making them remember all they have been through, and think about all they have ahead of them. Nothing would tear them apart if they just remembered the innocent love that brought the two together, that made them Harry and Louis, Louis and Harry, two lost teenagers against the world.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIII!!! Oh my god, I am so excited to be back! I have truly missed this story so much, and I have hated myself for leaving it unfinished and all of you guys hanging. I haven't had a chance to read the comments left in my absence, but trust I will be responding back to them! I plan on finishing this story, and there will be a short break there before I start working on the third, but I promise the 'Whisper' series will be finished one day. I hope I still have all of your support, even if this chapter will disappoint. It was just a little filler to get started, but they will get longer and better. Anywho, thank you for sticking around, even when I didn't. It truly means so much to me.
> 
> Much love, Xx

Harry was always poised, always ready for a camera to snap a picture of him, even if he didn't know it. His indifference to where he was remained, even when he was standing at full attention in the middle of a crowded dining room, arms folded across his chest and lips downturned in an attractive frown as voices, loud, soft, raspy, high pitched, floated around him and sang him the song he dreaded hearing every year.   
  
Birthdays have never been his thing. He's always pushed them off, wishing every year it would go by without anyone noticing, but, to no avail. This year was different though, in some sort of twisted way. Through the displeasing fog that hazed his vision, he watched as the one figure in the room bounced on the soles of his feet and sang with his entire being, eyes bright and lips stretched in a smile that could steal anyone's breath. His voice was the only one that stuck out. It's usual softness was replaced with the need to be heard, forcing his vocal cords to go higher, to vibrate and make his natural rasp even raspier.   
  
And god, Louis was watching the man before him like it was the only thing he could do. Through breathy gasps and hooded eyes, he drank in the lean figure leant against the wall, arms folded and jaw ticking. The returning stare was soft, but had a steel edge to it. Like he was staring at the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, but had the fear it would be ripped away from him if he let his eyes roam from it for even a second.   
  
When the song dwindled to an end, claps richoteching around the large, expensive house, Louis made the first move. He was a little unsure at first, a certain lightness to his step that would make it easy for him to come to a halt at any given second, but he was never told to. He was welcomed with two arms wrapping around his body, holding him strongly and melding his shorter body the the tall, muscly one.   
  
The smell of the deep woods, piny with the sweet scent of freshly blooming flowers, clogged his nostrils as he turned his face into Harry's chest and inhaled deeply, greedily. "Happy birthday, Hazza," he mumbled shyly, fingers moving to twist into the soft black material clinging to the older man's body.   
  
The response he got was a deep rumble of disapproval in the chest he was pressed against that vibrated his lips. "Happy my ass. Only thing good about this is I have an excuse to miss the family reunion now," he said, only slightly joking as he craned his neck to smile down at his breathtaking boy. Pecking the tip of his nose gently, something he was still learning how to do, he offered a grin. "Just joking, jesh. Put away the eyes, Louis. I love it,"  
  
Huffing, Louis pursed his lips and nodded, not yet fully convinced but also not wanting to ruin the light hearted atmosphere. "There's cake," he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the cake dotted with multi-colored wax. The candles Harry were supposed to blow out were already out and arranged in a careful pile on the table, the wic a dark black color.   
  
"What if I say I wanna eat you instead?" Waggling his eyebrows, Harry laughed when Louis scoffed and hit his chest.   
  
"As if, Styles. My arse is too sweet," slapping said ass, Louis winked at him and retreated with a chorus of giggles and a sway of his hips.   
  
Trailing behind him, Harry took the two plates offered to him with a tight lipped smile. A piece of cake set on each, large and brown with green frosting adding contrast.   
  
Nudging his way through the crowd with his elbows, Harry left behind his own guests and followed Louis up the stairs and into his room. He'd already endured two hours of being the perfect birthday boy. He was tired of pretending.   
  
"Gimme," Louis said once he was set on the bed, propped against the stack of pillows resting in front of the headboard, hands extended as his fingers closed and opened, reaching eagerly for the plate. Harry set down next to the short legs stretched out, aware as they pressed against his back, and moved the plates out of reach.   
  
"Sorry, dough boy, you're already too sweet," his grin was evil as he, with both plates very carefully held in one hand, picked up the fork weighed down heavily with the cake and lifted it to his mouth. His lips closed around the chilled metal fork slowly, but he drug it out even slower, the chocolatey flavor dragging down his throat as he swallowed the food after quickly chewing it.   
  


Harry felt a soft weight nestle on his chest when he glanced at Louis out of the corner of his eye and seen the small pout twisting his face. It was a soft weight, just a gentle reminder that displeasing Louis  _wasn’t_ acceptable.”Fine,” he sighed, huffing as he passed the small glass plate with delicate gold swirls around the edges to Louis.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, Louis happily moaning around each bite of cake he took before he moved to Harry’s slice. “Niall’s supposed to be coming soon,” Louis mumbled absentmindedly as he scooped up a blob of the green frosting off his plate and offered it to Harry.

The older of the two eyed it for a second, eyes nearly crossed, before he opened his mouth and silently granted the single digit access. Tongue swirling around the tip, Harry let his rough tongue drag against the soft pad of Louis’ finger before he pulled off with an over exaggerated pop. “Why’s the angry lawn gnome coming?”

It wasn’t like Harry  _didn’t_ like the weirdo irish lad, but they weren’t exactly friends. Niall still hasn’t forgiven Harry for sleeping with his boyfriend, even if it was before they were even considered ‘dating’. Rolling his eyes and repressing a huff, he flung himself back on the bed and kicked his long legs out, letting them dangle over the edge freely.

“Hazza, please. He’s agreed to be nice  _and_ he brought a gift.”  _which, in Niall talk, translated to; “I don’t give a fuck who I’m mad at. If they have food, I’m their new best friend.”_  which is exactly the case. Niall would never decline free food.

Rolling his eyes, Harry absentmindedly scratched lightly at his new tattoo. “He’s your friend. You go play house with him,”

“Oh, hop of it Harry. Be nice or I won’t give you sex,” the arch of his eyebrow showed he wasn’t kidding but was, in fact, serious.

 _Fucking hell. Serious Louis was always a sight to behold…. And definitely Harry’s least favorite Louis._ “Fine, mummy, but if he’s mean i’ll throw sand at him.” The only response Harry got to that, besides the toe digging harshly into his spine, was an eye roll and a ‘I can’t fucking believe this is my boyfriend’ look.

Rolling off the legs he had unintentionally trapped in his dramatic scene, Harry pushed himself up off the bed and grabbed the plates. “I’m going down to mingle, see if there’s a hot chick willing to lick ear,” shrugging as if it was the most normal thing Harry said, Louis waved him off.

“Just make sure you aren’t related to her. I’m not helping raise an incest baby,”

Flipping Louis off over his shoulder, Harry jogged down the stairs and froze to listen. There was still too many people here. He could smell their different colognes, perfumes and body odors mingling together, creating a suffocating gas that crept down his throat and clogged his lungs. Breathing solely through his mouth, Harry walked into the kitchen and set the plates down in the sink, thankful this room was empty of anyone except for Zoey.  _damned cat._

She had gotten somewhat cuter as she’s grown. Her body has started to even out, and she no longer looked like a bobble headed kitten. Nudging her with the tip of his boot, he hid a grin behind his hand when she glared up at him before swatting at his shoe, movements lazy. “He’s cute,” a soft voice said, startling Harry.

He glanced up to find a slim figure leaning against the door frame, arms folded across their chest and making the long sleeved black shirt crinkle in the curve of the elbows and grow taut around the actual elbow. Long hair tumbled down around her shoulders, reaching just above her ass, and the off colored purple (dull and dirty looking) really threw him off. “She,” he corrected the woman, not at all recognizing the tall woman with grey eyes.

_As if the sparkly pink collar wasn’t a dead giveaway._

“Don’t remember me, Hazzie?” She asked, rather than admitting she had been wrong about the cat's gender. It wasn’t even that cute anyway.

Shaking his head, Harry gripped the edge of the counter and pulled himself up, his heels hitting very loudly into the cupboard below him as he landed very ungracefully on his ass on the counter. The nickname should have had alarms going off in his head, but all that was happening up there was Louis doing a strip tease for him.

Licking her bottom lip coated in bright purple lipstick, she nodded and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “What about if I call you a ‘frog faced dick’ and smash a mud cake in your face?” she asked, eyebrow (with a chunk missing out of the middle of it) arching.

Ohhh. Now it made sense, and rather than giving her the reaction she was looking for, Harry pursed his lips and nodded before grabbing a bag of crisps from the cupboard behind him. “Cool?” he acted as if he still didn’t know, when really his brain was being swamped with haunting memories from his childhood. Her name was Alyssa, she was his cousin or something.

Her parents had money when Anne didn’t, so she figured she was better than Harry and could pick on the lanky boy who hadn’t yet grown into his body. She was two years older than him, and always used her age as an advantage. She used to lock him in closets, force feed him mud pies, and (attempt to) drown him in the pond behind her parents home. He got the nickname ‘frog face’ from her because one day when she attempted to drown him, a lily pad stuck to his face. She was uncreative, if you asked him.

Popping a salty chip into his mouth, he gagged almost instantly when he got the strong tomato flavor.  _Ketchup chips. Fucking Louis._ Gargling a drink of water, Harry threw the chips on the counter then hopped down, feet planting perfectly on the ground. “We can reminisce about the good times we had as children, or you can fuck off and leave me alone before I…”

“Hazza, Niall’s here,” Louis popped his head into the kitchen and grinned at Harry before warm eyes turned to find Alyssa, instantly becoming cold and dark… “Hi,” backing up a little, he looked pointedly at Harry as he pointed at his ear before dragging a thumb across his neck.  _Gag._

“You haven’t changed, you know? Run as soon as your bitch calls you,” Alyssa said, black rimmed eyes flicking to the place Louis had been before she looked back up at Harry.

“You haven’t either. When are you going to get a life and stop bitching about mine? Run back to your cheating husband and chase yet another one of his flings out of the house with one of your empty wine bottles.” waving her off, Harry growled under his breath and was actually happy to see the blonde headed irish boy standing in the living room.

“Harry, wait,”

Harry spun around to find Alyssa was following him, hard eyes slightly softer and hand extended to show she'd given up, to call a truce. “What the fuck do you want now?” He figured she just wanted to pick on him more, that she needed her fix. But…

“I know where Louis’ dad is.”  _Wait, what?_ “Spencer Tomlinson? His brother? Is my husband's step brother.”

 _Hold the fuck on._ A worried glance was thrown in Louis’ direction, but upon seeing the boy lost in conversation with Niall, Harry quickly grabbed Alyssa’s hand and drug her into the closest room… Which also happened the be the bathroom. “What the fuck are you on about?”

Harry only knew of Louis’ father, of how he’d left them with nothing and had ultimately been the one who shoved the bottle into his wife’s hands and the poured the pills down her throat. He didn’t actually agree with that, but he also didn’t agree with a man running away with his family. He was a coward. He was worse than Desmond, and Harry never thought his father would ever lose the title of ‘Worst father ever’. Yet… Mark…

She was smirking, obviously knew that she had Harry where she wanted him. She had information that could crush the man in the next room, and would squeeze every little thing she wanted out of Harry. “Mark Tomlinson? My husband, James, is step brothers with the queen of fags brother.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Harry’s hand’s clenched into fists, though he would never punch the woman. Teeth gritting together until he could hear that annoying squeaking sound in his ears, Harry closed his eyes for a split second. What was he to do with this information? He couldn’t exactly keep it to himself, but he also refused to run out and tell Louis that his father had left him to go and start a new family.

_Fuck._

“You tell anyone, Alyssa, and I mean anyone and I promise you that you will regret it,” rather it be him or someone else, he would make sure Alyssa got took care of if any of this got back to Louis. He needed.. Fuck, he needed time.

Rubbing his temples where a headache had appeared, seeming to have some sort vengeance, he sighed and leaned against the door. “We'll see, Harry. Remember, I'm the one in charge,” winking at him, she reached for the door and jerked it open just as a tiny fist was raising to knock on the door.

Seconds too late, Harry watched as Louis’ hand made contact with Alyssa's mouth, fingernail catching on her bottom lip and splitting it open as he jerked his hand away. Her head shot back in an overdramatic sort of way, seconds after the actual hit. Blood gushed out of her lip, trailing down her chin and seeping into her black shirt.

“Oh shit-- I'm sorry,” the tiny boy with green frosting smeared on his nose said, hand raising to cover his open mouth as he gasped. Terrified blue eyes flickered to Harry's for a second before they found Alyssa again just as she shoved past Louis and ran in the direction of the kitchen. “I didn't mean to, Harry. I'm so sorry. I was just bringing you a drink because Niall spiked it with vodka,”

Their attention was grabbed by the shattered glass at their feet, red Kool-Aid making a puddle on the dark hardwood. Now with the alcohol brought to his attention, he could smell it, eyes temporarily flicking up to find the Irishman who was trying to get him shitfaced. “It's alright, Louis. She's just a bitch,”

Drawing Louis into a hug, Harry glanced around to make sure they were alone before he kissed the boys temple and whispered, “I love you,” in his hair. Bubbles of satisfaction rose in his chest when he seen the trail of splattered drops of blood on the floor. He forced them down, not wanting to laugh when Louis was truly upset.

Birthdays wishes never came true, or so he thought. But then he heard the muffled crying carrying down the hallway and, with his arms tightening around Louis, he knew his had come true. He wanted this party to go to shit and end so he could just be with Louis, and as cruel as that sounded, it was all he wanted….

_Even if he did have to think of a way to tell Louis he knew where his brother and father were…_

_Fuck._

“Let's go find Niall and his alcohol,” Harry finally decided, figuring getting shitfaced drunk would solve all their problems.

_Not._


End file.
